


Shut Up, Black

by Patriceavril



Series: Blackdonald [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alcohol, Canon Compliant, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Friends With Benefits, Friendship, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:07:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 54,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27757396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Patriceavril/pseuds/Patriceavril
Summary: "We're not dating. We shag, and we do our homework together, and sometimes we play Exploding Snap or throw dungbombs off the roof," Mary explained. "I don't know why more people don't do something like this, to be honest.""Because most people are sentimental sods who enjoy holding hands and talking about their feelings," Sirius said, rolling his eyes.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Mary Macdonald
Series: Blackdonald [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2104170
Comments: 12
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

Wednesday, September 1, 1976

"Nice one, Padfoot!" Peter exclaimed, applauding as Sirius managed to catch a Bertie Botts in his mouth while hanging by his knees from James's broom.

"We've run out of Bertie Botts," James observed, shaking the empty box fruitlessly before tossing it aside.

"That's no good," Sirius said, maneuvering himself down from the broom and sitting down."There aren't even any on the floor we can re-use. Guess I'm too accurate for my own good."

"Moony always says it's disgusting when you use the ones from the floor," Peter pointed out.

"Yeah, well, Moony's patrolling the corridors so he's not here to scold me, and there aren't even any floor beans anyway, so it's a moot point," Sirius retorted.

"We could go over my new Quidditch plays instead," James suggested innocently, glancing sideways at Sirius to see his reaction.

"Sure," Peter said with a shrug, but Sirius scowled and shook his head.

"He's only joking, Wormtail, or at least I hope he's bloody joking," Sirius said, glaring at James. "All we did this summer was go over the new Quidditch plays. I'm pretty sure I could run them in my sleep, and I'm not even on the damn team."

"I was mostly joking," James explained, grinning and running a hand through his hair. "Although I'm still not sure about some of the Seeker maneuvers…"

Sirius waved his hand dismissively. "Your Seeker will be fine, she's the least of your worries. Turn off your Quidditch Captain brain, Prongs. We're going to have a nice, relaxing train ride."

"We could play chess," Peter suggested.

"Nah, you always win, and I'm not in the mood to lose at the moment," Sirius replied.

"Well, maybe you should work on improving your game," Peter said. "You always take out your queen too early."

"I don't have the patience for it," Sirius replied, unconcerned.

"Me and Prongs could play, then," Peter said hopefully.  
"No, then Padfoot will be bored and he'll just annoy us until we stop playing," James pointed out.

"I'm not a child, Prongs," Sirius complained. "But I would get rather bored if you two play and I'd probably be forced to pester you until you pay attention to me. I guess there's only one solution: I'm going to go buy more Bertie Botts."

"I can go if you want," Peter offered. Going out for more snacks was normally his job.

"It's all right, I want to take a walk anyway," Sirius said, standing and stretching before striding across the compartment and pulling open the door.

"If you see Moony, tell him we miss him," James said, grinning. "And if you see Evans, tell her there's a seat in this compartment with her name on it. Wait, no, don't say that, I forgot I'm trying to be less of an obnoxious git this year."

Sirius gave him a thumbs up and stepped out of the compartment, shutting the door behind him before setting off down the corridor at a leisurely pace. He spotted the elderly witch pushing her trolley up ahead, and he sped up to catch up to her.

"Hello, love," he said, flashing her his most charming smile and reaching into his pocket for his money. "Could I trouble you for another box of Bertie Botts?"

She pursed her lips and frowned at him, but nonetheless accepted his proffered coins and handed him the requested sweets.

"Come on, there's no need to look at me like that every time," he protested. "I've got to be one of your best customers."

"I haven't forgotten the time you and your friends tried to escape from the train," she replied sternly.

"But that was years ago," Sirius said, smiling at the memory. "We'd never dream of doing something so reckless and idiotic now - at least not on the train, we prefer to save our most reckless and idiotic stunts for when we actually get to the castle." When she failed to return his smile, he went on, "Besides, escaping from the train wasn't my idea. I tried to stop them, but they didn't listen, so I had no choice but to go along with it."

"Whose idea was it, then?" she asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

"The pudgy blonde one," Sirius said at once. "Kind of short, looks innocent with those blue eyes, but wouldn't you know it, he's always the one coming up with the wild schemes to break the rules. Keep your eye on him." He winked, then turned and strolled back down the corridor, clutching his Bertie Botts and chuckling to himself. He stopped in the doorway of an open compartment when he glimpsed Mary Macdonald, immersed in a Witch Weekly magazine with her legs tucked under her and her curly brown hair tumbling into her face.

"Hello, Macdonald," he said, leaning against the doorway casually and grinning at her.

"Oh, hi, Black," she said, closing her magazine and looking up at him eagerly. "Come and sit with me for a minute, I'm about to die of boredom."

He took a seat across from her, moving aside a jumper and a Potions textbook that he assumed belonged to Lily. "Why are you sitting all alone dying of boredom?"

"Well, Lily is out doing official prefect duties," she said, rolling her eyes. "Ann is dating Stebbins now, so she's gone to sit with him."

"You're joking!" Sirius said incredulously. "What, was she just waiting around for you to be finished with him so she could have her chance?"

"Apparently," Mary replied, shrugging disinterestedly. "I don't care, I told her she's welcome to him, but I'm not going to sit here and watch them snog, it's disgusting, so she's joined him in his compartment with his Hufflepuff friends. And Olivia is a Sluggy, so she's gone off to eat quail and crystallized pineapple and talk about whose parents are the most successful, or, I dunno, is that what they do at those things?"

"Don't ask me, I've never been," Sirius replied, looking offended at the mere suggestion that he might attend a Slug Club event. "Sounds dead boring, in any case."

"Although sitting here alone reading Witch Weekly isn't much more entertaining," Mary pointed out.

"True." He pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and shook one out, then offered the pack to Mary.

"Ooh, Lily's going to be furious if she catches us smoking in here," Mary cautioned, but she took a cigarette from the pack anyway.  
"So will Remus, but we'll just open the window." Sirius pushed the small window open to let in the crisp September air and lit his cigarette, inhaling deeply before doing his best to blow the smoke out of the compartment. Mary joined him, lighting her own cigarette and standing quite close to Sirius in order to aim her smoke out the window.

"You know, this is around the spot we tried to jump off the train," Sirius mused, gesturing out the window as the train hurtled past a clear pond with flowers growing along the bank.

"What?" Mary asked, eyes wide. "When was this?"

"You've never heard this story?" Sirius demanded, incredulous. "I thought everyone knew about that." He took a drag on his cigarette, then exhaled and cleared his throat dramatically. "Right, it was the end of first year, and I wasn't exactly thrilled to be leaving school for the summer, so I think I said something like, 'I wish I didn't have to go home,' and James said, 'Then don't.' So we had it all worked out, we were going to jump out the window and do a Cushioning Charm to break our fall, and it probably would have worked, too, as long as we jumped far enough to avoid getting run over. We'd hoisted James up and got him halfway out the window before the trolley witch burst through the door and yanked him back in." Roaring with laughter at the memory, Sirius barely managed to finish the story.

"No way!" Mary gasped. "I can't believe I've never heard that story before!" She threw her head back and laughed, then dropped her cigarette and hastily bent to pick it up before it burnt a hole in the carpet. "Are you sure you're not just making that up?"

"I swear!" Sirius insisted. "Come with me next time I buy anything from the trolley witch. She still doesn't trust us - you should've seen the way she looked at me when I went to buy Bertie Botts."

"Well, thanks for that ," Mary said, finally getting herself under control. "I can't remember the last time I laughed that hard."

"Me neither," Sirius said truthfully. "I haven't thought about that in ages."

They stood smoking in silence for several minutes, both sensing the slight electricity that crackled between them. They had spent an enjoyable night together at a party at James's house over the summer, and the memory of that encounter clearly remained fresh in their minds.

"I sort of expected you to write to me," Mary admitted ruefully, finally breaking the silence.

"I thought about it," Sirius admitted. "But then I wasn't sure if that would go against our mutual agreement to keep things casual." He grinned at her. "You could have written to me too, you know."

"Yeah, I know. I suppose I had the same thought you did." She took a last drag on her cigarette, then put it out on the window ledge and flicked the butt out the window. "How was the rest of your summer?"

"Not bad," Sirius said. "I ran into my mother and Regulus in Diagon Alley, so that was a whole fucking thing." He grimaced. "But other than that it was all right. What about you?"

"Not bad," she said, echoing him. "I worked a lot."

"Ugh, that sounds awful," Sirius said with disdain. "Why in the world would you want to do that?"

She laughed. "I didn't do it because it was a laugh, I did it to earn a bit of money." She returned to her previous spot and sat down again, turning sideways and stretching out her legs across the seat. "My mum got me a job at the diner she works at. It's just down the street from our flat and it pays all right." She grinned. "We have some regular customers that come in every single day. It'll be strange not seeing them all year. I mean, some of them are horrible, but some are lovely." She spent the next ten minutes describing the most interesting regulars at the diner, including a perverted old man who always stared at Mary's cleavage but left incredibly generous tips, and a sweet middle-aged woman who read smutty romance novels while she ate her chocolate chip pancakes.

"And then, if you can believe it, he chucked his spoon at me - I would've ducked, but I was carrying two mugs of coffee, so I had no choice but to let it hit me in the head - all because he claimed his toast was 'too toasty!'" By the time she finished this story about a particularly nasty customer, she and Sirius were both hanging onto each other, laughing hysterically.

"I would've thrown the coffee in his face," Sirius said, slightly out of breath from laughing so hard. "Hang on, is this a Muggle restaurant?" Sirius said, as if this thought had just occurred to him. "As in, they make the food and wash the dishes and do everything without magic? And they pay you in Muggle money?"

"Yeah, that's the idea," she said, amused by his interest.

He contemplated this for a minute. "That's so strange. But also brilliant. If you work there next summer, I'm coming to visit you at work," he proclaimed, sounding positively ecstatic at the thought of visiting a Muggle establishment.

Mary shrugged. "All right, if you like." She glanced at her watch. "Shit, we've been talking for ages. Lily should be back any minute."

"I'd suppose I'd better get back to my compartment, but I'll see you around." He waved, then turned and walked out of the compartment, unable to keep a smile off his face. When he slid open the door of his compartment and stepped inside, he saw that Remus had rejoined them in the time Sirius had been gone.

"-had to cut the conversation short, because Lily had to go make an appearance at Slughorn's compartment, but she had nothing negative to say about you, Prongs, which I'd say is progress," Remus was saying as Sirius walked in. "Oh, hello, Padfoot."

"What took you so long?" James demanded. "We got bored, so we started a game of Exploding Snap - I'll deal you in." He shook his head disapprovingly. "You didn't even tell Moony we missed him."

"I went looking for you," Peter added. "I asked the trolley witch if she'd seen you - she gave me the meanest look, it was a bit scary, actually." He frowned, then picked up his Exploding Snap cards and began sorting them.

"Why are you looking so cheerful?" James asked.

"No reason," Sirius said innocently, taking the empty seat next to James. "Go on, then, deal me in. Moony, what were you saying about Evans?"


	2. Chapter 2

Thursday, September 2, 1976

"If you had to shag one of the professors, which one would it be?" Sirius asked thoughtfully.

James snorted with laughter, Remus looked horrified, and Peter frowned in concentration as if his life depended on choosing the right answer.

"It's 8 am on the first day of classes and that's what's going through your mind?" Remus asked.

"Yes, and don't act so high and mighty like you've never thought about it before," Sirius retorted.

"But I haven't!" Remus protested. "It's never occurred to me - Wormtail, have you?"

"No," Peter said slowly, "but I think I'd probably pick Professor Trelawney? Or maybe Professor Sinistra? I dunno, what do you think?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "You have to decide for yourself, Wormtail, that's the whole point. But for what it's worth, I think those are both just awful choices."

"Who would you choose, then?" Peter asked. "McGonagall?"

"How dare you!" Sirius shouted, startling a third year Ravenclaw girl who had the misfortune of walking by at that moment. "I would never think about Minnie that way - I have far too much respect for her." He glanced at James, who was still laughing. "What's so funny, Prongs?"

"I was thinking about this exact same thing last night at the feast," James explained. "Sometimes it's like we have the same brain!"

"The same weird, perverted, fucked up brain," Remus added, smirking.

Sirius ignored Remus's jibe. "Who would you choose, then?" he asked James.

"Professor Sprout," James answered promptly, "but I can't explain why."

Remus laughed, but Sirius fell silent for a minute, thinking. "Yeah, I'd do it," he decided. "She's got kind of, I dunno, an earthy appeal, with the dirt under her fingernails and that flyaway hair."

"You're freaks, both of you," Remus said.

"We know who you'd choose, Moony," James said. "It'd be Madam Pomfrey, don't you think, Padfoot?"

"I dunno," Sirius said, shaking his head. "I think Remus thinks of Pomfrey sort of the way I think of McGonagall - he has too much respect for her to see her that way."

Remus hesitated, torn, then smiled roguishly. "Nah, Prongs is right, I'd definitely do it. Not that I don't have loads of respect for her, because I do! She's excellent at her job and all. It's just, well, she's fairly good looking, isn't she? And she has very gentle hands."

"Gentle hands?" Sirius repeated before dissolving into laughter. James and Peter were both laughing so hard that the four boys had to stop in the middle of the corridor; other students stepped around them, glancing back over their shoulders in confusion.

"Good morning, gentlemen," said a familiar voice, and the four Marauders turned to see Professor McGonagall standing with her arms crossed, fixing them with her usual stern gaze.

"Good morning," Sirius managed to choke out.

"Hello, Professor," James added, not daring to look at Sirius for fear he wouldn't be able to contain his amusement.

"Dare I ask what is so amusing that it's causing the four of you to make a spectacle of yourselves and block up the corridor?" she asked.

"No, you'd better not," Remus replied, shaking his head emphatically.

"Very well," McGonagall said. "Mr. Black, may I have a quick word with you in my office?" She looked at the surprised look on the boys' faces, then added, "You're not in trouble. Not yet, anyway. I just need to talk to you about a couple of things."

"Er, yeah, all right," Sirius said.

"Will he be back in time for breakfast?" James asked.

"I assume so," McGonagall replied.

"Well, you know what happens when you assume, Professor-" James began.

"Excuse me?" McGonagall asked, pursing her lips.

"Er, I mean, I just need a more definite answer, that's all," James amended. "So I can decide how much bacon to set aside."

"None," McGonagall said firmly. "Mr. Black will be back at breakfast with plenty of time to eat the entire pig's worth of bacon that he normally consumes."

"I could wait outside your office-"

"That will not be necessary, Mr. Potter," McGonagall assured him. "Go down to breakfast, and Mr. Black will join you momentarily." Her tone left no room for argument, so Remus and Peter set off for the Great Hall, and James followed reluctantly, waving at Sirius and McGonagall over his shoulder.

"Professor," Sirius said as he strode alongside her in the direction of her office, "how much time do you think you've wasted debating with us about absolute nonsense?" He glanced sideways at her and grinned. "It's got to be at least a week of your life that you'll never get back."

McGonagall sighed and shook her head. "That's something I prefer not to think about, Mr. Black."

When they reached her office, he followed her inside and stood leaning against the doorway until she gestured for him to take the seat across from her desk. He did so, slouching down with his legs in front of him and his hands resting behind his head, but he straightened when she cleared her throat.

"I wanted to speak to you about two matters," she began. "First, it is my duty to inform you that from now on, the school will be sending all communications, whether of a disciplinary nature or otherwise, to Fleamont and Euphemia Potter rather than to your parents."

Sirius eyed her suspiciously. "What, did my parents write to you or something?"

McGonagall kept her face mostly neutral, but the slight tightening of her mouth and narrowing of her eyes told Sirius everything he needed to know.

"She sent you a bloody Howler, didn't she?" he demanded, voice rising in anger.

"Language, Mr. Black," McGonagall said calmly, but Sirius refused to be chastened.

"No, that's just un-fucking-called for!" he exploded.

"Language, Mr. Black," McGonagall repeated, her voice louder this time, but Sirius continued without acknowledging her interruption, rising from his chair and pacing a restless path around the room.

"It's one thing to send me a Howler, I don't bloody care, but just because she's a fucking cunt and doesn't want me as a son anymore doesn't give her an excuse to shout at you!"

"Mr. Black!" McGonagall exclaimed, standing up in an effort to get his attention. "You are currently shouting at me yourself."

Sirius opened his mouth to argue, then realized what she had said. He stopped pacing and took a deep breath, slumping slightly as the anger left him as quickly as it had arrived.

"Right," he said sheepishly. "Sorry." He pulled his wand and a piece of parchment from his pocket and looked at her expectantly. "All right, what's it going to be? Points from Gryffindor, detention, or both?" He pointed his wand at the parchment as though about to magically record his punishment.

"What are you doing?" McGonagall asked, frowning and gesturing at the parchment in his hand.

"Oh," he said. "We keep a record of how many days it's been since any of us have lost points or gotten detention. It's on the wall in our dormitory, and we each have a piece of parchment where we record any punishments that automatically changes it on the one in the dormitory. We've been doing this since the beginning of last year." He smiled wryly. "It was Remus's idea. He said he'd buy us all a year's supply of Honeydukes if we could go a month without losing points or getting detention. We went almost three weeks once, but one of us always messes up eventually."

McGonagall stared at him, eyes narrowed. "Did you use a Protean Charm?"

Sirius nodded.

"You can perform a Protean Charm?" she asked, incredulous.

Sirius nodded again. "James too. It was a bit tricky at first, but once we had the theory down it really wasn't hard to learn." He grinned when he noticed the expression on her face. "You look impressed."

She gave him a small smile. "It's very advanced magic," she said, and coming from her this was high praise. She seemed to consider something silently for a moment before she sighed. "Have a seat."

He followed her instructions, still waiting to be assigned a punishment. She sighed again, then sat down, opened a drawer of her desk and pulled out a tin, then held it out to him.

"Black, have a biscuit."

He tilted his head to the side and looked at her, confused. "A biscuit?" he repeated.

"Yes, Black, a biscuit," she said impatiently. "A type of baked sweet, made with flour and sugar, often served with tea. I trust you've had biscuits before?"

Sirius continued to stare at her for several seconds before he recovered himself. "Yes, Professor, I'm familiar with the concept of a biscuit, I just, well, sorry, does this mean I'm not losing points or getting detention, then?"

Her lips twitched infinitesimally, as if she wanted to smile again, but she repressed the urge and merely shook her head. "No, not today, Mr. Black," she said. "But don't let me hear you using language like that again."

"Right," Sirius said, nodding. "Of course."

She set the tin on the desk and pushed it towards Sirius pointedly. After a moment's hesitation, he selected a biscuit from the tin. Once he had taken a bite, McGonagall cleared her throat.

"As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, Hogwarts will now be communicating with the Potters rather than with your parents about any disciplinary or educational matters that pertain to you. Yes, I did receive a Howler from your mother regarding this matter." She held up her hand to forestall any further protests from Sirius. "However, it was not the first Howler I've ever received, nor will it be the last. I also wanted to let you know that in addition to the correspondence from your mother, I also received a letter from the Potters expressing their desire to be considered as your unofficial guardians until you come of age. They included written permission for you to visit Hogsmeade, and they requested to be informed of any rule breaking so they can do their best to exert a positive influence on you, though after raising James for the past sixteen years, they did not expect to have much success."

Sirius grinned. "At least they're realists," he said, feeling touched that the Potters would go out of their way to make this gesture.  
McGonagall nodded. "Indeed." She studied Sirius for a moment, then said, "Despite the catastrophic amount of trouble you two cause together, you and Mr. Potter are lucky to have each other as friends."

"I suppose we are," Sirius agreed, surprised but pleased by her almost affectionate tone.

McGonagall looked as though she would like to say more, but merely shook her head as if to clear it and took two pieces of parchment from separate piles on her desk. "Now, since you're already here, I may as well go over your schedule with you now." She scrutinized the first piece of parchment, containing what appeared to be a class schedule, then compared it to the other, evidently containing Sirius's O.W.L. scores. "I'm sure it will not surprise you that you're fine to continue on with all of your chosen classes." She hesitated for a moment. "At the risk of inflating your already rather large ego, I have to tell you that you've done exceedingly well. Mr. and Mrs. Potter must be quite proud." She handed him his schedule, wearing the same small, impressed smile she'd worn when she discovered his mastery of the Protean Charm.

Sirius stared at her for several seconds, unable to absorb what he was hearing. He was certain he'd never received such a large compliment from Professor McGonagall, especially not after he'd shouted at her and used several choice swear words in the same sentence. Finally, he accepted the course schedule and returned her smile.

"Thanks, Professor," he said, his mind reeling. This might be the strangest morning he'd ever had, and yet he felt incredibly pleased. "Er, should I go down to breakfast now?"

"Yes, please do, before Mr. Potter becomes overly concerned about the availability of bacon and decides to come in search of you," she replied, and Sirius set off for the Great Hall, shaking his head and smiling to himself.

"What was that all about?" James asked when Sirius joined them at the Gryffindor table.

"Strangest bloody fifteen minutes of my life," Sirius replied, piling food on his plate. "I shouted about what a cunt my mother is, and McGonagall basically said she's proud of me twice. Oh, and she gave me a biscuit." He chuckled when he saw the expressions of mingled confusion and amusement on his friends' faces, and he proceeded to recount the full details of his conversation with McGonagall.

After breakfast, sixth year students had to be cleared by their Heads of House to continue with their chosen N.E.W.T subjects, so Sirius waited as his friends each met with McGonagall. Once they had all been given their schedules, they set off for the first class of the day, excitedly chatting about the possibilities free periods offered.

"It'll be brilliant! We'll have the common room almost to ourselves," James said, then lowered his voice. "We could even go into Hogsmeade for supplies if we wanted to - or would that be too suspicious if we turned up on a Wednesday morning, d'you think?"

Sirius frowned down at his schedule. "I don't have a free period Wednesday morning. Mine's in the afternoon." He plucked the schedule out of James's hand and held it up to his own. "Hang on, this can't be right. We don't have any free periods together!"

James paused to peer at the two schedules, stopping so suddenly that Remus almost ran straight into him.

"Sorry, Moony," he said hurriedly.

"Wait, let me see your schedule," Sirius said to Remus, grabbing it out of his hand before he had time to reply, then shoving it back at him after a moment with an exasperated sigh. "No good. Wormtail, gimme yours." He quickly perused Peter's schedule, then looked up again, shaking his head.

"Well, this is obviously a mistake. Come on, then," James said, reversing direction and gesturing over his shoulder for his friends to follow him.

Peter and Remus glanced at each other, then shrugged and followed Sirius, who seemed to know what James was up to without having to ask. The two strode briskly back to McGonagall and stood in front of her with their arms crossed.

"Professor," James began, "there's been a mistake."

"There's something wrong with my schedule," Sirius added, thrusting it at her roughly.

"Gentlemen," McGonagall said, peering at them over her glasses and frowning, "I am in the middle of speaking with Ms. Evans regarding her course schedule."

"Sorry, Evans," James said quickly. "This is quite urgent, I'm afraid."

"Can't wait a moment longer," Sirius added. "Life or death, really."

"Mr. Potter! Mr. Black! I must ask you to wait until I finish clearing Miss Evans to take her selected classes," McGonagall exclaimed.

"I'll save you some time, Professor," James said helpfully. "She got excellent scores and is cleared to take everything."

"Well, that is technically correct-" McGonagall began.

"We'll see you in Herbology," Sirius said, smiling dismissively at Lily.

McGonagall held up a hand to silence James and Sirius, then sighed. "Miss Evans, you are in fact cleared to take all of your courses. Well done, and I do apologize for the incredibly rude interruption." She glared at James and Sirius, who, to their credit, managed to look contrite.

"Oh, well, all right," Lily said, appearing slightly put out. "Thanks, Professor McGonagall." She strode away, glancing back over her shoulder at James and Sirius and shooting them a disapproving glare.

"Well?" McGonagall asked, raising her eyebrows at James and Sirius expectantly. "What could possibly be so wrong with your schedule that you thought it justified to barge in and interrupt my conversation with another student? As I recall, you took no issue with it when I handed it to you earlier."

"Yes, but that was before I compared it to everyone else's schedules," Sirius explained.

"We don't have any free periods together!" James exclaimed.

"I don't have any with Remus or Peter, either," Sirius added.

"I fail to see how this constitutes a life or death situation," McGonagall said flatly.

"Well, all right, I suppose that may have been a bit of an overstatement," Sirius admitted. "But we reckoned you'd want to correct this egregious scheduling error as soon as possible."

McGonagall examined Sirius's schedule for a moment, then looked up, exasperated. "Black, there is absolutely nothing wrong with your schedule. Everything is perfectly in order."

"But why hasn't he got the same free period as the rest of us?" James demanded.

"Because he is not taking all the same classes as you," McGonagall said impatiently. "Mr. Black is taking Muggle Studies, while you have elected to take Ancient Runes. This should not come as a surprise to you, as you have been taking these classes since third year. If it is really that important to you, perhaps you should have chosen the same classes."

"Well, we planned to, but James insisted on taking Ancient Runes because Evans was taking it, and I wanted to do Muggle Studies to annoy my parents, so here we are," Sirius explained.

She raised her eyebrows. "I'm glad you both put so much careful consideration into choosing your courses. Now, please explain to me how you both earned nine Outstanding O.W.L.s, and yet the concept of different classes being held at different times has you completely flummoxed."

"But Ancient Runes and Muggle Studies have always been held at the same time," Sirius protested.

"You are the only 6th year student continuing with Muggle Studies, so you'll be combined with the 7th years. That class is held at a different time. You have Wednesday afternoon free, and Mr. Potter has a free period Wednesday morning. You will survive. Please stop wasting my time, gentlemen." She turned to leave, shaking her head in disbelief.

"But this is rubbish, Professor!" James said.

"Yeah, what am I supposed to do with a free period all by myself?" Sirius insisted.

"I suggest you use the time to complete homework. You two do not have to spend every waking moment together." She met Sirius's eye. "Here is another 20 minutes of my life I will never get back, Mr. Black. You've both lost Gryffindor five points. Now, please, get to Herbology, and don't forget to record your lost points on those spelled pieces of parchment. Good day, boys." With that pronouncement, she turned and strode briskly away, muttering under her breath something that sounded suspiciously like "Bloody hell."


	3. Chapter 3

Wednesday, September 8, 1796

Sirius stepped through the portrait hole and into the almost entirely deserted common room, dropping his bag and promptly sitting down in his favorite chair. He slouched down and stretched his legs out in front of him, trying to decide whether to spend this free period doing homework or taking a nap in preparation for their full moon adventures later that evening. Before he had gotten any further than pulling a book from his bag and eyeing it distastefully, Mary came down the staircase from the girls' dormitory and took the seat across from him, setting down her bag by her feet.

"Hello, Black," she said, looking pleased to see him. "I thought I was the only one with this free period." She gestured around at the common room, empty except for a studious seventh year seated by the window and absorbed in a book. "I was all prepared for a year of very lonely Wednesday afternoons." She glanced at the book in his hand and beamed. "Are you doing the Charms essay?"

Sirius looked down at the book in his hand without enthusiasm. "I was trying to decide whether to do the essay or take a nap," he admitted.

"That's a tough decision, but I think you should skip the nap and do the essay so you can help me." She pulled a piece of parchment from her bag and unrolled it, frowning. "I have most of it done, but I'm stuck on the last bit."

Sirius took the parchment from her and read silently for a moment, then flipped through his book until he found the desired page. "Here, this is what you need to finish the last part. Also, I'd change the second paragraph a bit because you're not describing the wand movement exactly right - it's more of a little wiggle rather than a flourish." He demonstrated for her.

She looked at him skeptically. "I'm not writing 'little wiggle' in my essay," she protested. "I'm going to sound like an idiot."

"No you won't," he argued. "Flitwick will know exactly what you mean. You do have a point, though, I suppose, because that phrase has Sirius Black written all over it, and he'll know I told you to write that." He thought for a minute. "Just describe the wrist movement as a bit looser, I guess. It doesn't have the same ring as 'little wiggle,' but it will have to do."

She giggled. "We've definitely reached our quota for use of the phrase 'little wiggle' for the day." She pulled quill and ink from her bag and stretched out on the floor, writing silently for a few while occasionally consulting the book. Sirius did the same, and for a while the only sound was the turning of pages and scratching of quills. When Mary was finished, she handed her essay to Sirius for approval.

"Yeah, looks fine to me," he said, shrugging.

"Thanks," she said, waving it around to let it dry before rolling it up and placing it back in her bag, along with her quill and ink. Sirius examined his own essay, frowning slightly then crossing out and rewriting several sentences, before putting it away and returning to his chair.

"You're already done?" Mary asked, incredulous.

"I work fast," Sirius said, shrugging. "Since we've finished our work, I think we've earned a cigarette, don't you think?" He jerked his head in the direction of the 7th year seated across the room. "I'd say we could just open the window and blow the smoke outside, but he's a prefect and doesn't like me much, so it's a no go. The Astronomy Tower is really the best place, it's quite peaceful up there, but I'm far too lazy at the moment, so let's just go up to my dormitory."

He stood and offered her a hand up, and she took it after a moment's hesitation. He led the way up the stairs, pulling open the dormitory door and dropping his bag unceremoniously on the floor before pulling his cigarettes from his pocket and offering one to Mary.

"Ladies first," he said, before taking one for himself and lighting it with his wand, then opening the window a few inches. He inhaled deeply, then blew the smoke out, feeling himself relax as he watched the smoke drift out the window and mix with the golden light of the afternoon.

"I've never been in any of the boys' dormitories," Mary admitted, surveying the room with interest. "Hang on, let me guess which bed is yours." She looked around at the four poster beds, frowning in concentration, before she pointed to one triumphantly. "That's it," she said confidently.

Sirius raised his eyebrows at her. "You're right," he admitted. "What gave it away?"

"It just has a very Sirius Black feel about it," she said, grinning. "Plus, I can't see any of the others putting up motorbike posters."

Sirius grinned back. "What, you can't picture Peter driving a motorbike?"

She laughed and shook her head, her eyes continuing to rove around the room. "Is that your Quidditch team?" She pointed to the Chudley Cannons poster next to his bed. "The Cannons, is it? Are they any good?"

Sirius eyes her suspiciously. "Are you having a go at me?"

She frowned. "No, why?"

Sirius shook his head. "Oh, well they're just, I dunno, some people would consider them a bit of a joke, I suppose."

"Why?" Mary asked, interested. "Is it because their uniforms are so ugly?" She wrinkled her nose. "I don't fancy that horrible shade of orange."

"No, not because of their uniforms," Sirius said, amused. "It's because they haven't won the league in a while."

"Well that just shows you how much I know about Quidditch, which is next to nothing, if you couldn't tell. When was the last time they won?" she asked curiously.

"1892," Sirius said, smiling ruefully.

"You're joking!" She laughed and widened her eyes. "And you still support them? Why don't you switch to a team that wins a bit more often?"

"You don't just abandon your team when they don't win, Macdonald!" Sirius exclaimed passionately. "I've supported them since I was a kid, and I'm not about to stop now just because they're in a bit of a rut."

Mary held up her hands. "All right, all right, I'm sorry." She took a long drag on her cigarette, then looked at Sirius thoughtfully with her head slightly tilted to one side. "That's nice, actually, that you've stuck by your team for so long. It shows loyalty and dedication, and, I dunno, all those Hufflepuff-type traits."

"Macdonald, did you just criticize my Quidditch team, then insult me by calling me a Hufflepuff?" Sirius put out his cigarette and left it on the windowsill, then crossed his arms and fixed her with an appraising look.

Mary giggled. "Technically I didn't call you a Hufflepuff, I said you showed Hufflepuff traits," she pointed out.

"Well, that just sounds like semantics to me," Sirius argued. "I helped you with your homework and shared my cigarettes, and this is how you repay me?" He shook his head disapprovingly. "You'd better start being a bit nicer, Macdonald, otherwise I may have to ask you to leave."

She rolled her eyes, putting out her cigarette and flicking it out the window.

"Great, now you're littering," Sirius said, throwing up his hands in mock outrage. "There's the door, Macdonald." He pointed at the dormitory door. "Don't let it hit you on the way out."

"Oh, shut up," she muttered, leaning in and kissing him. When she pulled away, she laughed softly at the expression of mingled surprise and pleasure on his face.

"I suppose I won't have to kick you out of the room after all," he said, grinning.

"Well, that's good," she said, grabbing his hand and pulling him onto the bed. "This would be awkward to do down in the common room."

"Don't rule it out," Sirius said.

"Black, stop talking," Mary ordered, and he obliged.

"Padfoot, are you up here?" James called, pushing open the door and bursting into the room without waiting for a reply. "We've got to hurry if we want dinner before-" he broke off, wrinkling his nose in disgust. "Ugh, it smells like sex and cigarettes in here." He glanced at Sirius's bed where Sirius and Mary still lay, mostly covered by blankets, then his eyes traveled to their clothing strewn across the floor. "Hello, Macdonald," he said, raising his eyebrows and grinning.

"Hi, Potter," she said, tucking the blanket more tightly around herself. "I like your dormitory, although I have to admit, I was sort of expecting you to have a heart-shaped photo collage of Lily hanging on the wall."

"You know, I normally do," he said, smirking. "It fell down, and I haven't gotten around to doing a Permanent Sticking Charm on it yet."

"Moony's going to yell at you," Peter observed as he stepped through the door and the scent of cigarette smoke immediately assaulted his nostrils. "Hopefully it airs out by the time he's back." He stopped short when he noticed Mary in Sirius's bed, turning bright red and dropping his bag in surprise.

Sirius laughed at the expression on Peter's face, but Mary gave him a friendly wave. "Hello, Pettigrew," she said cheerfully. "Sorry, didn't mean to startle you." She smiled apologetically, then gestured at the pile of clothes on the floor. "D'you think you could pass me my clothes?"

Peter gaped at the assortment of clothing piled by the bed, which included a pair of pink lace knickers, and blushed even harder. After a moment, Sirius made an exasperated noise, then threw off the blankets and padded across the room to retrieve the clothing. Peter spluttered incoherently and stared determinedly down at his feet.

"Don't be such a prude, Wormtail," he said, tossing Mary's clothes onto the bed before beginning to get dressed.

"Merlin, Black, you're not shy, are you?" Mary observed, struggling to get dressed underneath the blankets.

"Not in the slightest," Sirius replied, pulling his shirt over his head and shaking his hair out of his eyes. "You can look now, by the way, Pete."

"I take it this means your free period was better than expected?" James asked, smirking.

"It certainly exceeded my expectations," Sirius agreed. "Plus, we finished the Charms essay, so all in all, not a bad Wednesday afternoon, wouldn't you say, Macdonald?"

"No complaints here," Mary said, now fully clothed and searching for her shoes. "Except I do feel a bit bad. I'm afraid Pettigrew may never be able to look at us the same again."

Peter, still red in the face, shook his head. "It's fine, I just wasn't, you know, expecting it," he muttered, not meeting her eye.

"We'll hang a tie on the door or something to give you a heads up next time," she assured him.

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "Does that mean we're going to make this a weekly thing?"

She shrugged. "Why not? Seems like the best use of our Wednesday afternoons, don't you think?" She glanced at James. "Is Lily down in the common room?"

James shook his head. "No, she stopped by the library."

"Excellent. I'd better go, then, so she doesn't see me coming out of the boys' dormitory and ask a bunch of questions."

James frowned. "You're not ashamed of being with Sirius, are you? Because he is a beautiful, beautiful man, and any girl who has the privilege of shagging him should consider herself lucky."

"Aww, thanks, Prongs," Sirius said, nodding appreciatively.

Mary rolled her eyes. "Honestly, sometimes I wonder if you only asked out Lily all those times to hide your true love for Black. Anyway, it's not that I'm ashamed, I just know she wouldn't approve, but as I don't really give a monkey's what she thinks, I'm going to go ahead and do what I like. I just don't feel like listening to her lecture me, that's all." She headed for the door, calling "See you lot later!" over her shoulder as she went.

"And to think I was excited about getting my Charms essay done and beating Prongs at chess during our free period this morning," Peter said, shaking his head wonderingly. "You know, Padfoot sometimes I wish I had your life."

Thursday, September 9, 1976

"Hullo, Moony." Sirius, James, and Peter stood clustered around Remus's bed in the hospital wing, exhausted but cheerful. Sirius clutched a bar of chocolate, which he deposited on the small bedside table before sitting down on the edge of the bed.

Remus opened his eyes, blinking several times before croaking out a greeting that was barely audible. The bright autumn sun streamed through the window, illuminating the pallor of his skin, the dark circles under his eyes, and the fresh cuts and bruises on his face. He smiled, then immediately grimaced when the motion caused one of his cuts to begin to bleed again.

"How're you feeling?" James asked, plopping down in the chair next to the bed and folding his hands behind his head.

"Oh, just bloody peachy," Remus replied wryly.

"Okay, how bad is it this time?" Sirius said. "Is it got run over by the Knight Bus bad, attacked by a dragon bad, or me drinking my weight in firewhisky and falling down the dormitory stairs then waking up in my underwear bad?"

Remus thought for a minute. "Third one, I think," he said, laughing softly, then frowning and touching his ribs gingerly.

"I took excellent notes for you today," James said quickly, attempting to distract Remus from his pain.

"It's true, he barely even stared at Evans because he was too busy writing things down," Peter added.

"Thanks, Prongs," Remus said, sounding slightly more cheerful. "I love it when it's your turn to take notes because you always draw such amusing doodles."

"Oh, this one is excellent," Sirius assured him. "Show him, Prongs."

James dutifully pulled a piece of parchment from his bag and unrolled it, revealing a page of detailed notes and a hastily-scrawled doodle of a stag flinging Bertie Botts off his antlers for a shaggy dog to catch, while a rat watched and applauded.

"Well, this is just silly," Remus said with a slight smile. "Rats can't clap, everyone knows that." His face fell, and he glanced around quickly before speaking. "Did I do that?" He pointed at a red mark on Sirius's neck.

Sirius looked confused for a moment, then laughed. "No, Moony, you're a very gentle lover."

Remus let out an exasperated sigh. "No, really. It's fine, I'm not going to get upset, I just, you know, like to know."

"We understand that, and wouldn't have a problem with telling you if anything goes wrong, except then you spend the next week apologizing for something you have literally no control over, and that's just a bloody waste of time," Sirius said with a shrug. "It doesn't matter anyway, because this really wasn't you." He smirked, then gestured at his neck. "This is from Macdonald."

James nodded appreciatively and Peter grinned despite blushing slightly at the memory, but Remus raised his eyebrows in surprise and said, "Oh?"

"That's right, we never had time to tell you," James said, and he and Sirius took turns describing the events of the previous afternoon, with Peter chiming in occasionally to add to the story. When Madam Pomfrey came to check on Remus, the four boys were laughing so hard that she had to clear her throat loudly to get their attention.  
"Now really, boys," she chided, striding briskly across the room to hand Remus a cup of potion.

"Sorry, Madam Pomfrey, didn't mean to be so loud," Sirius said, grinning at her. "It's all Remus's fault, though. He keeps telling us the dirtiest jokes, and we can't help but laugh."

"I'm sure," she said, arms crossed disapprovingly, but her stern demeanor did not reach her eyes.

"Here, we brought you this," James said, pulling a chocolate bar from his pocket and handing it to her.

"Thank you, boys," she replied, accepting the chocolate bar with a small smile before bending down to adjust a bandage on Remus's arm. "How are you feeling, dear?" she asked kindly.

"A bit better," Remus said, and Madam Pomfrey nodded approvingly as she noted the slight color that had returned to his cheeks.

"Madam Pomfrey, you're a marvel, you know that?" Sirius observed, watching her dab salve onto a cut above Remus's eye. "Look at that, he didn't even flinch. You have such gentle hands, doesn't she, Remus?" He met his friend's eye, completely straight faced.

James and Peter both looked at the ground, trying desperately to maintain neutral expressions. Remus turned bright red and glared at Sirius, then choked out through gritted teeth, "Yes, I suppose she does."

Madam Pomfrey appeared slightly confused, but she smiled appreciatively at Sirius. "Thanks, you're kind to say so. I do try." She gave Remus one last appraising look, then nodded. "I'll be back in a bit to reapply that salve, but you should be all set to leave in a few hours." She bustled away, waving at the four Marauders as she went. As soon as she had disappeared, they burst into hysterical laughter.

"I hate you so much," Remus said, torn between amusement and embarrassment.

"Yeah, yeah," Sirius said, pulling himself together and passing Remus the chocolate bar. "Shut up and eat your chocolate."


	4. Chapter 4

Wednesday, September 29, 1976

"Guess who asked me to go into Hogsmeade?" Mary set down her textbook and looked over at Sirius, smiling wickedly.

"Who?" Sirius ripped off a tiny piece of parchment and balled it up, then tossed it at Mary, trying to land it down the front of her shirt.

"Stop that," she complained when the parchment missed its intended target and instead bounced off her arm.

"Hang on, I've almost got it," Sirius said, frowning in concentration. "It should be easy enough, with how many buttons you've left undone. That would be an automatic detention if McGonagall saw it." He aimed again, then punched his fist in the air triumphantly as his piece of parchment dropped neatly down into Mary's cleavage.

"Yeah, well, a lot of the things I do would be an automatic detention if McGonagall saw," she said, scowling as she fished the parchment out of her shirt. "Anyway, I've never known you to complain about the way I dress."

"Oh, I'm not complaining, just making an observation," Sirius assured her, attempting a toss from behind his back and miraculously succeeding.

"Knock it off, Black." Mary rummaged around in her shirt before retrieving the parchment and flicking it at Sirius's face. "Do you want to hear what I was going to say or not?"

"Fine," Sirius sighed, reluctantly throwing the rest of his parchment bits into the fire. "All right, who asked you out?"

She glanced sideways at him and smirked. "Dan Dingle," she said, giggling.

"You're kidding!" Sirius roared with laughter, then stared at her open mouthed, torn between amusement and disgust. "Does he honestly think you're in his league? That bloke is possibly the biggest tosser in the entire school."

"I'm not sure I'd say he's the biggest tosser in the school," she said thoughtfully.

He raised his eyebrows skeptically. "If it's not Dingle, who is it?"

She grinned. "That prat Sirius Black. He's the biggest tosser I've ever met."

Sirius rolled his eyes."If I'm such a tosser, then why do you spend every Wednesday afternoon with me?" He paused. "Hang on, you said no, right?"

"Of course I said no. He sells firewhisky to second years at an exorbitant rate, and I'm pretty sure he's never heard of deodorant." She wrinkled her nose. "Still, I did feel a bit bad. He seemed really disappointed."

Sirius shrugged, unconcerned. "He'll get over it. And if he doesn't, well, he deserves it, doesn't he?"

"I suppose," she said. She hesitated for a minute before she asked, "You wouldn't be upset, would you? If I said yes?"

He looked at her quizzically. "Why would I be upset? Confused? Yes. Disgusted? Yes. Seriously questioning your judgement? Also yes. But no, I wouldn't be upset."

She shrugged. "All right, just making sure."

He opened his textbook and returned to his half-completed essay. "Now come on, let's power through this essay so we have enough time to shag and eat Remus's chocolate."

After twenty minutes of silent, productive writing, Sirius looked up from his essay and poked Mary with his quill.

"Hmm?" she asked distractedly, turning a page in her textbook.

"I was thinking, maybe we should come up with some ground rules. Or no, rules might be the wrong word. Maybe guidelines?"

She closed her textbook, using a bit of spare parchment to save her page, and looked up at him. "Guidelines about what?"

He gestured vaguely at the two of them. "This. Our Wednesday, er, arrangement. So we're both on the same page, you know? Because I would never want you to miss out on your dream date with Dan Dingle on my account."

She laughed. "I don't think 'dream date' and 'Dan Dingle' really belong in the same sentence, but I suppose I see what you mean." She folded her hands in her lap and looked at him expectantly. "Go on, then. What should these guidelines be?"

"Well, first, we should both agree that we're not dating, we're only shagging," he began.

"We've already agreed to that," she argued.

"Yes, but we never agreed on an end goal," Sirius pointed out.

She frowned. "We don't have an end goal, do we?"

"No, we don't, and that's how we should keep it, don't you think? I don't want to do this with the idea that in a couple months it might turn into something more, because I don't want something more, now or in a couple months, and if that's not the way you feel then we'd better stop now before it gets messy and dramatic, because I'm messy and dramatic enough all on my own." He fixed her with a piercing look. "Are we in agreement, Macdonald?"

She nodded. "We are."

Sirius grinned. "Excellent. I also think we need to agree that if either of us starts to feel differently at any point, we have to stop our Wednesday afternoon dalliances immediately, all right?"

Mary pouted. "But I don't want to stop our Wednesday dalliances," she protested.

"Then don't fall for me. It shouldn't be difficult - if you start to have feelings for me, just think about what an enormous tosser I am, and it should cure you in no time." He grinned. "Right, what else?"

Mary toyed with a lock of hair absently. "Hmm… Oh, I know! Absolutely no hand holding." She made a face.

Sirius nodded adamantly. "Agreed. It's hard to do things one handed, and your palms get all sweaty."

"Exactly!" Mary exclaimed. "How come nobody else is bothered by that?"

"Cause everybody else is stupid," Sirius said with a shrug. "I'd also like to propose a ban on Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop. I can't stand the way it smells in there."

"I know what you mean!" Mary said enthusiastically. "It smells like raging teenage hormones and peppermint tea, which is a terrible combination. The place is overrated. If I wanted to watch people snog, I'd, well, I wouldn't go to a tea shop, that's for sure."

"Good, that's settled then," Sirius said with satisfaction. "Next, I think we should establish that we're both free to see other people whenever we like, except, of course, on Wednesdays."

"Seems reasonable," Mary replied. "Now, what if we want to, er, see each other on a day that isn't Wednesday?"

Sirius grinned. "I don't see why we should deprive ourselves of the pleasure of each other's company." He thought for a minute. "No bloody pet names - in fact, let's stick to surnames, shall we?"

"You mean you're not going to be calling me Mare-bear?" She pretended you vomit. "I honestly should have known it wasn't going to work with Stebbins the first time he used that ridiculous nickname, but I suppose I tried to focus on his good qualities."

"Because he has so many of those," Sirius retorted sarcastically.

"Shut up, Black. Oh, I've thought of another one: no gifts. I mean it - no Valentines gifts, no Christmas gifts, no flowers 'just because,' none of that."

"Bloody hell, you have no idea how on board am I with this," Sirius said. "I hate picking out gifts for people - I never know what to get, so half the time I end up making Remus decide for me." He smiled, then eyed Mary suspiciously. "Hang on. You're not just saying this to test me or something, are you? Because that's just the sort of thing a girl would do, and if you're secretly expecting me to still get you gifts, and are going to be angry when I don't, well, you can count on being angry."

She laughed. "I have no ulterior motives, Black. We won't expect gifts from each other, and that's the end of that. Should we agree to any other guidelines, or should we try to finish these essays, do you think?"

Sirius tapped his fingers against the arm of his chair absently. "I think the only other thing is that I don't want to have to lie to you."

She frowned. "What would you lie to me about?"

"Oh, you know, the usual. About being with other girls, or about where I am and what I'm up to, or whatever else you might ask me that I don't necessarily want to talk about. So ask me whatever you like, but just know that you might not like the answer. And I also reserve the right not to answer, and that's not personal, it's just, you know, I'm a mysterious bloke and I like it that way. And I'll extend the same courtesy to you. All right?"

Mary turned this over in her mind for a moment, wearing an expression of bemused puzzlement. Finally she nodded. "Yeah, all right. Should we, I dunno, shake on it or something?"

Sirius didn't reply, but simply extended his hand, and Mary shook it vigorously, amused.

"Pleasure doing business with you, Black," she said.

"Likewise," Sirius replied. "All right, are you about finished with this essay?" When she looked down at her parchment dubiously, he sighed and held out his hand. "Give it here. We don't have all day, Macdonald."


	5. Chapter 5

Wednesday, October 6, 1976

"You know, I think we forgot to put the tie on the door," Mary observed, taking one last drag on her cigarette before dropping it into an empty butterbeer bottle on the floor by the window.

Sirius shrugged, dropping his cigarette on top of Mary's. "It's fine, they all know what to expect on Wednesdays by now." He got a running start, then launched himself onto his bed, landing with a thump and knocking his pillow onto the floor.

"You're going to break the bed one of these days," Mary observed, rolling her eyes as she slipped off her shoes and sat down on the bed next to him. "Then everyone is going to think I had something to do with it, when really it's because you insist on throwing yourself onto the bed like a six-year-old every time."

Sirius rolled onto his side and looked at Mary, grinning. "I mean, the other day we did almost break the bed, so even if me throwing myself on it ended up breaking it, it would only be the last straw after our vigorous shagging caused it repeated damage."

She laughed. "I don't think I like the phrase 'vigorous shagging.'" She pulled the curtain shut around the four poster bed.

"Hmmm," Sirius mused. "How about strenuous sex? Enthusiastic love making? Frantic fucking?"

She whacked him lightly with a pillow. "You really love the sound of your own voice, don't you?"

Sirius opened his mouth to reply, but stopped when he heard the sound of the dormitory door opening and shutting. He and Mary looked at each other quizzically as they listened to someone pad across the floor and then drop onto the bed with a sigh.

"Moony?" Sirius asked, peering through the gap in the hangings around his bed.

"Oh, hi," Remus replied, lifting his head from the pillow a few inches, then letting it drop back down heavily. "What are you - oh, right, you have a free period. Shit, sorry, is Mary in here with you?"

Mary pulled open the hangings and waved. "Hello, Remus," she said brightly.

Remus rubbed his eyes, then stifled a yawn. "Sorry," he repeated. "I forgot you'd be up here. I'm so bloody tired I must have missed the tie on the door."

"No, you didn't, we were just too lazy to bother with it," Mary assured him.

"We figured we'd be done before anyone got back," Sirius added. "Why are you back so early?"

"I couldn't keep my eyes open in class," he explained. "But I was still listening. Why don't professors ever understand that?" He sighed in frustration. "I was instructed to go to the hospital wing, but I didn't see the point, so I just came here instead."

"Maybe you should have gone to the hospital wing," Mary said, looking at him with concern. "You look half dead."

Sirius stood and strode across the room to stand next to Remus's bed. He eyed Remus critically for a moment, then shook his head. "Nah, you're not quite to half dead yet," he decided. "I consider myself an expert at assessing Moony's level of deadness."

"You consider yourself an expert at most things," Remus pointed out.

"That's true," Sirius conceded, then frowned as Remus attempted to sit up. "What are you doing?" he demanded, crossing his arms in disapproval.

"I'm going to leave you two alone and go down to the common room," Remus said, hoisting himself into a seated position.

"Don't be thick, of course you're not," Sirius retorted, returning to his bed and extending a hand to help Mary up. "Come on, Macdonald, we're relocating."

"No, really, I can go," Remus insisted. "I don't want to intrude."

"Shut up, Moony," Sirius said firmly. "If you move from that bed, I will personally steal and consume your entire chocolate stash."

"You already do that on a regular basis," Remus argued, but he slumped back down again, seeming to admit defeat.

Sirius ignored the comment. "Good. Now, do you need anything before we go?"

"No, I'm fine," Remus said, his eyes already half closed.

Sirius ignored this as well, opening Remus's trunk and selecting a chocolate bar which he placed on the bedside table. He then poured a glass of water and set it down next to the chocolate bar before hesitating for a moment as if trying to remember something.

"Which silly Muggle book are you reading these days?" Sirius asked.

"It's not silly," Remus protested.

"Yes it is," Sirius insisted. "Wait, this must be it." He pulled a battered copy of The Great Gatsby from Remus's bag and placed it with the chocolate bar and glass of water. "In case you get bored later but don't want to get up," he explained.

"Thanks, Padfoot," Remus said, his eyes now fully closed.

"Don't mention it. We'll bring you back something from dinner, and don't bother saying you're not hungry because that's rubbish and I won't stand for it." Sirius turned to Macdonald. "Ready?" He headed for the door, then stopped and quickly backtracked to Remus's trunk. "I almost forgot," he said, rummaging around and pulling out an old cardigan.

"What's that for?" Mary asked curiously.

"Oh, it's like the tie on the door, except not for shagging," Sirius replied, grinning. "When we see this jumper on the door, it means Remus is in the dormitory sleeping. Now, what do you think - empty classroom on the second floor, or the good broom cupboard?"

She looked at him quizzically. "There's a good broom cupboard? What makes it better than the others?"

"Absolutely nothing," Remus replied drowsily. "They are all exactly the same. Sirius is just mad."

"Don't listen to him, he's delirious from exhaustion," Sirius said, leading the way out of the room. "Come on, Macdonald. You're going to see for yourself why this broom cupboard is superior to the others."

"Bye, Lupin. I hope you feel better," Mary said, following Sirius.

Remus acknowledged her well-wishes with a slight wave, then said softly, his tone more resigned than accusatory, "I know you were smoking in here again, Padfoot."

Sirius pretended not to hear, simply waving over his shoulder and calling, "Sleep well, Moony!" right before he stepped through the door.

As they walked, Mary glanced sideways at him, smiling slightly.

"Why are you looking at me like that, Macdonald?" Sirius asked suspiciously.

She shrugged. "No reason."

Sirius shrugged. "If you say so, weirdo." Having reached their destination, he pulled open the door to the broom cupboard and gestured for her to go inside. "After you."

Still smiling, she stepped through the door and pulled him in after her.


	6. Chapter 6

Wednesday, October 20, 1976

Sirius lay sprawled in front of the fire, munching a biscuit and contemplating the textbook in front of him with distaste. He looked up when he heard footsteps, grinning as Mary dropped her bag and sat down in the chair closest to his spot on the floor.

"Hello, Macdonald," he said, offering her a biscuit. "I got us some snacks."

She took the biscuit without comment and took a large bite, scowling.

"Thanks, Black, it was nice of you to be so thoughtful and go out of your way to get these biscuits for us," Sirius said in a falsetto.

She sighed in exasperation. "Sorry. Thanks. I'm just annoyed." She ate the other half of her cookie and slid around in her seat so that her feet draped over the side. "Lily just finished lecturing me," she explained, rolling her eyes. "She only stopped because she had to go to Ancient Runes, but she was nearly late."

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "What was she lecturing you about?"

"She disapproves of the way I've been choosing to spend my Wednesday afternoons," Mary said irritably.

"Oh," Sirius said, nodding. "Does she think you should have stuck with Stebbins, then?"

"No, that's the thing, she didn't even like Stebbins!" Mary burst out indignantly. "She was always making comments implying that I could do better." She sighed again. "She just thinks, I dunno, I shouldn't be shagging someone I'm not in a relationship with."

"But you don't want a relationship," Sirius pointed out.

"That's exactly what I told her, except she seems to think I'm incapable of figuring out what I want without her help," Mary said, taking another biscuit and stuffing the entire thing into her mouth.  
"That sounds like Evans," Sirius said. "But I thought you didn't give a monkey's what she thinks?"

Mary took a moment to swallow her biscuit before replying. "I don't," she said finally, brushing crumbs from her lips. "I'd just like to be able to have a casual conversation with my best friend without being told what I should and shouldn't do, that's all." She toyed with one of her curls absently, winding it around and around her finger. "She claims she's worried I'm going to get hurt, which is fair, I suppose, but bloody hell, I can look out for myself." She swung her legs down from the arm of the chair and stood, leaning against the back of the chair.

"She doesn't give you nearly enough credit," Sirius agreed. "You somehow managed to date Stebbins for almost a year without laughing every time you looked at that funny-looking ginger prat. I'd say anyone who can do that is capable of pretty much anything."

"Oh, shut up, Black," Mary said, reaching for a third biscuit. "I think she's going to try talking to you about it tonight."

He laughed. "She can say what she likes, but she's wasting her bloody time. Doesn't she realize by now that if you tell me not to do something, it just makes me want to do it even more?" He stood, stretching, then slipped his hands into his pockets and surveyed Mary for a moment, amused. "What do you say we put off doing our homework for a bit?"

"Why?" she asked, her mouth full of the rest of her third biscuit.

"Well, you just seem like you could benefit from taking out a bit of your aggression before trying to accomplish anything academic," he replied, shrugging. "Unless you'd rather continue eating your feelings, in which case I'll have to take another trip to the kitchens, because we're out of biscuits."

She smiled ruefully. "Oh. Right. Sorry." She stood, sending biscuit crumbs cascading to the floor as she did so. "I suppose taking out some aggression wouldn't hurt," she conceded.

"But what if I want it to hurt?" Sirius asked, smirking.

Mary laughed, then grabbed his hand and steered him toward the staircase. "You're a freak, Black, you know that?"

Later in the evening Sirius had returned to his previous spot in front of the fire and was now engaged in a game of wizard's chess with Peter. He frowned in concentration, then ordered his bishop to capture one of Peter's knights.

"How do you like that, Wormtail?" Sirius exclaimed triumphantly.

"Well, I'm not opposed to it," Peter replied before giving a direction and watching his castle ruthlessly capture Sirius's queen.

"Fuck!" Sirius shouted, startling several first year girls sitting nearby. "I hate this bloody game."

Someone nearby cleared her throat, and Sirius looked around to find Lily standing over them, her arms crossed and a determined expression on her face.

"Sorry to interrupt," she began, before promptly being interrupted by Sirius.

"It's all right," he said, rearranging his long limbs so that he sat cross-legged on the floor. "Pete is absolutely annihilating me, so I don't mind the distraction. To what do I owe the pleasure, Evans?"

She took a deep breath. "Well, I'm sure Mary mentioned the conversation we had earlier, or, I dunno, did she? I don't actually know how much talking you two get around to doing, or if you just hop straight into bed at the first possible moment."

Sirius sighed and adopted a disdainful expression. "Don't be crude, Evans," he said primly. "We don't just shag. Most days we do our homework first."

Lily looked slightly taken aback, but plowed on. "Right. Well, in any case, I talked to Mary earlier, and I'm going to tell you what I told her. I don't think this, er, arrangement is good for either of you." She paused, as if expecting him to argue, but when he simply looked at her expectantly she continued. "You might think it's a laugh, just casually shagging someone without any sort of relationship or commitment, and it might be fine at first, but sooner or later one of you is bound to end up getting hurt. I don't like to make assumptions-"

"Oh, sure you do," Sirius put in, but Lily ignored him.

"But I think it's safe to assume that Mary is more likely to be the one who ends up hurt, and I can't just stand by and watch my friend continue to put herself in this unhealthy situation. So, in short, I think you should either be in an actual relationship, which, let's face it, would be a disaster, or just cease and desist and go back to being casual acquaintances who occasionally flirt with each other." She stared at him defiantly, slightly out of breath after her lengthy pronouncement.

"That's funny," Sirius said, flicking his hair out of his face.

She frowned. "What's funny?"

"Well, it's just that I don't recall asking for your opinion, yet here you are offering it."

She blushed."I'm just - I mean - listen, Black," she spluttered.

"No, you listen," he said firmly. "I know Macdonald already told you what she thinks of your advice, so I really don't understand why you thought talking to me was going to yield a different answer, but it doesn't matter, I'll go ahead and reiterate her sentiments. I have no desire to date Macdonald, or anyone else, for that matter, and she feels the same way. I also have no desire to stop shagging her, and again, she is in agreement with me on this. There's not much more to say on the subject, so I will end by advising you to kindly fuck off and mind your own bloody business." He smiled contemptuously at her, then made to return to the chess game.  
"You're just angry because you know I'm right, but you don't want to admit it!" she exclaimed, her hands now clenched on her hips.

Sirius shook his head. "No. I don't actually care a bit what you think, to be honest. You've been telling me I'm an obnoxious, conceited tosser for the past five years, and I haven't lost a single night of sleep over it, so why would you think I give a shit what you think about my love life? No, what makes me angry is that you're always banging on about how James and I are so full of ourselves, and yet you have the nerve, nay, the audacity, to believe you can stop me and Macdonald from doing what we want just because you don't think it's a good idea?"

"I never-" she began, but Sirius held up a hand to stop her.

"Don't interrupt me now, Evans, I'm on a fucking roll. Honestly, who do you think you are? When's the last time you had an actual conversation with me, other than to tell me off for smoking in the common room or to ask me to pass the pumpkin juice at dinner? You've never bothered to get to know me, so how the hell are you qualified to make an assessment on what is or isn't good for me, or to make the assumption that sooner or later I am going to break your friend's heart? I'll go ahead and answer my own question, to save you the trouble: you're not at all qualified! Yet here you are, on your high horse, acting as if you know best, and we're privileged to be receiving such sage advice. But as I already mentioned, I am not remotely interested in your opinion, so you can take your sage advice and shove it up your arse." He eyed her haughtily for another moment, then returned his attention to the chess game and said with dignity, "Knight to E5."

Lily stood staring at him in open-mouthed silence for a full 30 seconds. She then looked from Peter to Remus, as if expecting them to come to her defense, but Peter was now gazing at Sirius in unabashed admiration, and Remus had kept his nose determinedly in his book throughout the entire argument, so she quickly gave up all hope. Instead, she narrowed her eyes at Sirius and fixed him with her nastiest glare before stomping away across the room.

"That was brilliant!" Peter exclaimed when Lily was out of earshot. "I feel like

I should applaud. "

"Don't," Sirius advised him. "Having your friends clap for you is decidedly uncool."

"Prongs isn't going to be pleased when he finds out you shouted at her like that," Remus pointed out, finally looking up from his book.

Sirius shrugged, looking entirely unconcerned. "It was worth it. I got to use the words 'nay' and 'audacity' in the same sentence." He glanced down at the chess board and frowned. "I just fucked myself royally, didn't I?"

"Yup," Peter said gleefully, ordering one of his pieces to checkmate Sirius's king.


	7. Chapter 7

Wednesday, November 17, 1976

"I don't think I have any homework today," Mary said brightly, flopping down into the chair across from Sirius.

"Neither do I," Sirius said, grinning. "What shall we do with all of our extra time?" He glanced in the direction of the dormitory staircase then looked at her questioningly.

"Oh," Mary said, frowning slightly. "I, er, can't today." She raised her eyebrows meaningfully

"Why?" Sirius asked, nonplussed, then his eyes widened in comprehension. "Oh."

"Yeah," she said. "Sorry."

He shrugged. "You don't need to apologize. It's not really something you have much control over, is it?" He thought for a minute. "Want to go throw Dungbombs off the Astronomy Tower instead, then?"

She laughed. "You know, I think I do."

"All right, hang on and I'll go get the Dungbombs." He dashed up the stairs to the dormitory, returning a few minutes later wearing his jacket and carrying a bulging bag.

"Let's go," he said, giving her a hand up and then leading the way out through the portrait hole.

"So, is this what you usually do when you're bored?" she asked as they strolled leisurely down the corridor.

"Among other things," Sirius replied. "It's also fun to drop them from the top of the staircase above the Great Hall. It's a laugh when you throw them at people and then duck out of sight, and then they look around all confused trying to figure out what just happened." He chuckled softly as he pictured it. "But they go the furthest off the Astronomy Tower, and we can smoke while we're up there."

"Boys are so strange sometimes," she observed, amused. "I would never think 'Hmm, I'm bored, what to do? Oh I know, I'll drop exploding wads of shit from high places.'"

"Well, it does sound incredibly juvenile and silly when you put it that way," Sirius admitted. "But then again, sometimes the most juvenile and silly activities are the most fun. Don't knock it 'till you try it, Macdonald." He raised his eyebrows. "Besides, I'd say it sounds much better than reading about how wand length corresponds to how big a wizard's knob is, or whatever the hell those Witch Weekly articles are about."

An unexpected burst of laughter escaped Mary's lips. "Is that really what you think Witch Weekly is about?" she asked incredulously.

Sirius shrugged. "I dunno, I figured it would be something like that for girls to find it so interesting."

"Because the only topic we could possibly find interesting is male genitalia?"

"Well, now you're making me sound juvenile and silly again," Sirius protested, grinning.

"All I'm saying is that I've seen Professor Sprout reading Witch Weekly at breakfast. Do you really think she'd sit there in plain view of everyone, reading about whether you can tell how well-endowed a bloke is by measuring his wand?" She eyed him skeptically.

"Why not? What, are you saying that professors are completely asexual, that just because they've chosen to spend their lives educating young witches and wizards that they're not allowed to have a sex drive? Because if so, that's just unfair, Macdonald, not to mention extremely impractical." He smirked at her as he opened the door to the Astronomy Tower and gestured for her to go first.

She rolled her eyes. "Black, it is exhausting to have a conversation with you, you know that?" She stepped through the door and walked to the edge of the tower, leaning idly against the cold stone. "At some point I'm going to force you to read Witch Weekly so you can be informed about what sort of content it does and doesn't contain."

"All right, fair enough," Sirius conceded, pulling his cigarettes from his pocket and offering her one before selecting one for himself. "At least Remus won't have to tell us off for smoking in the dormitory today."

"Poor Remus," Mary commented, releasing a long stream of smoke and watching it drift away.

Sirius waved his hand dismissively. "He's fine. He doesn't actually care, he's just sort of chosen it as the one rule to crack down on so he feels he's doing his due diligence as a prefect and doesn't feel as guilty about all the other rule breaking and shenanigans going unpunished."

"You do get away with murder, don't you?" Mary said affectionately.

"We really do," Sirius agreed. "It was honestly the best day of my life when Remus told us he'd been made a prefect. Dumbledore is such an optimistic bloke, he must have hoped Remus would be able to stop us from wreaking our usual havoc. He was, obviously, sorely mistaken." He grinned. "I suppose Evans was meant to pick up Remus's slack."

"She does take her prefect responsibilities seriously," Mary agreed. "I think she'll end up Head Girl."

"Oh, there's no question," Sirius said. He tapped the end of his cigarette against the stone railing to dislodge the ash, then took a long drag. "If Snape is picked for Head Boy, I'm fucking dropping out of school."

"I'm so glad they're not friends anymore," Mary confessed. "I know losing his friendship was hard for Lily, but he's just a bloody terrible person."

"And this is why we get along so well, Macdonald," Sirius said, dropping his cigarette butt onto the ground and grinding it beneath his boot. "We agree on the important things."

"We agree on most things, really," Mary replied.

"Except what's within the mysterious pages of Witch Weekly," Sirius said, smiling slyly. "Right, are you ready?"

She finished her cigarette, then nodded. "You'll have to show me, though. Can't say I've ever used a Dungbomb before."

He stared at her. "Never?"

She shook her head. "Nope."

He shook his head in disbelief. "You're joking! James and I carry a couple with us at all times. You never know when they're going to come in handy." He pulled a Dungbomb from the bag and handed it to her with a dramatic flourish. "It would be my honor to guide you through the detonation of your very first Dungbomb."

She accepted it hesitantly, holding it away from her body as if it might explode with the slightest provocation.

"You don't need to hold it like that, there's a protective spell that prevents it from going off unless you throw it," Sirius explained, amused by her obvious trepidation. "What I like to do is pick a spot on the ground, and see how close to it I can get."

Mary peered over the edge and scanned the ground far below them. "I'm going to try for that weird rock down there."

"Good choice. All right, now lean over and just let it drop. You don't need to throw it hard, because it'll pick up a lot of speed on the way down."

Mary followed his instructions, watching avidly as the Dungbomb hurtled to the ground. When it finally hit the grass and exploded with a satisfying splat, she let out an involuntary squeal of excitement.

"Nice one, Macdonald," Sirius said, nodding appreciatively.

"I didn't hit the rock," she said regretfully.

"Nah, but that was pretty damn close for your first time," Sirius assured her, pulling a Dungbomb from the bag for himself. "I'll try for that same rock." He leaned over the edge, frowning in concentration, then released his Dungbomb and watched its descent.

"See that, Macdonald?" he crowed as it splattered all over the rock. "Perfect aim."

"Let me try again," she said, reaching for the bag. "I think I can get it this time." She took aim and let her Dungbomb fall, biting her lip nervously as she tracked its journey to the ground.

"You've done it!" Sirius exclaimed excitedly as her Dungbomb exploded on top of the spot Sirius's had landed. "You're a natural. It took me ages to get that accurate."

"Call it beginner's luck," she said. "It's way more fun than it has any right to be, isn't it?"

"I tried to tell you," Sirius said, grabbing another Dungbomb from the bag. "This time, we're going to see how far we can throw it." He extended his hand over his head and sent the Dungbomb flying. It went forward a good distance before beginning to drop, then eventually hitting the ground next to several trees.

"Nice throw," Mary said, helping herself to another Dungbomb and preparing to throw hers. "I'll be lucky to get it half that far." When her Dungbomb came to rest at least ten feet short of Sirius's, he shook his head disapprovingly.

"Come on, Macdonald, you can do better than that. It's all in the wrist movement." He demonstrated, extending his wrist back, then flicking it forward in a graceful arc. "Here, try it again." He pulled a Dungbomb from the bag and handed it to her, then scrutinized her form as she mimicked his wrist motion and sent it soaring. "Not bad," he said, as it came to rest only a foot from his own Dungbomb.

"How'd you get so good at this?" she asked. "Is this what you and James did every weekend as little first years, before you discovered firewhisky and he discovered Lily?"

Sirius laughed. "Nah, I was doing this before Hogwarts, actually. I used to sit on the roof outside my room and throw Dungbombs with my brother." He clenched his hand into a fist reflexively and frowned. "He, well, he used to be a lot less of a prat."

"That's fair," Mary said, experimenting with throwing a Dungbomb with her left hand and grimacing at the result. "I always wanted a sibling growing up. It was dead boring being alone all the time." She fell silent for a minute, studying Sirius's face. "But I dunno, Lily's sister is a spiteful, nosy bitch, and from what I can tell, your brother's not exactly the easiest person to get along with, so maybe I was better off being an only child."

Sirius did not reply immediately. Instead, he pulled out a Dungbomb and threw it as hard as he could. He watched disinterestedly as it dropped and spattered against the grass near the lake. Finally, he replied, "It doesn't necessarily matter if you're born an only child or not, because sometimes your family ends up being people you're not related to." He looked at her and grinned.

She met his gaze, thinking back to the day the previous June when she and Sirius had sat by the lake and talked about their respective family problems. She felt oddly touched that he had remembered and taken the advice she'd given him to heart.

"That's right," she said, smiling back at him. "I suppose we're lucky to have the friends we do."

"I suppose we are," Sirius agreed. "Even if they tell us off for smoking in the dormitory or shagging people we aren't dating or not wanting to talk through Quidditch plays every second of every day."

Mary looked at Sirius, noticing how his dark hair fell into his eyes and the way his leather jacket perfectly hugged his lean frame, and suddenly she felt she couldn't go another moment without kissing him. She had the wherewithal to wipe her hands on her trousers before she threw herself at Sirius, tangling her fingers in his hair and pressing herself against him.

"Shit, Macdonald," he muttered, wrapping his arms around her and sounding pleased with himself. "I thought we were going to have a respectable, non-sexual afternoon of Dungbomb throwing."

"I've changed my mind," she said, sliding her hand under his shirt and tracing the raised scar on his chest.

"It's just, you said you can't, you know, today," Sirius insisted, sliding a hand into her back pocket despite his protests.

"It's not all about me," she replied, dropping to her knees. "Now don't talk for a while."

"Shutting up now," Sirius said breathlessly, closing his eyes and sighing with pleasure.


	8. Chapter 8

Wednesday, December 1, 1976

"Are you going into Hogsmeade on Saturday?" Mary propped herself up on one arm and looked at Sirius inquisitively.

"I dunno, probably," Sirius replied, rearranging the pillows and leaning back against them. "Why, are you hoping I'll bring you to Madam Puddifoot's?" He flashed her a wry smile. "Because if so, you're going to be sorely disappointed."

Mary rolled her eyes. "No, of course not. I just thought maybe we could meet up at the Three Broomsticks? Not just us two, obviously, but everyone."

"I don't see why not," Sirius said, shrugging. "Wait, what's the date on Saturday?"

"The fourth?" Mary said, nonplussed.

Sirius thought for a minute, frowning in concentration as he counted the days until the full moon. "Actually, I don't think I'll be going into Hogsmeade that day after all," he said finally. "There's probably an 80% chance I won't make it. And before you ask, it has nothing to do with you, it's just one of those things that I'd have to kill you if I explained."

Mary shrugged. "All right, weirdo, I suppose I won't see you in Hogsmeade." She rested her head against the pillows and sighed. "I don't think Lily will be joining me either."

Sirius draped an arm around Mary's shoulders casually and pulled her to him. "Is she giving you a hard time again?" he asked, tugging on one of her curls.

"A bit," Mary admitted, swatting his hand away. "It appears she was under the impression that she would be able to change my mind if she simply left it alone for a while then came back stronger than ever." She turned her head to face Sirius, unintentionally tossing her curls into his face. "Obviously she was quite wrong."

"Obviously," Sirius repeated, pulling a hair from his mouth. "Ugh, Macdonald, you've got your hair all in my face again."

"Sorry," she said, rolling away again. "I, er, may have shouted at her a bit."

Sirius widened his eyes, impressed. "I don't think I've ever seen you get angry, Macdonald. Properly angry, I mean."

"No, I usually can't be bothered to get properly angry," she mused. "I just don't care enough, if that makes sense." She thought for a second, twirling a curl around her finger idly. "I think the last time I got really angry and told someone off was the end of last year after Snape was horrible to Lily. I was coming back to the common room after being with Stebbins and Snape was just standing in front of the portrait hole, refusing to leave until Lily came out and talked to him. He was desperate, shouting at the Fat Lady to let him in and begging me to bring Lily out to him." She shook her head in disgust. "Pathetic, really, and so hypocritical, expecting sympathy after what he said to her in front of a bunch of people. I tried to just push past him, but he wouldn't let me, so I really had no choice but to give him a piece of my mind." She smiled nastily at the memory. "I really let him have it. I think I sort of blacked out a bit, because I can't remember exactly what I said, only that once I got going it was hard to stop, and when I was finished he was so shocked he forgot to try to follow me through the portrait hole."

Sirius looked at Mary, full of a new respect for her. "Shit, Macdonald, I wish I could've been there to see the look on his stupid, ugly face."

"Yes, it was rather satisfying," she said, standing and padding across the room to open the window and retrieve the pack of cigarettes from Sirius's jacket pocket. "I like the Christmas decorations, by the way," she added, sliding back under the covers before pulling out a cigarette and offering the pack to Sirius. "Did the house elves put all this up? They must like you better, because they never do our room."

Sirius chuckled. "No, it wasn't the house elves. James does this every year. He's mad about Christmas, the silly sod," Sirius explained, torn between affection and exasperation.

"And I take it you don't share his enthusiasm?" Mary asked, correctly reading the expression on his face.

"I fucking hate Christmas," Sirius replied, scowling.

"That's a shame," Mary said mildly. "And rather unfortunate when you have a roommate who does this." She gestured at the impressive amount of fairy lights, red and gold baubles, and holly that hung from every available surface.

Sirius narrowed his eyes at her. "You're not going to demand to know why I have such a negative view of such a well-loved holiday?" he asked, genuinely perplexed.

"No," she said, bringing her cigarette to her lips and inhaling deeply, before letting the smoke curl out of her mouth slowly. "I figured you'd explain if you wanted to, but it seemed like the sort of thing you'd rather not talk about."

Sirius smiled, taking a deep drag on his own cigarette. "You're right," he admitted. "Thanks, Macdonald." He didn't know precisely what he was thanking her for, only that he couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so fully understood by anyone outside of the Marauders.

"You're welcome," she replied, laying her hand on top of his gently for a moment before pulling it away again to brush her hair out of her face. "Can we steal some chocolate from Remus if I buy him some to replace it on Saturday? I'm starving."

Saturday, December 18, 1976

"Prongs, if you carry on whistling for much longer, Padfoot may actually kill you," Remus warned, settling into his seat on the Hogwarts Express and pulling a copy of The Daily Prophet from his bag.

"I'd give it five minutes," Peter added, taking in the bad-tempered expression on Sirius's face.

"Five's a bit generous," Sirius said darkly. "I'd say three at the most."

James made no reply except to whistle "Jingle Bells" more loudly.

"I need a bloody cigarette," Sirius muttered, reaching into his jacket pocket and retrieving the pack.

"You can't smoke in here," Remus said firmly.

"Don't use your prefect voice on me, Moony," Sirius retorted. "I always light up the second you leave to do patrols anyway, but if I'm going to be forced to listen to Prongs whistling Christmas carols for the whole bloody ride, I'm going to need a cigarette immediately."

"You'd better not," Remus insisted.

Sirius did not answer. Instead, he selected a cigarette from the pack, slowly putting it to his lips and lighting it, all the while staring defiantly at Remus.

Remus glared at Sirius with his arms crossed, but before he could formulate a reply, James had plucked the newspaper from his hands and proceeded to roll it up and whack Sirius with it. "No! Bad Padfoot!"

"Fuck off," Sirius snapped, putting up his hands to shield himself from the blows. "I hate when you do this."

James ignored him, continuing to wallop Sirius with the newspaper while Remus and Peter howled with laughter."Bad dog! Bad Padfoot! Drop it! Drop the cigarette."

"Cut it out, Prongs, it's degrading," Sirius protested, trying to slap away the newspaper and dropping his cigarette in the process. "Oh, bloody hell."

"Good boy," James said, giving Sirius a pat on the head.

"Sorry, are we interrupting something?" Mary and Lily stood in the doorway of the compartment, looking perplexed as they took in the scene: Sirius about to explode with rage, Peter and Remus laughing so hard they could barely breathe, James holding a rolled up newspaper and patting Sirius on the head, and the abandoned cigarette still smoking on the ground.

"Were you smoking in here?" Lily asked, pursing her lips disapprovingly.

"No," Sirius replied, putting out the cigarette under his boot. "At least, not with any measure of success." He grabbed the newspaper from James's hand and threw it on the floor in irritation. "You're a git, you know that?"

James shrugged. "So I've been told." He looked inquisitively at Mary and Lily. "Were you looking to join us? We have plenty of room. Despite popular belief, Remus does not need an entire seat for his books and chocolate." He ran a hand through his hair and grinned at them.

"Oh, I was just going to tell Black to come and find me later if he gets bored," Mary explained. "It's just me and Lily in our compartment, so I'll have it to myself when she leaves to patrol the corridors." She shrugged indifferently. "Or don't, it doesn't matter to me. I have Witch Weekly to keep me entertained." She raised her eyebrows at Sirius, and he smirked back at her.

"Oh, come on, you may as well join us," James urged. "We can all play Exploding Snap until the prefects have to go patrol, and Evans, we'll pick out all the grass Bertie Botts for you." He patted the empty seat next to him and smiled hopefully. "Come on, it's Christmas."

Mary glanced at Lily, then settled wordlessly into the empty seat next to Peter. Lily shrugged and followed suit.

"Excellent," James said, plopping down next to Lily. "Wormtail, will you deal us all in? And Moony, don't even think about reading. It's Christmas and we're all going to socialize and be cheerful, and we're going to like it, damnit!"

Snow fell steadily outside as the train sped away from Hogwarts, but the group stayed warm and cozy inside the compartment. Peals of laughter and shouts of dismay filled the small space as the game grew more heated, and no pone could believe how quickly the time had passed when Remus checked his watch and realized he and Lily were overdue to patrol the corridors. Once they had left hastily, James and Peter cleared away the Exploding Snap cards and began a game of wizard's chess.

Sirius and Mary exchanged a meaningful look, then Sirius announced, "I'm bored."

James raised his eyebrows. "Is that what they're calling it these days?"

Sirius smiled mischievously at his friend but made no reply. Instead, he offered Mary a hand up and said, "Fancy a walk and a smoke?"

Mary allowed Sirius to hoist her to her feet. "Yeah, all right," she agreed, leading the way out of the compartment. "Don't have too much fun without us, you two," she called over her shoulder.

"I was going to say the exact same thing to you," James retorted, giving Sirius a thumbs up.

Sirius followed Mary down the corridor, humming softly to himself.

"Sirius Black, are you humming 'Jingle Bells'?" Mary asked, turning around and giving him an appraising look.

"Bloody hell, I am," Sirius said in disgust. "I'm not even drunk. What's wrong with me?"

"There's nothing wrong with you," Mary said, laughing. "You're just enjoying the Christmas spirit instead of being your usual Scrooge self."

"What the fuck is a Scrooge?" Sirius asked, completely nonplussed.

Mary shook her head and waved a hand dismissively. "Never mind," she said, sliding open the door to a compartment and stepping in. "Come in and enjoy this empty compartment with me."

"You can't distract me by seducing me,"' Sirius protested, nevertheless following her into the compartment and sliding the door shut behind him. "I still want to know what a Scrooge is."

"Black," Mary said softly, hooking a finger through his belt loop and pulling him toward her. "Why does it feel like I'm constantly telling you to shut up?"

Afterwards they lay sprawled lazily across the compartment floor, smoking and enjoying the calm, cozy feeling created by the gentle motion of the train, the snow falling heavily outside the window, and the closeness of their bodies.

"We'd better watch out, otherwise those mean prefects on patrol will come tell us off for smoking," Sirius observed, noticing the way the cigarette smoke slowly filled the compartment and gave everything a hazy quality.

"But it's too cold to open the window," Mary protested. "Although I suppose it might help if I got dressed."

"Nah, I don't think you should," Sirius said, grinning and pushing her clothes safely out of reach. "I can handle the wrath of Moony and Evans."

"Actually, I wonder if they're even patrolling anymore," Mary mused. "We've been gone for ages. Maybe we should go back."

"Fine," Sirius said, sighing and putting out his cigarette before disentangling himself from Mary and reaching for his clothes.

"It's going to be weird, not seeing you for two Wednesdays," Mary said as they strolled back down the corridor, having reluctantly dressed and left the compartment.

"It won't be the same," Sirius agreed. "What will you do to keep yourself from sinking into a depression because of how much you miss my devilish good looks and extraordinary shagging abilities?"

She laughed. "I'll probably work at the diner if they need me. People usually take time off around the holidays so they'll be short staffed, and it will be nice to make a bit of money. My mum and I do usually have a nice meal together on Christmas Day - mind you, it's about the only nice meal we have all year because neither of us can cook for shit, and then Lily's asked me to come stay at hers for New Year's. Other than that, I'll just be making sure my mum doesn't get too drunk to turn up for her shifts at work, and counting down the days until I'm back at Hogwarts." She smiled ruefully. "You'll have an all right time, though, won't you? I bet the Potters have a lovely Christmas, and that house must look gorgeous all decorated and festive."

"I suppose," Sirius assented. Then, after a moment he continued, "They're quite fond of me. James always complains that I'm the favorite. I think they're really excited to have me for Christmas." He tried to conceal the hope and pride in his voice, but his irrepressible smile gave away his true feelings. "They've had a stocking made with my name on it, as well as this absolutely ridiculous personalized ornament that has my face on a snowman's body."

Mary's eyes lit up. "That's bloody adorable," she said. "I'll need to see a picture of that at some point. Do they have matching Christmas sweaters too?"

"Probably," Sirius replied, sounding both exasperated and pleased. "They're mad about Christmas. Nutters, all of them. But they're good people, the Potters."

They had reached the original compartment, and Sirius slid open the door and started to step through, but stopped short and turned to Mary, putting a finger to his lips then mouthing, "They're all asleep."

He proceeded into the compartment more cautiously, taking care not to upset the box of Bertie Botts, the chess board, or the pile of books by Remus's feet, then settling himself into an empty seat.

"That's the cutest thing I've ever seen," Mary whispered, pointing at the sleeping forms of their four friends.

Lily lay slumped against James's shoulder, and his head rested against hers; tendrils of her dark red hair fell into his face and rose and fell slightly as he breathed. Remus had curled sideways on his seat, using his sweater as a pillow, and Peter had sprawled out the opposite way, so that his head rested a mere inch from Remus's. The soft sound of their rhythmic breathing filled the compartment, and combined with the motion of the train it began to have a soporific effect on Mary and Sirius.

"Maybe they have the right idea," Sirius muttered, slouching down in his seat and beckoning for Mary to join him. She did so, turning sideways in the seat and resting her head in his lap.

"This isn't a violation of our agreement, is it?" Mary asked, stifling a yawn. "Sleeping with your head in a bloke's lap has a very relationshippy feel to it."

"It does, doesn't it?" Sirius said, his eyes already drifting shut. "But I'm too tired to care." He rested his head against the seat, and within minutes they had both fallen asleep.


	9. Chapter 9

Wednesday, January 5, 1977

"It's good to be back together on a Wednesday afternoon, isn't it?" Sirius observed, glancing up from the essay he had been absorbed in for the last fifteen minutes.

"Yes, it is," Mary agreed, frowning down at her own essay. "I didn't miss the homework, though. What the hell am I supposed to put for the second part of the question?"

"It was that stuff Flitwick was saying about the theory behind countercharms, right near the end of class," Sirius said before returning to his parchment and scrawling another sentence.

"I missed that bit because I was too busy laughing," Mary protested. "Remember, you passed me that note that was just a drawing of Flitwick lounging on the beach in a bikini?"

"Oh right. James drew it - I can't take credit for that, but it was my idea to have him reading Witch Weekly." He grinned. "I bet he does, too. You might not know from looking at him, but Flitwick's got the dirtiest mind. You should have seen him trying not to laugh when I signed Hugh G. Rection on Remus's homework."

"I can imagine him laughing about that in his office after class," Mary said through peals of laughter. "Anyway, the point is I missed the information I need for my homework, and it's entirely your fault."

"It's lucky I'm good at multi-tasking, then," Sirius said, thrusting his parchment at her. "Take a look at mine, I'm about finished."

Mary studies Sirius's essay for several minutes, then began scribbling on her own parchment. Once she had finished, she rolled up her essay and tucked it into her bag, then handed Sirius back his own essay.

"Thanks, Black," she said, standing up and stretching before leaning casually against Sirius's chair. "Shall we go upstairs, then?"

Sirius gestured around at the empty common room and raised his eyebrows. "We have the whole common room to ourselves. Seems a waste of time and energy to go up to the dormitory."

Mary's eyes darted to the door. "What about that bloke in the year above us who's usually in here, what's-his-face, the prefect?"

Sirius waved away her objection. "I saw him go into the library. I doubt he'll be back before dinner." He reached your and grabbed her hand, then guided her down into his lap. "Besides, I'm lazy and don't feel like climbing stairs, and the fire is so nice and cozy."

"It is nice here by the fire," she assented, turning her head to kiss him softly. "But let's at least move to the couch, yeah?" She slid off his lap and grasped his hand, pulling him up to a standing position.

"I like the way you think, Macdonald," Sirius said, making his way over to a nearby couch with Mary trailing after him. He sank down onto the plush cushions, pulling Mary down on top of him, and for a while the thought of being interrupted was completely forgotten.

"What the hell is going on here?!" The loud male voice, full of a combination of shock, disgust, and outrage, startled Mary so badly that she squealed and toppled off the couch. Sirius merely swore loudly and looked around for the source of the interruption.

The seventh year prefect stood staring at them, his arms full of books and a horrified expression on his face. He looked from Mary to Sirius, seemingly unable to tear his gaze away despite his obvious discomfort.

"Was that question rhetorical, mate, or are you actually not able to figure out what's going on?" Sirius inquired. "Because I feel like the lack of clothing combined with the compromising position you've found us in should be a dead giveaway, and if it's not, then the education system and your parents have done you a real disservice."

Mary, who was clutching one of the couch cushions in an effort to cover herself, pressed a hand to her mouth to cover her sudden burst of laughter and nearly dropped the pillow in the process. The seventh year prefect finally managed to look away from Mary and Sirius, instead staring down at his feet and blushing furiously. He opened his mouth to speak, but only spluttered incoherently for several seconds before throwing his hands up in exasperation and fleeing back out the portrait hole.

Sirius and Mary glanced at each other before collapsing into the couch again, laughing hysterically. When they finally recovered themselves, Mary stood to retrieve her clothes, but Sirius grabbed her wrist.  
"Don't," he said, smiling slyly. "We still have plenty of time, so we may as well finish."

Her eyes widened in surprise. "Are you kidding? He's probably off to tell McGonagall on us."

Sirius shook his head. "Nah, he's far too embarrassed to say anything. I'd guess he's going to go hide out in the library and won't show his face back here for ages." He gently tugged on her hand until she gave in and joined him on the couch again. "All right, where were we?"

Wednesday, January 19, 1977

"I don't much feel like doing homework," Sirius admitted, eying his Charms book with distaste.

"Neither do I," Mary agreed. "Want to put it off until later?"

"Yup," Sirius said, tossing his book aside with relish. "Want to play Exploding Snap instead?"

"Yup," Mary said, grinning. "Shall I run upstairs and grab my cards?"

"No need," Sirius said, reaching into his bag and pulling out a deck of cards. "I always have these in my bag, just in case."

She chuckled. "Of course you do." She glanced across the room at the seventh year prefect. He had his nose in a book and seemed determined not to look either of them in the eye, as he had been doing ever since walking in on them two weeks ago. He turned a page, accidentally looking up and meeting Mary's eye, then hurriedly turned back to the book, blushing furiously.

"Do you think we should ask him if he'd like to join us?" she asked.

"Why would we do that?" Sirius replied, glancing across at the prefect dubiously.

"Well, I feel a bit bad about what happened before," she admitted, keeping her voice low. "He obviously feels awkward around us now, and we're always the only ones in here every Wednesday afternoon…" Her voice trailed off, and she looked at Sirius expectantly, but he made no reply, so she plowed on. "I dunno, don't you think it would be a nice gesture?" Sirius continued to stare at her blankly. "And I suppose it doesn't hurt to be on good terms with a prefect," she added.

"That is actually a good point," Sirius said, nodding slowly. "And Exploding Snap's not nearly as much fun with just two people." He raised his voice and waved across the room. "Oi! You want to play Exploding Snap with us?"

The prefect looked around in confusion, eyes wide. "Me?" he asked.

"No, the bloke next to you," Sirius said sarcastically. "Yes, you. Come on over, we need a third person."

"Oh, that's okay," the prefect said, looking uncomfortable. "I have to finish this essay."

"What's it on?" Sirius asked. "Maybe I can help."

"Doubt it," he replied, frowning. "Unless you know anything about the Homonculus Charm."

"It just so happens that I am somewhat of an expert on the Homonculus Charm," Sirius said, grinning and joining the prefect at his table.

"You are?" the prefect asked incredulously. "How? Flitwick doesn't introduce it until seventh year."

"Oh, I learned it on my own for a sort of side project," Sirius said evasively. "Took bloody forever to figure out, too, because the theory is so complex, but I understand it perfectly now. What are you stuck on?"

The seventh year frowned and pointed to his parchment. "I think I'm all set with everything except how to establish the boundaries. I don't quite understand what Flitwick was saying about that, and the textbook isn't very helpful either…"

"Oh, all right," Sirius said. "Got it," and he launched into a complicated explanation as the seventh year prefect scribbled hastily on his parchment.

Five minutes later, the seventh year was rolling up his parchment and placing it in his bag along with his quill and ink.

"Thanks," he said gratefully.

"Don't mention it," Sirius said, beckoning for Mary to join them at the table.

She took the seat next to Sirius and dealt cards to each of them.

Sirius picked up his cards and handed the other pile to the prefect. "It's Jones, right?"

The prefect nodded.

Sirius narrowed his eyes in concentration. "Hang on, don't tell me your first name… Is it Randall? No, that's not right. Ralph?"

Jones shook his head, amused. "It's Matthew."

Sirius laughed. "Shit, sorry, I wasn't even close." He extended his hand. "Well, nice to officially meet you, Matthew Jones. I'm-"

"Sirius Black. I know," Jones said, shaking Sirius's hand. "And you're Mary Macdonald," he added, addressing Mary. "I had to tell you off last year for wandering the corridors after hours." He smiled ruefully.

"You did," Mary agreed, nodding. "Several times, if I recall correctly. Mind if I go first?" She glanced at her cards, then selected one and placed it on the table.

"Why were you wandering the corridors, Macdonald?" Sirius asked, smirking and setting down a card on top of Mary's.

Mary rolled her eyes. "Oh, sod off, Black. You know I was meeting Stebbins." She glanced at Jones. "My ex-boyfriend," she explained sheepishly.

"Right, red-headed Hufflepuff bloke?" Jones asked, setting a card on top of Sirius's. "I had to kick you two out of the second floor broom cupboard once."

"Yes, that was our usual spot," Mary admitted, looking sheepish and throwing down a card.

"Ugh, the one on the second floor is the worst one," Sirius said, shaking his head in disdain. "Honestly, Macdonald, you're well shot of Stebbins. Imagine still having to go to that cramped, smelly broom cupboard to shag."

"As opposed to shagging right in the common room for anyone to walk in on?" Jones said, smiling slyly. When Sirius and Mary merely gaped at him in surprise, he added, "Sorry, too soon?"

"No, not at all," Sirius said, chuckling. "We deserved that."

"We just didn't expect you to joke about it," Mary explained. "You seemed so, I dunno, horrified, we figured we'd scarred you for life and you were going to go through the rest of the year pretending it never happened."

"I was just surprised, that's all," Jones admitted. "You just don't expect to walk into the common room and see two acquaintances completely naked, do you?"

"Not normally, no," Sirius agreed. "Although it does seem to be an occupational hazard of being friends with me, wouldn't you say, Macdonald?"

"He's not at all shy," Mary confirmed. "He stripped down and jumped in the pool at a party this summer in front of loads of people - the entire Quidditch team was there, and Dan Dingle, and bloody Bertha Jorkins, and I don't even know who else."

"Oh yeah, I heard about that," Jones said, slapping the pile of cards and adding them to his hand gleefully. "I think everyone did."

"Well, I suppose that's because Bertha Jorkins was there," Sirius said, shrugging. "Shit, Macdonald, you may have met your match at Exploding Snap. Jones is pretty good."

"Oh, I'm all right," Jones said modestly. "I just play a lot, that's all." He selected a card from his hand and set it down on the table, starting a new pile. "So when did you two start dating?"

Sirius met Mary's eye, and they both burst into laughter. Jones looked from Mary to Sirius, confused.

"What's so funny?" he asked, when it became clear they weren't going to explain.

"We're not dating," Sirius replied, still chuckling.

"Definitely not," Mary added, shaking her head adamantly.

"Oh, sorry," Jones said. "I just assumed, because, well, I see you together all the time, and then the other day when I walked in, you were, you know…"

"We have an agreement of sorts," Mary explained. "We shag, and we do our homework together, and sometimes we play Exploding Snap or throw dungbombs off the roof if we don't have any work or aren't feeling particularly motivated."

"But we don't hold hands or go to fucking Madam Puddifoot's or talk about our feelings," Sirius added. "And we're free to see other people if we like. So it's basically all the benefits of a relationship, without the less desirable aspects."

"It's kind of brilliant, really," Mary said, glancing down at the cards. "Sorry, is it my turn?" She played a card, then glanced at Sirius and beamed. "I don't know why more people don't do something like this, to be honest."

"Because most people are sentimental sods and enjoy holding hands and talking about their feelings," Sirius said, rolling his eyes. "No offense, Jones, if that's what you're into."

"None taken," Jones said with a shrug. "I don't actually know what I'm into, to be honest. I've never really dated anyone." He looked down at his cards self-consciously, as though expecting the other two to laugh or tease him, but they merely mulled this admission over for a moment.

"Would you like to?" Mary said after giving it some thought. "Date someone, I mean?"

"Not really," he said honestly. "There's no one in particular, and I have a lot on with prefect duties and studying for N.E.W.T.s, and being in a relationship seems like more than I really have time for at the moment."

Sirius nodded. "I respect that, Jones. But what about shagging someone, because there's always time for that, and it seems like you could really use a bit of fun and stress relief, with all the studying and prefect rubbish you have to do."

"Oh, I don't know," Jones replied, fiddling with his cards.

Mary hesitated, then asked, "Have you ever?" She held up a hand. "Sorry, I know that's a personal question and you don't really know us, but you've also seen us naked, so I feel like that sort of fast tracked us from acquaintances to friends, in a weird way."

Jones grinned. "Yeah, I suppose that's true." He lowered his voice even though they were the only ones in the room. "I, er, haven't, by the way."

"Would you like to?" Mary asked, but Sirius waved his hand dismissively.

"Don't be silly, Macdonald, of course he wants to, why the fuck wouldn't he?" He set down his cards, giving up on the game completely and giving this new task his full attention. "Right, I'm going to make it my personal mission to make this happen for you, Jones."

"Oh no, that's okay," Jones protested, but Sirius refused to listen.

"Nope, it's the least we can do," he insisted. "You can't leave Hogwarts and go out into the world a virgin, I simply won't stand for it. What's your type?"

"Er, I don't know that I have a type. You know, you really don't have to do this. We can just keep playing Exploding Snap," Jones suggested hopefully.

"It's too late now," Mary said, grinning. "Once he's excited about something, he'll never let it go." She thought for a moment. "How about what's her name - Hufflepuff prefect in our year?"

"Her name's Abby," Jones supplied helpfully.

"Yes, her," Mary said. "Think she'd go for it?"

Sirius shook his head. "Definitely not. I've tried before, but she's extremely prude. Wouldn't even consider shagging someone she's not in a long-term relationship with."

"Oh," Mary said, her expression making it clear that she considered this a ridiculous way to live one's life.

"Yup. But how about about Greengrass?" He looked at Jones thoughtfully. "How do you feel about shagging a Slytherin?"

"No, that's no good," Mary said before Jones had time to formulate a coherent response. "She's dating Urquhart now."

"Ugh, really?" Sirius said with distaste. "Well, that's probably for the best. We can find you someone a bit better, Jones." He drummed his fingers on the table, then looked up excitedly. "Hang on, what about Unicorn?"

Jones laughed. "Who?"

"Sorry, Danielle, in your year," Sirius explained. "James has ridiculous nicknames for all the players on the Quidditch team, and I've sort of gotten into the habit of using them. Anyway, what do you think of her?"

Jones turned slightly pink. "She's, er, she's nice, and very good looking, I suppose."

"And I think she'd be up for it," Sirius continued. "We've been quite flirtatious several times, and I really don't think she's all talk."

"Well, I don't want to interfere, if you're interested in her," Jones began, but Sirius waved his concerns away.

"Nothing can happen with me and Unicorn,," he explained. "James has this bloody stupid rule that I'm not allowed to snog or shag anyone on the Quidditch team." He rolled his eyes.

"That's an oddly specific rule," Jones observed curiously. "Is there a good reason?"

"Well, yes, there is," Sirius admitted, smiling ruefully. "Remember the first match last year? We lost to Slytherin, very disheartening, almost put us out of the running for the Cup - is this ringing any bells?" Jones nodded, and Sirius continued. "Well, it was partly my fault that Gryffindor lost."

"How?" Jones asked, intrigued.

"I shagged Bernard," Sirius replied, referring to the blonde seventh year who played Beater. "She wanted a relationship, and I didn't, and she was so distraught about it that her Quidditch abilities took quite a hit." He shook his hair out of his eyes and shrugged. "It was a whole thing, but Gryffindor managed to pull it together and win the cup anyway, and Bernard and I are on good terms now, so it's all fine, but the rule still stands to prevent me from causing any more unintentional Quidditch-related fiascos." He laughed. "So long story short, Unicorn is off-limits for me, but not for you."

Mary wrapped a stray curl around her finger as she thought. "How do we do it, though? Throw them together at the next party, do you think?" She frowned. "But when will the next party be? There's not another Quidditch match until, what, March?"

"We can just have a party, there doesn't have to be a reason," Sirius replied, sounding unconcerned. "Let's do it next weekend. Should we come up with a concrete plan for how we'll do it, or do we want to just see how it goes?"

"See how it goes, I think," Mary said confidently. "I feel like planning it too carefully puts too much pressure on it. We'll let the night unfold and figure it out as we go."

"It's settled, then," Sirius said, reaching over and clapping Jones on the back heartily. "Are you excited, mate?"

Jones wore an expression of mingled amusement and incredulity, as though he could not quite believe the events of the previous half hour. "I suppose," he said uncertainly.

"You don't believe this is actually going to happen, do you?" Sirius said, correctly reading Jones's expression.

"Not really, no," Jones admitted.

"That's all right, you'll see," Sirius said, grinning. He looked at his watch and turned to Mary. "Shall we go upstairs before it's time to go to dinner? Unless you'd rather just use the couch again." He smirked at Jones. "Only joking, mate, don't worry!" He stood and headed for the stairs with Mary following close behind.

"See you later, Jones," he called over his shoulder.

"Lovely playing Exploding Snap and chatting with you," Mary added, giving him a wave.

"Bye," Jones said, smiling in bemusement.


	10. Chapter 10

Wednesday, February 2, 1977

"I stopped by the library and got the books we need for the Charms essay," Sirius announced, dropping an armful of books onto the floor by his usual chair. "I know, I know, I'm the most thoughtful and helpful bloke ever, and you want to thank me by shagging me senseless." He grinned at Mary, then frowned when he noticed her grim expression.

"What's wrong?" he asked, his face creased with concern. He expected her to brush aside his question, but instead her eyes filled with tears and she leaned her head back against the back of the chair, looking utterly forlorn.

"What's wrong?" she repeated. "Fucking everything." She rubbed her eyes angrily, attempting to wipe away the tears, but more took their place, spilling out and rolling down her cheeks, and she eventually gave up and simply let them fall.

"Shit, Macdonald," Sirius said, unsure how to handle this unexpected outpouring of emotion. Mary almost never cried; it was one of the reasons Sirius found it easy to spend so much time with her. "I don't suppose you want to talk about it?"

She shook her head wordlessly, her hair tumbling forward to obscure her tearstained face.

"Then how about we go to the prefect's bathroom to take a bubble bath and get inappropriately drunk?" he suggested, grinning and extending a hand to help her up. "Come on, it'll help."

She hesitated for a moment, then grasped his hand and allowed him to help her to her feet. "Yeah, all right," she agreed, smiling gratefully and wiping her eyes. "I must look a mess. Sorry to be so dramatic."

Sirius chuckled. "Have you met me? I've been called the world's biggest drama queen, plus I had to deal with James moping around for ages when Gryffindor didn't win the Quidditch Cup and then when Evans had a boyfriend, so I think I can handle you crying over a situation that I assume warrants a bit of dramatic behavior." He brushed a lock of hair out of her face gently. "Now let's go use the prefect's bathroom for purposes completely at odds with everything prefects stand for. Hang on while I run up to the dormitory and grab the firewhisky."

They barely spoke on the walk to the prefect's bathroom. Mary had stopped crying, but her expression remained despondent. Every so often Sirius glanced at her anxiously, looking away quickly before she noticed him watching her. When they finally reached the prefect's bathroom, he gave the password then ushered her in with a dramatic flourish of his arms.

"After you," he said, and she stepped through, a faint smile brightening her downcast face. He followed her, eager to see how she reacted to seeing this rather impressive room for the first time.

"Wow," she whispered, taking in the gleaming white marble that covered every surface, the chandelier that filled the room with the soft glow of candlelight, and the enormous sunken bathtub. "I kind of thought you were exaggerating about this place, but it's brilliant! It almost makes me wish I'd been a prefect." She strode across the room and bent to examine the many taps set with brightly-colored jewels.

"Not me. I'd rather occasionally snog a prefect and reap the benefits of using this bathroom without having to deal with the hassle and responsibility that being a prefect entails," Sirius said, smiling roguishly.

"I take it you're not talking about Remus," Mary said, raising her eyebrows. "He's lovely and all, but somehow I don't see him as your type."

"Don't be so sure, Macdonald. For all you know, I could be extremely turned on by old jumpers and compulsive chocolate eating," Sirius replied, selecting two fluffy white towels from a pile in the corner before joining Mary.

Mary laughed, then persisted, "It's that Hufflepuff in seventh year, isn't it? Katie?" She experimented with one of the tap handles and sent a jet of blue bubble bath spurting into the tub. Evidently pleased with the result, she tried another tap and added a layer of pink rose-scented bubbles.

"Fun fact: I lost my virginity to her," Sirius offered cheerfully, slipping off his shoes. "I even sort of dated her for a bit, but it ended badly, if you can believe that."

"Ooh, I think I remember hearing about that," Mary said, trying a third tap that gushed huge bubbles the size of footballs.

"Good choice, Macdonald," Sirius said, nodding at the bathtub. "You can float on top of those if you add enough." He laid his foot experimentally on one of the bubbles; it did not pop, but merely flattened under his weight. "Anyway, I told her I'd rather spend time with my mates than sit holding hands with her for hours, and she didn't seem to appreciate that, so that was that. I haven't talked to her in ages." He pulled the firewhisky from his pocket and set it on the edge of the tub before removing his clothing and tossing them aside, then slid into the bathtub, sinking in until he was completely submerged up to his neck.

"You can't just say that sort of thing to girls, it upsets them," Mary said, shaking her head in amused exasperation as she undressed and set her clothes in a pile beside Sirius's.

"I suppose that's why relationships aren't for me," Sirius said indifferently. "Come on in, it's quite nice."

Mary dipped a toe in the water, then slowly lowered herself into the tub, gasping as the heat of the bubbly water enveloped her body.

"Well, if it's not Katie who brings you in here, it's got to be Stacy," she said, referring to the Ravenclaw prefect in their year. "I've seen her giving you the look."

"And what look would that be?" Sirius asked, handing Mary the firewhisky.

She accepted the firewhisky and took a large sip before handing it back. "Oh, you know the look I mean," she said, smirking. "The 'I think you're sexy and I want to rip your clothes off and shag you' look."

"Is that the look you're giving me right now?" Sirius asked, taking a sip from the bottle and passing it back to Mary.

"Technically no, because your clothes are already off," Mary pointed out, taking an even bigger gulp of firewhisky and grimacing as it burned her throat.

"Fair point," Sirius conceded. "You're right, by the way, it is Stacy, but keep that quiet because I told her I wouldn't come here without her." He held his breath and let himself sink under the water, then came back up a few seconds later with his long hair dripping and coated in bubbles. "Although as a Ravenclaw, she really should be smart enough to figure out that I'm not actually going to keep that promise."

"I won't say anything," Mary said, sipping from the bottle and passing it to Sirius, then tilting her head backward so that her long dark curls fanned out in the water. "She's quite good looking, and like you said, she's smart, probably top of our year besides you, James, and Lily. And if she's willing to bring you here, then she must be open to rule breaking and fun."

"What's your point?" Sirius asked, taking a sip from the bottle and raising his eyebrows at her.

"I dunno, she just sounds like girlfriend material," Mary said casually, attempting to float on her back.

"I think we need to add more bubbles," Sirius said, paddling over to the tap and turning it on. "Are you jealous, Macdonald?"

She straightened and leaned against the side of the tub. "No, I'm just genuinely curious," she insisted.

"Well, I'm not looking for a girlfriend, so it's a moot point, but even if I was, Stacy's not what I'm looking for," he replied, spreading out his arms and legs and testing the bubbles to see if they would hold his weight. He did not sink through them into the steaming water, but merely rested against the thick bubbles, letting himself drift slowly across the surface of the tub.

"And what would you look for, if you were to look for a girlfriend?" Mary asked, following Sirius's lead and lowering herself gently onto the thick layer of bubbles on top of the water. "James, but in female form?"

"Probably," Sirius agreed, laughing. He pushed off from the side of the tub and maneuvered himself so that he and Mary floated next to each other. "Do you feel better yet?"

"I do, actually," she admitted, letting her eyes drift shut. The scent of the bubble bath and the heat of the water made her feel drowsy and peaceful, and the stress of the day seemed distant and removed.

"Good," Sirius said, reaching out for the bottle that rested on the side of the tub. "Now, I think we should shag, if you're up for it, because we're already naked and it seems a wasted opportunity if we don't."

Afterwards Sirius pulled himself up onto the edge of the tub and sighed in contentment. "Let's have a go at the diving board." He took a long pull from the firewhisky. "I don't mean to brag, but I can do a pretty impressive flip."

"Of course you can," Mary said, hoisting herself up to sit next to Sirius. "You're the biggest show off I've ever met."

"How dare you!" Sirius exclaimed in mock outrage. "James is the biggest show off. I'm just a close second." He stood and padded across the room to the diving board. "Prepare to be amazed, Macdonald," he said before climbing the ladder, bouncing several times, then jumping into the air and executing a neat flip before diving gracefully into the water. He emerged several feet from Mary, shaking his head vigorously and splattering her with water.

"Ugh, stop that," she protested, wiping water from her eyes. "That was rather impressive, though."

"Let's see what you've got," Sirius urged. "I bet you can do a brilliant cannonball."

"As a matter of fact, I can." She climbed out of the tub and stepped onto the diving board, then bounced once and launched herself into the air, curling into a ball and landing in the tub with a splash.

"Not bad, not bad," Sirius said, nodding in approval. "But I think you can make a bigger splash. See if you can get the water to reach that mermaid painting." He gestured at the painting that hung above the tub. "She hates it when you splash her, which makes no sense to me, because mermaids live in the bloody water." He rolled his eyes, then exited the tub to demonstrate the proper cannonball technique.

After many cannonball attempts that left their clothing and towels thoroughly soaked, they had succeeded in splashing the mermaid painting as well as extinguishing some of the candles in the chandelier. Satisfied with their efforts, they sprawled out on their drenched towels and continued to drink.

"How do you manage to fit a full-sized firewhisky bottle in your pocket?" Mary asked, taking a long swallow.

"Undetectable Extension Charm," Sirius replied, taking another sip. "I can fit all sorts of useful stuff in this particular pocket."

"You can do an Undetectable Extension Charm?" Mary said skeptically, taking another sip. She partially missed her mouth, so a few drops of firewhisky dripped onto her chin and mingled with the remnants of bubble bath. She giggled and wiped away the spill, then handed Sirius the bottle. "Flitwick hasn't taught us that."

"I figured it out on my own," Sirius replied, watching her with an amused expression on his face. "It's dead useful, and it's really not that hard once you understand the theory. I think technically it's illegal, but I don't much care." He took a sip from the flask, then grinned at her. "You're drunk,"' he observed.

"Am not," she protested, trying to roll onto her side to face him, but only managing to wriggle around unsuccessfully.

"You're right," Sirius said sarcastically. "You are completely…" He paused for a second as if trying to think of the correct word. "Completely… fuck, what was I trying to say?"

"You're just as drunk as I am," Mary said, poking his shoulder to emphasize her point.

"Well, we set out to get inappropriately drunk, so I'd say we achieved our goal," Sirius reasoned.

"How drunk is inappropriately drunk?" Math mused. She had finally managed to roll over, and was running her hands absently through Sirius's wet hair.

"It depends on the situation," Sirius replied. "For today, I suppose we'd be considered inappropriately drunk if we're too drunk to go to dinner without causing a scene."

"Shit, it's probably time for dinner," Mary said, glancing around for a clock. "Do you have a watch?"

"It's in my pocket," Sirius replied, gesturing vaguely at his pile of clothes. "What are you doing to my hair, by the way?"

"Oh," Mary said, looking down and realizing with surprise that she had drawn Sirius's hair into an untidy French braid. "I've braided it. I think it suits you." She pulled a hair tie from her wrist and wrapped it around the edge of the braid to secure it.

Sirius felt his hair experimentally and grinned. "Brilliant." He got unsteadily to his feet, then promptly slipped on the wet towel and almost ended up on the floor again. Both he and Mary laughed hysterically as he stumbled across the room to retrieve his watch.

"Fuck, I hope it still works," Sirius said, holding up his sodden trousers and rummaging in the pocket. When he finally located his watch, he peered at it, his eyes unfocused, then looked up again. "It's all right, still works," he reported. "But we'd better hurry, we've been in here for ages." He picked up Mary's clothes and tossed them to her. They landed next to her with an unpromising squelching sound.

"Well, that's no good," Mary commented, pulling her wand from her sodden pocket and attempting a spell to dry her clothes. "I don't think that was very effective." She held up her trousers, which did not look remotely dry, and smiled in bemusement.

"You aren't one of those people who can do magic drunk, are you?" Sirius observed.

"It appears that I am not," she agreed. "Are you?"

Sirius laughed. "Fuck no. Peter's the best out of all of us. Don't ask me how, when he can barely do magic sober." He laughed again, then hesitated. "That was rather mean, wasn't it?"

"A bit," Mary said, shrugging. "But I won't tell him you said that."

"Oh, it wouldn't matter if you did. I make comments like that all the time," Sirius replied. "He's used to it by now. Once in a while I feel guilty about it, but only when I'm drunk. And it has to be the right sort of drunk."

"And today you are exactly that sort of drunk?" Mary asked.

Sirius shrugged. "Apparently. He's all right, really, just a bit, I dunno, enthusiastic, know what I mean?"

Mary thought for a moment. "You mean how he's always cheering you and James on whenever you're showing off?"

"Exactly!" Sirius exclaimed, nearly dropping his watch but saving it at the last second. "I mean, yeah, we do some pretty impressive things, but Merlin, once in a while I wish he'd just say, I dunno, 'Prongs, put away that Snitch, you're being a tosser,' or 'Padfoot, put your shirt on, you're being a tosser,' Or 'Moony…'" He frowned thoughtfully. "Well, Moony's almost never a tosser, but maybe something like 'Moony, your grandfather owled, he wants his cardigan back.'"

Mary chuckled. "Well, I think it's sweet how he's always so supportive."

"I suppose," Sirius conceded. "And he's bloody loyal. Always takes our side, even if we're dead wrong, which is rare, I know, but it does happen. So overall you couldn't ask for a better mate, really." He glanced sideways at her. "But don't ever tell him I said that."

"No, of course not," she said, rolling her eyes. "Imagine telling your friend how much you appreciate him - what would people think!"

"Exactly," he said, nodding seriously. "I have a reputation to maintain."

He pulled his wand from his pocket, pointed it at his clothes, and muttered an incantation, but it was not the least bit effective; if anything, the clothes looked even wetter.

"I guess we're wearing wet clothes, then," he said resignedly, beginning to dress with difficulty.

"Guess so," Mary said, looking down at her wet pile of clothes without enthusiasm.

"You know what's even more unfortunate?" Sirius said, finally managing to pull his trousers on and wrestling something damp and squashed out of a pocket. "We don't have any dry cigarettes."

"Oh, bloody hell, that is unfortunate. I could really go for a cigarette right now," Mary said, trying to force her shoe onto her foot and almost toppling over before Sirius put out a hand to steady her. "Do we have time to go back to the common room to change into dry clothes?"

Sirius looked at his watch again. "Nah, I don't think so. They've probably gone down to dinner without us. Come on, we'd better hurry." He held out a hand to her, and she took it and allowed him to lead her out of the steamy warmth of the room.

"Isn't this a violation of our agreement?" she asked, gesturing down at their hands clasped together.

"Absolutely not," Sirius said, shaking his head more enthusiastically than was necessary and causing his short braid to slap against his head. "This is a matter of safety, in case one of us loses our balance."

This proved to be a prudent decision, as they almost fell down no fewer than four times, including one very close call on a trick step and a near mishap involving a suit of armor. When they finally arrived in the Great Hall, they each had their arms draped around each other and were howling with laughter. Nearing the Gryffindor table, they both fixed each other with stern glares.

"Keep it together, Macdonald," Sirius mouthed.

"You keep it together, Black," she hissed back, and they managed to remain straight faced for exactly five seconds before dissolving once again into uncontrollable laughter.

"Where have you two been?" James asked, looking from Sirius to Mary, perplexed. "Why are you all wet, and what's so funny?" He peered closer at Sirius and let out a burst of laughter. "Are you drunk?"

Sirius shook his head primly and attempted to take his usual seat at the table, but his foot caught on the table leg and he stumbled forward, knocking Peter's fork, knife, and half his dinner onto the floor. Mary bent to retrieve the dropped items, but could not right herself and ended up sitting on the floor, giggling helplessly. Peter stared open mouthed, and James laughed even harder, but Remus glanced anxiously up at the staff table and stood up.

"For fuck's sake, Padfoot," he muttered in exasperation, helping his friend into a seat before turning back to assist Mary.

"Thanks," Mary said, taking a seat next to Sirius with exaggerated care. "Where's Lily?"

"She went looking for you in the library," Remus explained, steadying his goblet of pumpkin juice that Sirius had almost knocked over while reaching for a plate of rolls.

"Oh, there she is," Mary said brightly, noticing Lily hurrying toward the table. "Hi, Lil!" she called loudly, waving.

"Hi," Lily said, eying her strangely. "What happened to you two?"

"We've just had the best afternoon," Mary replied, heaping mashed potatoes onto her plate.

"The absolute best," Sirius agreed. "Look, Macdonald braided my hair. How does it look?"

"I like it," Peter said at once.

"You look ridiculous," Lily said, chuckling. "But why are you both so wet?"

"We had a cannonball contest," Sirius explained. "We actually put some of the candles in the chandelier out. Have you ever done that, Prongs?"

"No, I haven't," James said, sounding impressed. "Well done."

"A cannonball contest?" Lily repeated. "What - you mean, in the prefect's bathroom?"

"Yes, and I can't believe you never gave me the password to get in there," Mary said, pointing her forkful of mashed potatoes at Lily accusingly. "That was the best bath I have ever had." She thrust her arm under Lily's nose. "That bubble bath smells amazing, doesn't it?"

"I think it smells better on me, doesn't it, Evans?" Sirius said, shoving his arm in Lily's face.

Lily batted their arms away, eyes wide. She lowered her voice and said, "I can't smell anything besides the firewhisky fumes coming off of you two. Bloody hell."

"Would you say we're inappropriately drunk?" Mary asked, not bothering to keep her voice down.

"Shh, Mary, quit shouting! McGonagall is looking over," Lily hissed, jerking her head in the direction of the staff table.

"Is she?" Sirius said, craning his head to look. "Hi, Minnie!" he called, waving at McGonagall. "Brilliant class the other day!"

"How drunk are you, Padfoot?" James asked incredulously, barely able to finish his dinner because he was laughing so hard.

"Drunk enough," Sirius said, shrugging and taking a large bite of his dinner. "Now I have a question. Why is there no bacon?"

"Because it's not breakfast," James explained patiently before looking at Remus, Peter, and Lily. "Are you lot going to be able to keep this situation under control when I leave for Quidditch practice?"

"No, don't go, Prongs," Sirius urged. "Stay and help me find some bacon. Or, wait!" He held up his hand as if he had just thought of something genius. "You can watch Wormtail beat me at chess. Would you like to play chess, Wormtail?" He grinned. "I'm feeling generous, so I don't mind losing. Although, look out, because maybe intoxication improves my chess-playing abilities." He tapped the side of his head thoughtfully.

"We can play," Peter said, chuckling. "But if you can't beat me sober, I don't see how you'd be able to do it drunk."

"So you're staying to watch?" Sirius asked James eagerly.

"No can do," James said, finishing his pumpkin juice and standing to leave. "Good luck with chess, but honestly I'd say you have a better chance of writing the Charms essay than beating Wormtail when you're this drunk."

"Well, then, can I come watch practice?" Sirius persisted, taking a biscuit from a platter and eating the entire thing in one bite.

"That depends," James said, grinning. "Can you promise you won't be a distraction?"

Sirius thought for a moment, then shook his head, his mouth still crammed full of biscuit.

"Then you'll have to settle for playing chess with Wormtail," James replied, turning to leave. "Have fun!" he said over his shoulder, waving.

"We can do Charms if you'd rather," Peter said, taking his last bite of food and putting his fork down. "If you don't want to play chess, that is. I could use some help writing that essay, to be honest."

Sirius laughed and looked at Peter with a slightly unfocused gaze. "You want me to help you with homework when I'm drunk off my arse?" He tilted his head to the side and glanced at Mary. "You hear that, Macdonald?" He turned back to Peter. "You," he said, pointing a finger vaguely in Peter's direction, "have far too much faith in my ability to write essays under the influence." He took another biscuit and ate half of it, chewing for a few seconds before continuing, "Have Moony help you." He raised his eyebrows at Remus. "You are much better at Charms than you give yourself credit for." He frowned. "Actually, you're much better at most things than you give yourself credit for. Except-" he held up a hand and pointed at Remus's jumper, "wearing clothes that don't make you look 80 years old."

Remus smiled and shook his head in exasperation. "Well, thanks, Padfoot, and also sod off for the jumper comment." His face fell slightly as he turned to Peter. "I'd help you, Wormtail, but there is a 99% chance I'm going to be fast asleep in about a half hour." He stifled a yawn, then rubbed his eyes, ringed by dark circles that stood out against his pale face.

"Oh, shit, you're right," Sirius said, shaking his head as if he should have known this all along. "Evans? Can you help our dear friend Peter Penelope Pettigrew?"

Lily giggled, then hastily pressed a hand to her mouth. "Sorry, I just-" she continued to laugh despite her efforts to suppress her mirth. "Is that your real middle name?"

Peter blushed slightly and shook his head. "Sirius and James just sort of came up with it, the same way they decided your middle name is Agatha."

"We all have them," Remus added. "Mine is Mortimer."

"What's mine?" Mary asked eagerly.

"Veraminta," Sirius said promptly. "And James's is Edward, mine is Michael."

"But why are yours so normal?" Mary demanded. "That's not fair, when I'm stuck with Veraminta, which sounds like someone's fat old auntie, by the way, and you've given Peter a girl's name."

"Well, James and I both have real middle names that are so ridiculous that we figured our made up ones should be more boring," Sirius explained.

"What's James's real middle name?" Lily asked curiously.

"Nice try, Evans, but that is classified information," Sirius replied, slurring the word 'classified' but nevertheless maintaining a dignified expression. "Oh well, I'm sure I can get him to tell me," Lily said with a shrug. "Anyway, I can't help with the Charms homework because I've got to cover someone's prefect duty tonight."

"Ooh, can we come?" Mary asked excitedly. "We can help you. Black knows all the snogging spots, the ones the prefects don't check."

"Yes, that's a great idea, I'll bring my two drunk friends to patrol the corridors with me," Lily said sarcastically.

"Evans!" Sirius exclaimed loudly, pointing a finger at her. "You just said I'm your friend."

"I suppose I did," Lily conceded with a small smile. "Well, don't let it go to your head, Black." She glanced down at her watch, then stood. "I'd better go. Do you think you'll be all right getting back to the common room?" She eyed Sirius and Mary dubiously.

"Don't worry about us," Mary assured her. "We'll be fine." She tried to exit her seat, but after several unsuccessful attempts, she thought better of it and instead slid forward under the table, jostling Peter's feet in the process, then crawled out from underneath the bench and got unsteadily to her feet. "See?"

Lily shook her head, unsure whether to laugh or frown disapprovingly, and settled for a sort of half-smile.

"Good luck," she said, raising her eyebrows at Remus and Peter. "Behave, you two," she said to Sirius and Mary, before turning and heading off to patrol the corridors.

"Right, we'd better get going, too," Sirius said, imitating Mary's unconventional method of leaving the table, and somehow managing to do it gracefully. He offered his hand to Mary. "Should we hold hands again for safety, d'you think?"

"I think we'd better," Mary agreed, grasping his hand and setting off in the direction of the Gryffindor common room. Peter and Remus glanced at each other apprehensively, then left the table and hurried after their intoxicated friends.

The four of them made it back without incident, although they did waste several minutes trying to convince the Fat Lady to let them in after Sirius and Mary respectively shouted "Your mother's hairy arse!" and "Dumbledore's wrinkled knob!" when asked for the password. Remus finally succeeded in placating her, and she admitted them reluctantly after Peter gave the correct password. Sirius and Mary stumbled into the common room, howling with laughter and barely holding each other up.

"Wait, hang on," Sirius said, pulling the firewhisky from his pocket. "I think we need another sip."

"You do not," Remus said at once, making a grab for the firewhisky, but Sirius already had the bottle pressed to his lips.

"Knock it off, Moony, we're thirsty," Sirius said, waving Remus's hand away and passing the bottle to Mary, who hastily took a sip and slid it back into Sirius's pocket.

"Right, let's get to work," Sirius said, striding purposefully across the room and plopping down in his usual armchair, and after a moment's hesitation, everyone else followed suit.

"Padfoot, we don't actually have to do the Charms," Peter said, pulling his textbook from his bag and eying Sirius doubtfully. "I can ask Prongs for help when he gets back from practice."

"Nah, he'll be ages," Sirius argued, casting about for his bag that he had unceremoniously deposited on the floor after class.

"Well, then maybe Moony," Peter began, but stopped when he realized that Remus had already fallen asleep with his head resting on the arm of his chair.

"That's gotta be a record," Sirius said. "Anyway, it's all right, I'm committed to this now." He pulled his materials from his bag and flourished his quill dramatically. "I am going to write this Charms essay, and I am going to do it while intoxicated." He paged through his textbook for a few seconds, then laughed. "Hang on, what the fuck are we actually supposed to be writing about?"

"Bubble-Head Charms," Peter supplied helpfully. "It starts on page 85."

"Right," Sirius said, giving him a thumbs up. "Macdonald, are you ready?"

Mary, who had been tickling his arm with her quill, giggled and nodded.

"Okay, copy this down, people. This is going to be Outstanding-level work," Sirius said, dipping his quill into the ink and spattering some into the floor. He glanced down, rubbed it in with his foot, then cleared his throat theatrically and began to dictate.

Thursday, February 3, 1977

"Wake up, Padfoot!"

Sirius opened his eyes blearily, struggling to form coherent thoughts from the confused fog that filled his brain. His eyes traveled around the room, taking in not the hangings around his four poster bed, but the crackling fire and squashy armchairs of the common room. He pressed a hand to his forehead, hoping he could somehow banish his pounding headache through sheer force of will.

"Prongs?" Sirius asked. He tried to move but immediately regretted it; it felt like the entire lower half of his body was asleep. He moved his arm experimentally and felt his fingers brush a mass of curly hair.

"Macdonald?" He lifted his head a few inches and saw her sprawled sideways across his chair, her legs bent at an uncomfortable-looking angle and her shoes still on her feet. "Why the fuck are you on top of me?"

"Funny, you usually like when I'm on top," Mary said, climbing off the chair awkwardly and stretching her cramped limbs.

"It's too early for sexual innuendos, Macdonald," Sirius complained, trying to stand but collapsing immediately back into the chair, his legs filled with pins and needles after sleeping in such a strange position with Mary on top of him. "What time is it, actually?"

"Time for breakfast," James replied, watching the two of them struggling with a mixture of sympathy and amusement. "You'd better hurry if you don't want to be late."

"Fuck," Sirius muttered. "Did we end up finishing the Charms homework?"

James laughed. "Oh, you finished it," he said, picking up a scroll of parchment that had been discarded next to the chair. "You may want to do a bit of editing before you turn it in, though." He unrolled the scroll and began to read. "This is an essay about the Bubble-Head Charm. I could spend an entire paragraph going on about what I plan to talk about in the rest of the essay, but I'm going to skip that and jump right into writing the actual essay, because life is short, and so are you, Professor."

"Merlin, I don't mince words when I'm drunk, do I?" Sirius asked, unable to suppress his laughter even though it made his headache worse.

"Hang on, I haven't even gotten to the best part yet," James said, before returning to the parchment and beginning to read out another section. "To perform the charm, it's imperative to employ completely over-the-top wrist movement. If you're not flourishing your wand like a bloody idiot, you're doing it wrong. Then, once you've sufficiently flourished and said the incantation, you should end up with a bubble around your head. This will make you look like a fucking tosser, but will allow you to breathe underwater, so I guess you'll have to weigh the pros and cons." James paused to get his laughter under control.

"I mean, am I wrong?" Sirius asked.

"You're not wrong," James said fairly, then read out another section. "To perform the countercharm, you just repeat the ridiculous wand-flourishing and say a different incantation. If all goes according to plan, the bubble around your head should disappear, and you'll stop looking like a stupid arsehole. Obviously, you'll want to wait to perform the countercharm until your head is above the water, otherwise you'll drown. Then again, if you're not smart enough to figure that out on your own, you're a bloody moron and drowning would serve you right." James stopped reading and looked up from the parchment. "That's a bit harsh, Padfoot, don't you think?" he asked, grinning.

"Just being honest, mate," Sirius said, grinning back.

"And listen to this last bit," James continued. "After reading this shitshow of an essay, anyone should be able to successfully perform the Bubble-Head Charm and countercharm, even if you're as drunk as I am at the moment. If you can't, then you might be a troll, because this Charm isn't actually difficult at all. In fact, it's so easy that Peter mastered it after only five minutes. So, that about does it, now go ahead and mark this an 'O,' so you can go read the latest issue of Witch Weekly."

"Bloody hell, Black," Mary said, wiping away tears of mirth. "I'm afraid to even look at my essay. I barely remember writing any of it."

"That's because you didn't," James replied, picking up a second roll of parchment that rested near the chair. "You have two sentences of an introduction, then you wrote 'Sirius Black is a tosser' about twenty times, and at the bottom you drew a picture." He held up the parchment and pointed to an illustration of Sirius, clad in a Chudley Cannons jersey and sporting a large bubble around his head. A tiny speech bubble next to his face proclaimed "I'm a tosser!" in her loopy handwriting.

"That's very witty and clever," Sirius said sarcastically, pointing to the redundant cartoon. "Although well done on the Cannons jersey."

"Yeah, well, I'm not as witty or as clever as you are when I'm drunk," Mary retorted. "Or even when I'm sober, for that matter." She put her head in her hands and sighed. "I suppose I'll have to redo this at lunch."

"Me too," Sirius agreed, finally heaving himself to his feet. "Although I'm rather tempted to just turn it in as is and see if Flitwick finds it amusing."

"Please do, I'll probably need a laugh by then," Mary urged. "If I even make it through the day." She grimaced. "I can't remember the last time I was this hungover."

"Whose idea was it to get that drunk on a bloody Wednesday?" Sirius demanded.

"I dunno, but whoever it was, he's a real tosser," Mary said, smirking. "I'm going to go change, but I'll see you later, yeah?"

"See you later," Sirius echoed, waving weakly at Mary as she headed for the dormitory stairs. "You know, Prongs, I think I'm just going to skip class today. It'll be worth the detention, honestly, because if I do anything more strenuous than climb the stairs to get to my bed, I think I may die."

"Oh, shut up, drama queen," James chided him. "If Moony can make it to class today, so can you." He clapped him on the back bracingly. "Now let's go. Moony and Wormtail are already down at breakfast, and you have to hear the essay you three were 'helpful' enough to write for Moony. Every paragraph has at least two sexual innuendos." He set off for the Great Hall, and afternoon heaving a deep sigh, Sirius followed, silently cursing his existence.


	11. Chapter 11

Wednesday, February 9, 1977

"Hey, Macdonald!" Mary turned to see Sirius bounding toward her, and she leaned against the wall of the corridor as she waited for him to catch up.

"Hello," she said brightly once he had finally reached her. "You didn't walk your boyfriend to Ancient Runes today?"

"Don't be jealous, Macdonald," Sirius said, grinning and shoving his hands into his pockets. "And to answer your question, I went as far as the second floor corridor and then told James I had some business to take care of." He shook his hair out of his face and took a step closer to her, lowering his voice even though they were alone in the corridor. "I have a proposition for you."

"Are you going to try to seduce me right here in the corridor?" Mary murmured, leaning in closer to him. "Because I have to admit, I wouldn't exactly be opposed." She slid a hand under his shirt and slowly ran her fingers over the taut muscles of his stomach and chest.

"That wasn't my intention, but I'm not exactly opposed to the idea either," Sirius said, grabbing her free hand and leading her into an abandoned classroom, then shutting the door behind them.

Eventually Sirius pulled away, breathing heavily and looking pleased but slightly disheveled.

"All right," he said, "that will have to hold us over until later. I need your help with something."

"I thought I was helping," Mary breathed, pulling him toward her once more and kissing his neck.

"No, I need your help with something non-sexual," Sirius explained, closing his eyes and tightening his grip on her waist despite his protests. "But you're making it very hard."

He glanced at Mary and smirked almost immediately after the words were out of his mouth, and they both laughed at the sexual innuendo.

"Okay," she said, releasing him and taking a step back. "Okay. I'll stop for now. What do you need help with?"

Sirius removed his hand from Mary's waist reluctantly and took several deep breaths. When he had regained some of his composure, he began, "Right, I need your help with a prank. You know the really ugly statue near the loo on the fourth floor?"

Mary nodded, perplexed.

"We're going to move it up to the dormitory and put it by Peter's bed, then hide it under James's Invisibility Cloak. When he falls asleep I'm going to take off the Cloak, and if all goes according to plan, when he wakes up it's going to scare the shit out of him." Sirius grinned and eyed her expectantly. "Oh, and I'd like us to shag on his bed."

Mary laughed and shook her head. "I think I've been hanging around you too much, because this doesn't even seem like a strange request. I'm in. I just have two questions: why are you asking me to help you rather than James and Remus, and what on earth did Peter do to deserve this?"

"I knew I could count on you, Macdonald," Sirius said cheerfully, slinging an arm around her and steering her toward the door. "I didn't ask James and Remus because I figured it would be easiest to do when Peter's in class. I suppose I could manage it on my own, but it would be more of a hassle, and then you'd be left with nothing to do during your free period."

"Thanks for thinking of me," Mary said.

"You're quite welcome. As for the second question, Peter is being punished because he smoked my last cigarette and didn't replace the pack, and he made two rather rude comments about the Cannons in one afternoon." Sirius scowled, as if the memory of Peter's wrongdoing still rankled.

"Which is, of course, more than the acceptable number of rude comments about the Cannons allowed in that amount of time," Mary replied, grinning.

"Naturally," Sirius agreed. "Also, he's just fun to prank. If he doesn't scream like a little girl and/or fall out of bed when he sees that statue, I'll be shocked." He smiled dreamily, playing out the scene in his head.

"Wish I could be there to see that," Mary remarked, amused. "You'll have to reenact it for me."

"I'll do my best," Sirius assured her. "I have a hard time getting my voice to go that high, though." They had reached the fourth floor, so Sirius explained the plan as they approached the statue. "I'm going to move the statue, and you can go ahead of me and make sure the coast is clear."

"What do I do if someone's coming?" Mary asked. "Is there some ridiculous code word or something?"

"Oh, absolutely," Sirius replied. "Every ridiculous plan needs a ridiculous code word. Hmmm." He thought for a moment, tapping a finger against his cheek as he considered the matter. "How about Veraminta?"

"Lovely," Mary said, rolling her eyes before setting off down the corridor. Once she was safely out of sight, Sirius consulted the Marauder's Map to determine the safest route to the common room, then pointed his wand at the statue. The statue slowly raised a few inches off the ground and Sirius sent it ahead of him, careful to keep it from bumping into walls.

It took nearly fifteen minutes and some careful maneuvering to get the statue through the portrait hole. When Jones glanced up from his homework and took in the strange scene before him, he narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"Nothing to see here, don't mind us," Sirius said, trying to move the statue through the common room as quickly as possible without knocking over any furniture. Getting it up the staircase proved to be tricky, so Mary went ahead to help guide it through the narrow space. Finally, they burst through the dormitory door and Sirius let the statue drop unceremoniously to the floor at the foot of Peter's bed.

"Come lay on his bed with me, I want to see if the angle is right for optimal scaring," Sirius said, hopping onto Peter's bed and stretching out before scrutinizing the statue. Mary joined him, watching in amusement as he turned his head and squinted his eyes, then flipped onto his back and peered at the statue from upside down.

"What do you think, weirdo? Is the statue in the right place, or do you want to see how it looks if you stand on your head?"

Sirius took one last look at the statue, then pulled himself back into a seated position and shook his hair out of his eyes. "That won't be necessary. There's no way Peter could stand on his head without falling and breaking his neck," he said, grinning. "What do you think? If you woke up and saw this thing at the foot of your bed, would you wet yourself in fright?"

"Most likely," Mary said, eying the statue thoughtfully. "Why'd you choose this one, by the way? Why not a suit of armor, or maybe that hump-backed one-eyed statue on the third floor? I don't like the look of that one at all."

"Oh, it's sort of an inside joke," Sirius explained. "One night we were sneaking around under the Cloak - this was ages ago, must have been first or second year, because we all fit under the Cloak. Anyway, we came around that corner on the fourth floor kind of quick, and Peter saw that statue and fucking screamed like a little girl." He started laughing as he replayed the memory in his head, then tried to stifle the sound so he could finish his story. "Sorry, it's just-" his voice trailed off as he dissolved into laughter again. "Bloody hell, sorry, but it was literally one of the funniest things I've ever heard." He took a deep breath and got his laughter under control for the moment.

"So he screamed, and it was really loud, too, but we probably would have been okay because we had the Cloak, except we ended up getting caught because the three of us couldn't stop laughing. Remus was on the floor laughing his arse off and couldn't even stand up, so obviously the Cloak slid off him, and then we tried to fix it but were laughing too much to do it properly. Filch ended up catching us and we all got detention." He smiled fondly at the memory. "But it's been a joke between us since then. Sometimes we'll walk by the statue and one of us will imitate the scream - it never gets old. It's one of those things that you randomly think about and just start laughing about, you know? I actually did that the other day in Transfiguration, McGonagall thought I'd gone mad, but that's where I got the idea for this prank. It's been a while since anyone gave Peter shit about this, so I figured I'd bring Clarence to him."

"Clarence?" Mary repeated quizzically. You've named the statue?"

"Of course," Sirius replied, as though she had asked a ridiculous question. "Why wouldn't we?" He jumped down from the bed and retrieved the Invisibility Cloak from James's trunk and tossed it over the statue, tugging at it to ensure the entire thing was hidden from view. Satisfied, he returned to the bed, sitting down and beginning to unlace his boots.

"Are we moving on to phase 2 of Peter's punishment, then?" Mary asked, watching Sirius yank his boot from his foot and chuck it carelessly across the room.

"That's the plan," Sirius replied, tossing his other boot in the opposite direction; it bounced off the ceiling before landing on Remus's bed. "Are you going to just sit there, or are you going to help me?" He loosened his tie, then slipped it off and threw it so that it landed on the corner of one of Peter's bedposts.

"Am I helping you take off your clothes or make a mess of your room?" she asked, scooting over and unbuttoning his shirt.

"Taking off my clothes is our top priority," Sirius replied. "But feel free to make a mess, too, as long as it doesn't delay the process of taking my clothes off."

"Are we really going to do this in his bed?" Mary murmured, undoing the last button on his shirt and moving down to fumble at his belt buckle.

"Absolutely. He smoked my last cigarette, Macdonald. And he said Snape has a better chance of shagging Rosmerta than the Cannons do of winning the league." He began tugging her skirt down. "That was just uncalled for, and he deserves this. Honestly, we should make this the dirtiest, raunchiest sex we've ever had, because that would serve him right for being such a prat."

"I suppose that's fair," she said, removing her shirt and tossing it aside. "But don't you want to put the tie on the door first?"

"Nope," he said firmly, sliding off her skirt and lobbing it across the room where it came to rest in front of the door. "If he walks in and sees us defiling his bed, he deserves that too."

Afterwards Mary lay curled against him, still slightly out of breath.

"I'll help you get revenge on your mates any time," she offered, gently prodding a large mark on his neck. "You're going to look very classy walking around with this, by the way."

"You're one to talk." He pointed to an even larger mark just above her collarbone. "Although you might be able to hide that with your hair." He arranged her untidy curls so that they covered the mark.

"Your hair's almost long enough to cover yours, too," she observed. She ran her fingers through his hair; she found it irresistible, even tousled and damp with sweat.

"Why would I want to cover this up?" Sirius asked. "I'm going to wear it like a badge of honor."

"Half the girls in the school will be sick with jealousy," she said with a smirk.

"I should bloody well hope so," he said, disentangling himself from her to retrieve his pack of cigarettes.

"I thought Peter smoked your last cigarette," she pointed out, raising her eyebrows. "Isn't that why I helped you relocate the school's ugliest statue, and why I've just had the best sex of my life on your mate's bed?"

"I bought more - did you really expect me to go without them? I'd fucking murder everyone," he said darkly. "I did have to buy these from Dan Dingle, which is never ideal, but beggars can't be choosers."

He lay back on the bed, looking up at her and grinning roguishly. "So that was the best sex you've ever had?"

"I mean, yeah, it blew my fucking mind, but don't let that go to your head, Black." She rested her head against his chest, letting her dark curls fan out across his skin. "Are you going to give me one of those cigarettes, or do I have to beg?"

"Oh, bloody hell," Sirius muttered, realizing that not only had he forgotten to grab his wand to light the cigarettes, but he had also neglected to crack the window. He rose again, provoking murmured protests from Mary as she was forced to move from her comfortable position, and located his wand on the floor next to his trousers. After opening the window a crack, he made to return to the bed. Unfortunately, he collided painfully with the invisible statue that he had forgotten all about.

"Bloody fucking hell," Sirius swore loudly, collapsing onto the bed and clutching his shin. "I'm going to blame Peter for that." 

Mary bit her lip, trying not to laugh. "You know, we might want to consider moving that to the corner of the room until everyone's gone to bed, so nobody else runs into it and breaks a toe and/or ruins the prank."

"I suppose you're right," Sirius said irritably, and he pointed his wand at the statue to move it into the corner of the room. "And you know, I'm glad Peter didn't walk in on us after all. I think it will be more effective if I tell him after he's slept in the bed." He smiled wickedly. "I'm horribly petty, aren't I?"

"You are," she agreed. "But it's all right. You have other redeeming qualities."

"Like my ability to blow your fucking mind in bed?"

She grinned. "I shouldn't have told you that. I knew it was going to go to your head."

Hours later, Mary had gone to bed after spending the evening catching up on the homework she and Sirius had put off, as well as describing her afternoon rendezvous to Lily, who was quite interested despite her statements to the contrary. Snug under her blankets, she awoke suddenly when a terrified scream pierced the silence of Gryffindor tower. Mary burst into laughter even before her eyes fluttered open.

"What's going on?" Lily asked, reaching for her wand and lighting it, then looking around in confusion. "What was that noise, and why are you laughing like a crazy person?"

"Peter must have seen Clarence," Mary replied, trying to muffle her laughter.

"What?" Lily stared at Mary as though afraid she had lost her mind. "Who's Clarence? What are you talking about?"

Mary shook her head, still laughing softly. "Never mind, go back to sleep. Ask Sirius to explain in the morning." She rolled over and drifted back to sleep, listening to Lily's muttered remarks about how everyone had gone mad, and feeling rather satisfied with her role in what had apparently been a successful prank.

Thursday, February 10, 1977

"Good morning, Macdonald, Evans. Did you sleep okay?" Sirius said cheerfully as Mary and Lily sat down to breakfast.

"You know, I did hear a very girlish scream in the middle of the night," Mary replied innocently, helping herself to pumpkin juice. "Woke me up out of a dead sleep."

James and Remus roared with laughter, and Peter turned pink and scowled at Sirius.

"You did hear it, then?" Sirius asked, looking pleased. "Excellent! I bet all of Gryffindor tower heard it, Pete. How embarrassing." He gave Peter a falsely sympathetic look, but Peter made no reply except to mutter something darkly under his breath.

"You didn't like the prank, then, Pettigrew?" Mary asked.

"You were in on it too?" Peter demanded incredulously, staring at Mary with wide eyes, then turning his gaze back to Sirius and fixing him with the same furious glare.

"I was," Mary admitted. "Sorry about that. Nothing personal, Black just asked for my help, and it was either that or do homework, so I figured why not."

"What did you do?" Lily asked, frowning in confusion.

"Oh, you know the ugly statue on the fourth floor by the bathroom? We put it in front of Pettigrew's bed and hid it so he would discover it in the middle of the night. Apparently he's terrified of it."

"I'm not terrified of it," Peter protested, but no one acknowledged his comment.

"What was worse: the statue, or the other bit?" Mary asked him.

Peter narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "What other bit? Padfoot, there's another bit?" His tone sounded more anxious than angry now.

"Oh shit, I forgot to tell him!" Sirius exclaimed, his face splitting into a huge shit-eating grin. "Wormtail, we shagged on your bed."

Peter nearly choked on his mouthful of pumpkin juice. "You what?" he spluttered, looking utterly disgusted.

"We shagged on your bed," Sirius repeated calmly. "Macdonald said it's the best she's ever had, didn't you?"

"I did," Mary agreed. "You didn't have to include that detail, though."

"No, you're right. I added that for my own selfish reasons, cause I'm just damn proud, to tell you the truth. Anyway, we did it in multiple positions. We actually had to use your pillow at one point, Pete, to get some leverage."

Peter glanced hopefully at Mary, but Sirius shook his head. "No, mate, it was under my naked, sweaty arse, sorry about that," Sirius said, not appearing a bit sorry. "It really helped me get the right angle, though, you know?" He speared a sausage and ate half of it in one bite, then continued, his mouth still full. "Or, I dunno, do you know? Maybe I should reenact it." He stood and started thrusting his hips, screwing his face up in an expression of ecstasy.

"Oh for fuck's sake, sit down, Black!" Mary commanded, shaking her head in amused exasperation.

"Sorry, was I getting you all excited?" Sirius asked, grinning and returning to his seat.

"No, you prat, Flitwick is looking right at you," Mary said, pointing up at the staff table, where Flitwick did indeed have his gaze trained directly on Sirius.

"He's probably looking for pointers," Sirius said with a shrug. "I'll show you some moves later, Professor!" Sirius called, waving at Flitwick.

"I can't believe you haven't made it official with him yet, Mary," Lily said sarcastically. "He's so charming."

"Padfoot, you are my fucking hero," James said, wiping away tears of mirth and pounding his fist on the table.

"This is the best day of my life," Remus said, resting his head on James's shoulder and shaking with silent laughter.

"You say that every time something funny happens," Peter pointed out, scowling at Remus before turning to Sirius. "Why?" he exploded. "Why me? Why are you punishing me this way?"

"Because you insulted the Cannons," Sirius answered, eating the rest of his sausage.

"When?" Peter demanded.

"The other day," Sirius said. "Remember? You said Snivellus had a better chance of shagging Rosmerta than the Cannons have of winning the league?"

"That wasn't me, mate," Peter said, staring at Sirius blankly.

"Yeah, please don't do anything disgusting on my pillow, but I'm the one who said that, not Wormtail," Remus said sheepishly. "Are you sure?" Sirius asked, eying Remus skeptically. "You barely even follow Quidditch."

"I follow it enough to know the Cannons are rubbish," Remus replied. "And I was mostly just trying to wind you up."

"Well, what about when you said anyone who supports the Cannons is a pathetic tosser, Wormtail?" Sirius continued.

"I would never say that!" Peter protested. "I value my life too much!"

"I think it was Bertram Aubrey who said that," Remus said helpfully.

"Yeah, it was," James confirmed. "Remember, we were going to hex him but McGonagall was literally standing right there, so you gave him your darkest, most brooding glare, and we vowed we'd get him next time?"

"Shit, your right," Sirius conceded. "But Wormtail definitely took my last cigarette!" He glared at Peter. "Don't deny it, you thieving prat!"

"No, Pads, that was me," James admitted.

"What?" Sirius spluttered. "But- you- what happened to no smoking during the Quidditch season?" He crossed his arms and fixed James with a stern frown.

"I know, I know," James said, managing to look somewhat guilty. "You can't tell anyone on the team; I tore Unicorn a new one when I caught her smoking on the Astronomy Tower the other day." He looked at Sirius, a pleading expression on his face. "I had a long day and just really wanted a cigarette. I shouldn't have taken your last one, though, that was kind of rude." He continued to eye James anxiously.

"It's all right, Prongs, keep your shirt on," Sirius assured him. "Or don't - that might make Evan's morning." He flashed her a cheeky grin and continued. "Just tell me next time, yeah?" He glanced at Peter. "Guess I didn't need to go to such elaborate measures to get revenge, did I?"

Peter just stared at him for a moment, apparently at a loss for words. Finally he said, "I want him out of our room."

"What, me?" Sirius asked, incredulous.

"No, you idiot, Clarence!"

"Who's Clarence?" Lily asked, but nobody answered.

"I dunno, I think he really adds something to the room's decor," Sirius remarked.

"No he bloody doesn't. He's ugly and creepy and he's blocking my trunk," Peter argued. "He better be gone by dinner time, or I'll tell McGonagall and she'll come move him."

"That's an empty threat," Sirius scoffed. "You really want to invite McGonagall to come poke around in our dormitory, with all the questionable shit we get up to in there?"

"What sort of questionable-" Lily began, but Sirius waved away her question dismissively and spoke over her.

"I'll remove Clarence from our room, Wormtail, so just relax, all right? I suppose I do owe you an apology, so I'm sorry for pranking you for something you didn't actually do, but it was incredibly entertaining for the rest of us, so I'd say it was worth it." He crossed his arms and looked at Peter. "Are we all right, mate? Or are you going to have your knickers in a bunch all day?"

Peter sighed. "Yeah, we're all right." He grinned and held up a hand. "But, we're playing chess every day for the next week, and you're not allowed to pout when I kick your arse."

Sirius drummed his fingers on the table thoughtfully. "Hmmm. Well, I'll agree to play chess, but I can't promise I won't pout. Minimal pouting is the best I can do."

Peter chuckled. "Yeah, all right."

"We should get going," Sirius said, pushing back from his chair and rising. "And while we walk to class, I can describe in detail every sex position we used yesterday, so you can form an accurate mental picture."

Peter aimed a playful shove at Sirius, but the latter dodged it and set off across the Great Hall laughing, and after a moment everyone followed, their expressions varying combinations of amusement and exasperation.


	12. Chapter 12

Wednesday, February 23, 1977

Mary lay on her side, her head propped on her hand and a strand of hair falling into her face.

"We should go down to the common room and finish that homework," she observed without enthusiasm.

"But that would involve moving," Sirius protested. He was sprawled sideways across the bed on his stomach, his legs dangling off the side. "That's more effort than I want to put forth at the moment."

"We'd have to get dressed, too," Mary added regretfully.

"Not necessarily," Sirius pointed out. "Actually, homework might be more fun naked."

"You think everything is more fun naked."

"That's true," Sirius agreed. "Although there are a few exceptions. For instance, I don't think you should care for a fanged geranium while naked." He grimaced.

"Fair point. It's probably not advisable to fry anything while naked either," she added. "You know, because of the possibility of splatter. Actually, we should add any sort of potion making to this list, as well."

"Well, hang on," Sirius said, rolling onto his side to face her."I don't know if I agree with that, because if you're brewing your potion correctly, there shouldn't be any sort of splatter or boiling over, so theoretically it should be perfectly safe to do nude." He tilted his head sideways and smiled impishly. "Think Slughorn's ever done it?"

"Ugh, now I'm never going to get that image out of my head, you prat!" She shoved his shoulder playfully, and he retaliated by whacking her lightly with a pillow.

"Cut it out, Black," she protested, but before he could respond, a slightly-tinny voice interrupted them by exclaiming despondently "Oh dear!"

"What was that?" Mary asked, looking around in confusion and hastily covering herself with the blanket. "Is someone here?"

"No, it's all right," Sirius replied, amused at her sudden panic. "James just got detention, that's all."

"What? How do you know?" She narrowed her eyes at him. "You two can't somehow read each other's thoughts, like twins or something, can you? Cause that's just weird."

"Don't be stupid, of course we can't." Sirius pointed across the room at the large chart hanging on the wall. "It's our trouble tracker. We made this to track when any of us lose points or get detention," he explained. "It has a different alert sound for each of us."  
"What's your personalized alert sound?" she asked, interested.

"A dog barking," he said, grinning and glancing at his watch. "We probably should get dressed. They'll be back soon."

When James stepped through the portrait hole with Lily close behind them, Mary and Sirius were fully clothed and waiting for them by the fire.

"Hullo," Sirius said as James plopped down in his usual chair by the fire. "Where are Moony and Wormtail?"

"Library," James replied. "Did you two have a good shagging session?"

"It was excellent," Sirius replied. "Oh, by the way, we heard the trouble tracker go off. What'd you do, and who do you think you are, causing mischief and mayhem without me?"

James grinned and ran a hand through his hair. "Oh, it was brilliant," he began. "You know how we couldn't hex Bertram Aubrey last time he said something tosserish? Well, I got him back."

"Did you enlarge his head again?" Sirius asked.

"Nah, even better," James replied.

"Are you bragging about your juvenile behavior?" Lily asked, perching on the arm of Mary's chair and giving James a disdainful look.

"Don't act all high and mighty, Evans," James shot back. "You laughed so hard you almost fell out of your seat."

"All right, I guess I did find it somewhat amusing," Lily admitted, smiling sheepishly.

"That's what I thought. Anyway, we were translating a passage into Runes, and I managed to get my hands on Aubrey's translation and, er, tweaked it a bit."

"I'm sure you were just helping him with something he'd mistranslated, right, Potter?" Mary asked.

"Of course I was," James agreed. "He had a whole sentence that was wrong, actually, so I just went ahead and replaced it for him."

"What did you change it to?" Sirius asked eagerly.

"'I'm a pompous tosser and the only thing bigger than my head is the giant stick up my arse,'" James answered with a straight face. "Professor Babbling wouldn't have noticed right away, either, except she dropped the pile, and when she picked them up Aubrey's ended up on top, and then it was incredibly obvious I had altered it because I was doubled over laughing my head off."

"There's a rune for tosser?" Sirius asked, surprised.

"Well, the proper translation in Spellman's Syllabary is 'idiot' or 'fool,' but I figure it's about the same. However, there's none for 'arse,' the closest means 'rear end' and that just wouldn't do, so I made up my own symbol instead." He shrugged. "I thought it was rather innovative, but neither Babbling nor Aubrey seemed to think so for some reason."

"You really think drawing a symbol that looks like a tiny butt counts as innovative?" Lily asked, rolling her eyes. "Never mind the fact that it was unwarranted - he was literally just minding his own business."

"First of all, yes I do, thanks very much," James said. "And second, it was not unwarranted. We had to pay him back for saying Cannons supporters are pathetic tossers. You can't discriminate against someone just because the team they support is the arsehole of the British and Irish Quidditch League!"

"Prongs," Sirius warned, but James ignored him and plowed on.

"That's not all, either. I heard that comment he made to you about how you seemed to be slipping because you made several errors in your translations and you'd been late for the last prefect meeting."

"Well, he wasn't wrong," Lily said, appearing slightly embarrassed.

"But who is he to speak to you that way?" James demanded indignantly. "I wanted to smack the smug little smile off his stupid face. Honestly, he's lucky all I did was spice up his translation a bit."

"Well, thanks, I suppose," Lily said, sounding rather touched. "But you didn't have to do that on my account."

"It was my pleasure, Evans," James replied. "Anyway, I've got detention tomorrow night."

"Me too!" Mary said, with more enthusiasm than a detention would typically warrant.

"What for?" Sirius asked. "Did McGonagall catch you with too many buttons unbuttoned again?" He eyed her chest meaningfully. "She's got a point, you know. How's a bloke supposed to concentrate in class with those things hanging out?"

"Don't be a prat," Mary said primly, adjusting her shirt. "Babbling happened to catch me out of bed after hours. And before you make some ridiculous suggestion, no, I wasn't meeting up with Stebbins, or Dan Dingle, or anyone else, for that matter. I just, I dunno, couldn't sleep and felt like taking a walk." Her tone remained, but her eyes had a distant, closed-off quality that warned the group not to ask questions. Sirius raised his eyebrows at her but said nothing.

"Well done, Macdonald," James said, giving her a thumbs up. "Now we can keep each other company in detention."

"If you play your cards right, I'll bring you both a snack," Sirius said cheerfully. "Speaking of snacks, should we go down to dinner? I assume Moony and Wormtail are meeting us there?"

Thursday, February 24, 1977

"Mr. Potter, Miss Macdonald. Come in and have a seat," said Professor Babbling, gesturing at the many empty desks.

Mary sat down at the back of the classroom, and James chose a seat nearby but not directly next to her, fully aware that he should not push his luck or he might end up being forced to move all the way across the room. Professor Babbling handed them both parchment, quills, and ink, then returned to her desk at the front of the classroom.

"Are we doing lines, then?" James asked.

"No, Mr. Potter." She selected two books from the cluttered pile on her desk and strode back across the room to hand them to him. "You are going to translate a section of this book into runes, since you struggled to complete an accurate translation during class yesterday."

"Technically, my translation was perfectly correct," James pointed out. "It was Aubrey's translation that I tweaked a bit that was not technically accurate, although I still maintain that it was better that way."

"That's enough, Potter," she said sternly. "I've given you a copy of Spellman's Syllabary for reference. You are to translate the passage as it appears without altering or adding anything. Is the task clear?"

"Crystal," he said, giving her a thumbs up before opening both books and dipping his quill into the ink.

"Miss Macdonald, you are to write an essay detailing the reasons it is inadvisable to wander the corridors after hours," Professor Babbling continued. "No less than a foot of parchment, please."

Mary sighed but nodded, setting to work on what promised to be a long and boring task. After about five minutes she had a few sentences about the possibility of losing house points if caught out of bounds at night, but her attention was diverted when she noticed James pull something out of his pocket. He glanced at Professor Babbling, and, noticing she was deeply absorbed in whatever she was reading, he turned to face Mary.

"You hungry, Macdonald?" he hissed.

"A bit," she admitted. "Did you bring snacks?"

"No, Sirius is supposed to bring us some, remember?" James reminded her. "What do you want?"

"Er," she began, looking at him strangely. How did he plan to place an order for specific snacks when Sirius was, as far as she knew, well out of earshot back in the common room. "Whatever is fine, I guess."

"You should really be more specific, otherwise he'll bring you the most random assortment of food you could imagine. He once brought Peter a chicken leg, treacle tart, and a jar of peanut butter." He grinned fondly. "I'm not kidding."

"All right," Mary said, still uncertain what James intended to do with her answer. "Some biscuits, I suppose?"

"Right." He looked down at the object he had taken out of his pocket, which Mary now saw was a mirror, and said softly but clearly, "Sirius Black."

For a moment nothing happened, and Mary stared at him blankly. Then, to her surprise, Sirius's face appeared in the mirror.

"Hullo, Prongs," he said, the volume of his voice jarring in the quiet classroom. "How's detention?"

Professor Babbling looked up in confusion, and James hastily hid the mirror under one of his books.

"No talking, Mr. Potter," she said, before adjusting her spectacles and returning to her reading.

"Keep your voice down, you prat," James admonished him, after sliding the mirror out from under the book.

"Sorry," Sirius said, more quietly this time. "What's she got you doing?"

"Translating some random passages into runes," James whispered back. "And Macdonald's got to write an essay on the dangers of wandering the corridors at night."

"Ooh, make sure she includes a paragraph on the temptation of empty broom cupboards, which can lead innocent students down a path of premarital sex, teen pregnancy, STDs, and loss of self-respect," Sirius said solemnly.

"Tell her yourself," James replied, pointing the mirror so Sirius could see Mary's reflection in it. "Hi, Macdonald," Sirius said softly. "You should write a paragraph about-"

"Got it, thanks," she said, trying to stifle her laughter.

"Hang on, Prongs? Can you tilt the mirror forward a bit?" Sirius brought his face closer to the mirror and cocked his head to the side. "A bit more, a bit more, there, perfect!" He gave a thumbs up and grinned wickedly. James glanced in the direction the mirror was now pointed and laughed.

"Nice, Padfoot," he replied, returning the thumbs up.

"What?" Mary asked. She looked at the mirror and followed the angle it was pointing, then took in the mischievous expressions on both boys' faces and rolled her eyes. "You've got that pointing right down my shirt, don't you?"

"Why am I hearing your voice, Miss Macdonald?" Babbling asked sharply.

"She was asking for ideas for her essay," James replied promptly. "Since I'm a bit of an expert at roaming the corridors after hours."

"Hmm," she said, frowning suspiciously. "Well, please keep talking to a minimum." She returned to her reading; it appeared to be some sort of magazine.

"Can either of you see what she's reading?" Sirius whispered, once they had remained silent for several minutes.

"What? Who cares what she's reading? You're meant to be taking our snack order," James said impatiently.

"Oh, right. Well, place your orders, but then please try to check and see what Babbling is reading, if you can manage it."

"Macdonald would like an assortment of biscuits, and I'd like a sandwich if at all possible," James said, then after some consideration he added, "and maybe an apple as well."

"Your wish is my command," Sirius said, chuckling.

Mary stood and walked slowly over to the desk. She waited patiently for Professor Babbling to look up. When she finally noticed Mary standing there, Professor Babbling raised her eyebrows and Mary smiled politely.

"Excuse me, Professor? Sorry to bother you, but I just had a quick question about the essay. Did you want me to discuss reasons why it's inadvisable to wander the corridors at night at other schools, or just at Hogwarts?"

"In general is fine, Miss Macdonald," Babbling replied with a touch of impatience.

"Okay, cheers," Mary said, heading back to her seat. As she passed James's desk she bent close to the mirror and whispered, "She's reading Witch Weekly."

"I knew it!" Sirius said triumphantly, then clapped his hand over his mouth when he realized how loudly he'd spoken. "Sorry. All right, I'll be there with snacks in approximately 20 minutes. Be ready for the diversion."

"We'll be ready. See you soon, mate," James said, slipping the mirror back underneath the book.

"What does he mean, be ready for the diversion?" Mary asked.

"Who knows. If he doesn't give specific instructions, it's usually pretty easy to figure out. Guess we'll see when he gets here." James shrugged and returned to his translation, and after a moment Mary did the same. Time passed slowly, with only the scratching of their quills and the occasional turn of a page to break the silence. Mary found herself struggling to keep her eyes open, and was beginning to suspect that Sirius had forgotten about them, when a loud clanging sound outside the classroom rent the sleepy quiet of the evening.

"What's going on?" Professor Babbling cried, jumping to her feet and almost knocking over her chair.

"Want me to go investigate?" James offered, flashing her his most chivalrous Gryffindor grin.

"No, that's all right, Mr. Potter, I'll go," she said, striding briskly out of the room. James and Mary waited, not daring to speak, as they heard her footsteps echoing down the hallway.

"Hello, you delinquents," said a familiar voice, and they both turned to see Sirius leaning against the door frame, clutching an assortment of snacks to his chest.

"Hurry up, Padfoot, she'll be back soon," said Remus, peeking his head through the doorway and smiling anxiously. "You two doing all right? Enjoying detention?"

"We can't complain," James said cheerfully. "We've missed your sexy arses, though. Is Wormtail on lookout duty?"

"Yup," Sirius confirmed. "He's supposed to squeak like a rat when she's heading back." He crossed the room and deposited his armful of food onto Mary's desk, then bent down and kissed her, twining his hand through her hair and letting his other hand drift down to the skin exposed by the top buttons of her shirt that she liked to leave undone.

"What was that for?" she asked when he finally pulled away. A faint flush had tinged her chest and face with color, and she was slightly breathless.

He shrugged. "I dunno, I just felt like it. I think detention suits you." He studied her for a moment, letting his eyes linger a bit longer than was strictly necessary, and nodded in confirmation of his previous statement.

"Does detention suit me?" James asked, running a hand through his hair and adopting what he must have believed to be a macho, suave pose.

"Absolutely. In fact, I think we should get Evans to catch a glimpse of you serving detention - I bet she'd drop everything and snog you right then and there," Sirius said, straightfaced.

Remus snorted with laughter. "You're a genius, Padfoot. I can't believe we've never thought of that before."

Before Sirius could retort, a high-pitched squeaking could be heard from outside the classroom, and Sirius and Remus immediately became businesslike again.

"Gotta go. Be good, you two, and enjoy your snacks," Sirius called over his shoulder as he hurried out the door. Remus merely waved, still chuckling softly but attempting to stifle the sound. After a minute, Professor Babbling returned, wearing a cross expression and shaking her head.

"Did you find the source of the disturbance, Professor?" James asked earnestly.

"Someone dropped a suit of armor down a staircase," she replied, her face creased with irritation. "I didn't catch the culprit, but I suspect Peeves. Anyway, sorry for the interruption. Please continue with your tasks." She settled back into her seat and opened her Witch Weekly magazine once again, not seeming to notice the pile of food on Mary's desk.

Mary and James glanced at each other, then over at Babbling. As the coast seemed to be clear, Mary handed James the sandwich and apple he had requested, then selected a biscuit for herself and hid the rest under her parchment. She took a bite, doing her best to chew quietly.

"Hey, Macdonald?" James asked, his mouth full of sandwich. "You think Evans would really think detention suits me?" He spoke in his usual flippant tone, but the loom of urgency on his face revealed his true feelings.

She smiled. "Honestly, I think she's really starting to like you, she just doesn't realize it yet."

James's eyes widened and filled with an earnest hope that was almost heartbreaking. "Really?" he asked, beaming. "So how do I make her realize it?"

"That is an excellent question, and one I don't have an answer to," Mary admitted. "I think you'll just have to let things play out."

"I suppose I will," James agreed. He glanced at her, his lips turning up in a smug, knowing smile that made Mary wonder what secret knowledge he possessed.

"What's that look for?" she asked, her eyes narrowed in suspicion.

He shrugged. "Oh, nothing. You'll just have to let things play out, that's all."

"Quiet, Potter," Babbling said, glancing up from her magazine. "You're both out of here in an hour, so finish up your tasks so I don't have to keep you longer."

"Right, because she has such important things to do," James muttered, eying her Witch Weekly pointedly, but he nevertheless set to work finishing his translation.

Mary watched curiously him for a minute, unable to make sense of the sly smile he still wore, but eventually returned to her own task. For some reason she kept replaying the kiss with Sirius over and over in her head, and she let the pleasant memory sustain her throughout the rest of her time in detention.


	13. Chapter 13

Sunday, February 27, 1977

"Looks like it snowed at least a foot overnight," Peter observed, peering out the common room window through the frost that covered the glass. "And it hasn't let up yet."

"I love when it snows," Remus said. He glanced up from his book and watched the snow slowly blanketing the grounds outside the window, a contented smile brightening his pale face. "It's perfect reading weather."

"It really is, isn't it?" Lily agreed, tucking her blanket tighter around herself. "It makes me feel so cozy." She sighed happily and turned a page of her book.

Remus opened a chocolate bar and broke off a piece, then passed it to Lily wordlessly. She smiled and broke off a piece for herself. They both chewed slowly, savoring the taste of the chocolate and the warmth of the fire.

"You know, sometimes I feel like you two are the same person," James remarked thoughtfully.

"Shit, you're right, Prongs," Sirius said. He watched as Remus popped the rest of his chocolate into his mouth before pulling his baggy cardigan sleeve over his hand so that only the tips of his fingers peeked out.

"Definitely the same," Peter agreed, nodding.

"But if they're the same person, how come you've never asked out Lupin?" Mary pointed out. She lay on her stomach in front of the fire; she had one of her textbooks spread out in front of her, but apparently she had run out of motivation, because she had taken no further steps to complete any homework. "Actually, he has a nicer arse than Lily, if I'm being honest."

Remus chuckled and looked at her strangely. "Er, thanks?"

"You're quite welcome," Mary said without even the barest hint of embarrassment. "I definitely wouldn't throw you out of bed."

"Are you saying I have a flat arse?" Lily asked indignantly, setting down her book and crossing her arms.

"Technically I didn't come out and say it, I only implied it," Mary pointed out.

"Don't listen to her, Evans," James said bracingly. "Your arse is lovely. Not that, you know, I've been looking."

Lily shook her head and picked up her book again. "I've had enough of this odd conversation. I'm going back to reading."

"Me too," Remus agreed, settling into his chair.

"Enjoy the next half hour of reading, because after that we're going sledding," James announced.

"Oh, are we?" said Lily. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were making decisions for all of us now."

"That's all right, now you know," James replied cheerfully.

"Where do you propose we get sleds?" Mary asked. "Unless you happen to have some just lying around."

"As a matter of fact, I do," James said. "There are only four, so some of us will have to double up."

"Let me guess," Lily said, rolling her eyes but not quite managing to hide the slight smile playing at her lips. "You're going to suggest that I share a sled with you."

"Actually, I was hoping to share with Remus," James said. "But if you insist, Evans, I suppose we can share instead. Now, I'll stop bothering you so you can enjoy your uninterrupted half hour of reading before we go."

Lily sighed and glanced at Remus. "What do you think, should we just give in and go now?"

"Yeah, we may as well," Remus agreed, closing his book and getting to his feet, then offering Lily a hand up. "But when we come back in, we're reading for the rest of the evening, and you better not bother us. That means you, Padfoot! No asking questions about the plot of the book, and then making comments about how boring or silly it sounds." He stared at Sirius pointedly.

"I would never do such a thing," Sirius protested.

"We promise not to bother you," James said. "In fact, we'll shout at anyone who does. Now let's get going."

A short time later they all stood gathered at the top of the hill behind the Quidditch pitch, bundled in multiple layers and dragging four sleds. Snow fell slowly and collected in their hair, and the brisk February air brightened their cheeks and numbed their fingers.

"Want to go first, Padfoot?" James asked. "Test out the conditions?"

"Why not," Sirius said, hopping onto the sled. James gave him a push, and the sled began to inch slowly down the hill, gathering speed as it went, so that by the end Sirius was flying and had to jump off at the last second to avoid crashing into a tree. He stood, dusting snow from his knees, and gave them a thumbs up.

"This seems a bit dangerous," Lily pointed out, eyeing the trees at the bottom of the hill pointedly.

"I mean, it's us," James replied. "Most of what we do is a bit dangerous." He turned to Remus and Peter. "You two want to go next and race down? Evans and I will give you a push."

After Remus and Peter hurtled down the hill and came to a stop at the bottom where Sirius declared Peter the winner, James gestured at the last sled. "You two can go next. Just keep an eye on how close you're getting to the trees, and be prepared to jump off if you need to, because if you don't it's not pretty." He grinned and pointed down the hill. "See that big tree next to where Peter's standing? I hit it at full speed. I was standing up on the sled, because Sirius did it, so of course I had to try. I stayed upright the whole time, it was brilliant, but I was so excited that I'd managed it that I forgot to jump off before the tree." He grimaced.

"Were you hurt?" Mary asked.

"Not too bad. I broke my glasses and was a bit bruised and cut up, but I've had worse. It could have been bad, though, so keep your wits about you, all right?"

"We'll be fine," Lily assured him. She settled herself onto the sled and gestured for Mary to sit behind her. Mary squeezed onto the back of the sled and wrapped her arms around Lily's waist. She felt a delicious thrill of anticipation as James gave the sled a shove and they started the descent down the hill. As the sled picked up speed, the wind tugged at her hair and the falling snow obscured her vision so she could hardly tell where they were going. She tightened her grip on Lily and let out an involuntary shriek of fear and exhilaration.

"Are we heading for the tree?" she asked, her mouth close to Lily's ear.

"I can't exactly tell," Lily admitted. "I think we'd better jump off just to be safe."

"Now?" Mary asked.

"Let's go on the count of three," Lily replied. "One, two, three!" Mary released her arms from around Lily's waist and flung herself off to the right as far from the sled as she could, and out of the corner of her eye she saw Lily jump in the opposite direction. For a moment, time slowed down and she felt weightless as her body flew through the air. Then she landed hard, sending a puff of powdery snow into the air as her body hit the ground. She heard whoops and cheers, and blinking to try to clear the snow from her eyes, she looked up to see Sirius standing over her and grinning.

"Well done, Macdonald," Sirius said, grasping her hand and heaving her to her feet. "You got some real air when you jumped off. You didn't actually have to jump off, as you weren't even close to the tree, but still, it looked rather impressive."

"I couldn't see shit, and I don't think Lily could either," Mary explained, chuckling and shaking the snow from her clothes. She noticed a few snowflakes resting on Sirius's long eyelashes; she also noticed how irresistible he looked, with his cheeks flushed from the cold and snow collecting on the shoulders of his leather jacket.

"Aren't you cold?" she asked, brushing snow from his jacket and tugging on a half-frozen lock of hair. "You're hardly dressed for the weather."

"I'm never cold," Sirius said indifferently. "I can't stand wearing a bunch of layers - it's not really my style." He adjusted her red and gold woolen hat, which had been disarranged when she jumped off the sled. "The bundled up look suits you, though."

She laughed and looked at him skeptically. "Oh, yeah, wearing two jumpers and having melting snow dripping down my neck is the sexy look I was going for today."

He shrugged. "It's working for me," he said, then he leaned in and kissed her, warming her numb lips and making her heart race even faster than when she had believed herself about to crash into a tree. When he pulled away, he smiled at her for a moment, then grabbed her gloved hand and led her back up the hill.

"Let's go, Padfoot. You and Macdonald versus me and Evans," James said, taking a seat on one of the sleds and motioning for Lily to join him.

"All right," Sirius agreed, sitting down at the back of the sled. "You go in front, Macdonald. It'll make us more aerodynamic."

"But if we crash, I'll be the first to die," she said, nevertheless grinning and sitting down in front of Sirius.

"Then I just won't let us crash," Sirius replied, wrapping his arms tightly around her waist. "Moony, give us a push, will you?"

Remus obliged, while Peter gave James and Lily a push. After a slow start, the two sleds picked up speed until the four passengers were careering down the hill. Mary felt her hair pull free from her hat as the wind whipped her face and chilled her body, and could barely tell where they were going, but she found she did not care. She felt safe with Sirius's arms holding her, and she closed her eyes and let herself enjoy the moment of pure, exhilarated bliss.

Eventually, she felt the sled slowing down, and she opened her eyes to see they had come to a stop at the bottom of the hill, perilously close to the tree.

"Why didn't you have us jump off?" Mary demanded.

"Cause I knew we weren't going to hit it," Sirius replied, completely unconcerned. "We beat them, too, absolutely no contest." He pointed a short distance away at James and Lily, both sprawled on the show on their backs after apparently having ditched the sled to avoid hitting the tree. They both watched as James leaned over and said something inaudible to Lily, who giggled before grabbing a fistful of snow and mashing it into his hair. James let out an undignified shriek, then attempted to force snow down the back of Lily's jacket.

"I wish they would go ahead and date already," Mary muttered to Sirius, watching their two friends flirt with a wistful expression on her face. "They'd be so cute together."

"You don't have to convince me," Sirius replied. "I want it to happen almost as much as James does. It's Evans who's holding out. Maybe you could put in a good word?"

Mary laughed. "I've been putting in a good word for over a year, not that it's done any good, as I apparently have terrible taste in men and can't be trusted to give romantic advice." She paused, watching Lily show James the correct way to make a snow angel. "Maybe I should tell her she's been right all along, James Potter is an arrogant git and she'd be better off dating literally anyone else in the school. You know? Because so far when I've given her advice she does the opposite, so maybe it will work the other way?"

"Hmmm," Sirius mused. "It's an idea. Can't hurt to try, I suppose, but something tells me Evans isn't going to fall for that. She's bloody stubborn."

Mary sighed. "So bloody stubborn. Oh well, I suppose we'll have to just be patient."

"Patience is not a trait I have an abundance of," Sirius said, grinning and starting up the hill again. "Come on, let's have another go. I think we can go even faster if Remus gets a running start."

When they reached the top of the hill, they found Remus and Peter avidly watching James and Lily throwing snowballs at each other.

"You seeing this, Padfoot?" Remus asked.

"Sure am," Sirius confirmed. "Best thing I've seen in a while, except maybe when I saw you walk into the common room wearing four jumpers earlier, beating your previous record of three jumpers at once."

"Well, it's bloody cold out here," Remus replied.

"I know, I know, I just enjoy giving you shit." He pulled his wand from his pocket and Summoned the sled, then positioned it so they had the best chance of avoiding both the tree and James and Lily, who seemed to be in the exact state of flirtatious obliviousness that would prevent them from noticing a sled hurtling toward them at top speed. "Can you give us another push, but this time get a running start?" Sirius asked. "I want to see if we can go a bit faster. I swear once I got the sled to lift off the ground going over that bumpy bit in the middle of the hill."

"What if you sit in the front?" Peter suggested, tearing his eyes away from James and Lily to join the conversation. "Maybe if there's more weight in the front it will let the sled pick up more speed."

"Is that a bloody fat joke?" Sirius asked, assuming an offended air, then dismissing Peter's spluttered reply with a wave of his hand. "No, it's fine, Wormtail, just don't be surprised if Clarence makes a reappearance." He hopped on the sled and slid all the way to the front, leaving room for Mary to sit behind him. "Even though I found your suggestion horribly offensive, I'll try it anyway, just for kicks."

Mary squeezed in behind him and held on tight, then a moment later she felt the sled shoot forward after Remus gave it a hard shove. She heard Remus and Peter cheering them on, but their voices already sounded muted and far away as the sled rocketed down the hill. Sirius let out a gleeful whoop as the sled hit a small bump and was airborne for a few seconds.

"That was brilliant, wasn't it?" he said, turning around to face her, and before she had a chance to respond his mouth was on hers. She reached up and tangled her fingers in his slightly frozen hair, and his breath felt warm on her chilled skin. For a few moments they both savored the intoxicating feeling of being pulled swiftly and inexorably toward potential bodily harm and yet not caring in the slightest. Mary closed her eyes and thought wildly that this might be the happiest she had ever been.

Then everything came to a jarring halt as the sled hit the tree with a sickening crunch. Mary was thrown forward; her face hit the tree trunk before she slumped sideways into the snow, slightly dazed and afraid to move.

"Bloody hell, that might have been the dumbest thing I've ever done," she heard Sirius say from somewhere to her left. "Prongs, did you see that?"

"Did you start snogging and forget you were on a sled, you prat?" James asked, sounding both incredulous and amused.

"I did!" Sirius confirmed, almost proud.

Mary blinked several times, then rubbed snow and what she suspected might be blood from her eyes. She saw Sirius laying flat on his back a few feet away, examining a cut on his knuckles and laughing hysterically. He heaved himself to his feet, stumbling several times because he was laughing so hard, and offered her a hand up. The laughter died in his throat as he took in the sight of her.

"Shit, Macdonald, are you all right?" He had split his lip in the crash, and a droplet of blood rolled slowly down his face to drip onto the snow, the bright red contrasting sharply against the fluffy white powder.

"I dunno," she answered honestly. "I think I might be bleeding." She grabbed into his hand and got to her feet unsteadily.

"Are you the sort of girl who panics when you see blood?" Sirius asked, keeping his tone casual.

"No, not really," she replied, reaching up to touch her face, then pulling her hand away to find blood spotting her gloves. "I am bleeding." All of a sudden she realized there was a dull, throbbing pain in her face. "My nose is broken, isn't it?"

"Most likely," Sirius said calmly.

"Merlin, you look a mess!" Lily called shrilly, rushing over to peer at Mary's face, then rounding on Sirius. "Why would you think snogging on a moving sled is a good idea?"

"Don't shout at me, Evans, I'm injured, too!" Sirius argued, pointing at his split lip. "Besides, Macdonald didn't exactly tell me to sod off and steer the sled - she had her hand down my bloody trousers!"

"Whose hand was down whose trousers?" Peter asked, hopping off the sled that he and Remus had ridden down the hill when they noticed something had gone amiss.

"Bertha Jorkins's hand was down your trousers, Pete, if I remember correctly," Sirius retorted, smirking.

"Is this your fault, Padfoot?" Remus asked, giving Mary a sympathetic look.

"Are we just going to stand around talking, or are we going to take her to the hospital wing?" Lily asked, gesturing at the blood now flowing freely down Mary's face and onto her coat.

"No need," James said, drawing his wand. "Unless you'd like to do it, Padfoot?" He raises his eyebrows at Sirius.

"Nah, you better take this one, you're better at it," Sirius said. "Macdonald has a rather adorable nose. I'd hate to be the reason it's crooked."

"Fair enough," James said, before pointing his wand at Mary's nose and saying " _Episki_."

"How do you know how to do that?" Mary asked, feeling her nose gingerly and finding it entirely healed. "We haven't learned any healing spells yet."

James and Sirius glanced at each other meaningfully, then grinned.

"It comes in handy, considering all the reckless shit we do," Sirius answered.

"Sometimes it's not exactly advisable to go to the hospital wing," James added. "So we've learned to do a few things ourselves. Sirius is the best at healing cuts."

"Are you?" Mary's eyes widened slightly in surprise.

"I'm a man of many talents," Sirius replied, winking at her.

"And you're the official broken nose mender?" said Lily.

"Not just broken noses," Peter put in, the admiration in his voice impossible to miss. "He did Sirius's arm once."

"How'd you break your arm?" Lily asked, but Sirius grinned and shook his head.

"Sorry, Evans. Can't tell you, otherwise we'd have to kill you," James replied. He ran a hand through his hair. "You look impressed."

She met his eye, then glanced away, her cheeks slightly pink. "Well, it is rather impressive," she admitted.

"You shouldn't have said that," Remus warned her, nodding his head in James's direction. "Now it's going to go to his head."

"Oh, hush, Moony, when have I ever let anything go to my head?"Although James tried to keep his tone neutral, he couldn't suppress the huge smile that lit up his face."Anyone up for a four way race before it gets too dark and we're forced to go in for a riveting night of reading?" James, Remus, Peter, and Lily trudged up the hill while Sirius and Mary stayed behind to judge the race. Mary reached up and touched Sirius's split lip gently.

"Are you going to fix this later so I can be impressed by your mysterious ability to perform advanced magic?"

Sirius grinned, then grimaced as the motion caused his lip to start bleeding again. "If you're lucky," he replied.

"How's my nose look?" she asked. "Crooked?"

He scrutinized her face, then shook his head. "Not even a little. James knows what he's doing. Although you're still covered in blood. You look a bit like the Bloody Baron, actually."

She laughed. "Brilliant. Does it suit me? Is the Bloody Baron look doing it for you?"

He tilted his head slightly to the side and looked at her for a moment, then nodded. "You know what, it actually is." He chuckled. "What the fuck is wrong with me?"

She shrugged. "Nothing really, except you're possibly the horniest person I've ever met. But that's all right, I rather like it." She slipped her hands into his front pockets.

"Now who's the horny one?"

"Shut up, Black," she replied, grinning. "I'm keeping my hands warm."

They both turned, then hastily jumped out of the way as their four friends came rushing down the hill, laughing and cheering.

"Shit," Mary muttered. "We were meant to be judging the race, weren't we?"

"We were," Sirius said. "Did you happen to see who won?"

"Nope," Mary replied, shaking her head. "Did you?"

"Nope." Sirius grinned. "Want to just say Remus won, then?"

"Why Remus?"

Sirius shrugged. "I dunno, I just feel like out of all of us, he could use a win, you know?"

Mary looked at Remus, clad in his many layers, with his pale face flushed from the cold and lit up with laughter, then glanced at Sirius and smiled. "Yeah, all right."

"It was Moony, no contest!" Sirius called, bounding over to join the group. "None of you tossers even came close!"


	14. Chapter 14

Wednesday, March 9, 1977

"Fuck today," Sirius growled as he dropped his bag onto the floor and collapsed into his armchair. "Fuck this entire bloody day."

"That bad?" Mary asked sympathetically from her seat across from him. "I don't suppose you want to do homework, then?"

"Absolutely not." Sirius rested his head against the back of his chair and let his eyes drift shut for a moment. "I don't think I could even manage it right now, to be honest. I can hardly think with this bloody headache." He sighed and rubbed his temples slowly.

"I'm sorry, although I can't say I'm surprised. I don't think I've ever seen you that drunk. Which is saying something, because, well, it's you." She smiled apologetically and brushed a lock of hair out of her face.

Sirius opened his eyes and frowned at her. "Did I see you last night, then?" He tried to piece together the jumbled, painful memories of last night, but he could not remember any interaction with Mary.

"You don't remember?" she asked. "Well, I guess that shouldn't surprise me. Like I said, you were drunk off your arse - you could barely even stand. I helped James bring you up to bed, because Lupin and Pettigrew were down at dinner." She laughed softly. "I almost fell and broke my neck, because you decided to sit down with absolutely no warning and almost took me with you, but I survived, so no harm done."

"Fuck, I'm sorry," Sirius said, heaving another sigh. "I had a pretty rough afternoon. Getting drunk seemed like the only logical solution."  
"I know," Mary said. "You told me."

"Of course I did." Sirius shook his head in disgust, then grimaced as it increased the pounding in his head. "What exactly did I say?" He bit his lip, dreading her answer; yesterday he had achieved the precise level of drunkenness that made him want to reveal thoughts and feelings he would not usually even let himself think about consciously, and he hated to think what he might have told Mary in this vulnerable state of mind.

"There's no need to look like that," Mary said, correctly reading his expression of trepidation. "You didn't say anything embarrassing. You just kind of looked at me funny and said, 'I'm sad, Macdonald,' so I asked why, and you told me about how your brother told you about your uncle dying, and how he doesn't reckon you should go to the funeral but you're going to anyway because, well, because you're you." She grinned, then her face turned serious again. "And you told me how you and James had a heart to heart, and you were saying what a good mate he is, which was very sweet, and quite accurate, as he'd basically just carried you all the way across the grounds and up to the common room. And then you said something about the Cannons, but you sort of stopped making sense at that point, so I didn't really catch that bit."

Sirius smiled faintly. "My uncle was a Cannons supporter. That's why I started supporting them. He took me to see them when I was little. It was my first ever Quidditch game. They lost - I know, big surprise. But it's still a good memory." He stared moodily into the fire, watching the flames slowly devouring the logs, and didn't speak for a few minutes. When he finally shook himself from his reverie, he glanced at Mary and found that she had been watching him, her expression slightly apprehensive.

"Sorry, I'm being a bit of a moody git, aren't I?" he asked.

"Nah, you're all right," she replied. "Do you want to go to the prefects' bathroom and get drunk? It really cheered me up when I was having a bad day."

He shook his head. "I can't. I've got to go serve detention with McGonagall later for skipping her class yesterday. I can't turn up drunk." He returned his gaze to the fire. "Besides, I don't think I want to be cheered up, if that makes sense."

Mary wrapped a curl around and around her finger thoughtfully. "Yeah, I understand that," she replied. "What do you want to do, then?"

Sirius stared silently into the fire for a moment before answering. "I think I'd like to take a fucking nap, to be honest." He hesitated. "If you want to stay down here and do your homework, or, you know, whatever else, go for it, but if you'd like to come take a nap with me, that would be all right too." He stared determinedly into the fire, afraid this suggestion would be seen as a violation of their agreement, but to his surprise he found his view of the fire obstructed by Mary's body as she offered him a hand up.  
"Come on, let's go take a nap, then," she said, helping him to his feet.

When they reached the common room, Sirius tugged off his boots and tossed them unceremoniously onto the floor, then threw back the covers and crawled into bed, not bothering to remove his clothes. Mary stripped down into her underclothes and slid into bed next to him, curling into his body and resting her head on his chest.

"I'm sorry, Black," she murmured, draping her leg over his and trying to keep her hair from tickling his face.

"Don't be sorry," he replied, kissing the top of her head gently. "You're helping." He exhaled, feeling some of the tension and sadness leaving his body as he relaxed into the familiar warmth of his bed and the even more familiar warmth of Mary's body against his. He felt an almost irresistible urge to say more, but found he could not find the words to express what he was feeling, so instead he pulled her closer to him and let himself drift to sleep, momentarily escaping from his problems and his pain.

Saturday, March 19, 1977

"I'm bored," Sirius remarked, scowling across the room at a pair of third years arguing loudly over a game of gobstones. "Let's do something."

"Want to play chess?" Peter suggested, but Sirius laughed mirthlessly.

"Do I look like I'm in the mood to play fucking chess?" he said, rolling his eyes.

"How about Exploding Snap?" Remus asked, but Sirius shook his head.  
"Want to sneak into Hogsmeade?" James offered, glancing around surreptitiously and lowering his voice so nobody would overhear.

"Nah, too much work," Sirius replied. "I don't feel like walking all the way there."

After Sirius shot down several more suggestions, the other three Marauders gave up and continued on with their night. Peter and James played several games of chess and Remus immersed himself in _The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes_ while Sirius glowered into the fire and sipped from his flask.

"Hi," Mary said, stepping through the portrait hole with Lily close behind her and joining the Marauders by the fire. She leaned against the arm of Sirius's chair and took in his grumpy expression. "What are you lot up to?"

"Sitting around doing bloody nothing," Sirius replied, taking a swig from his flask and glaring at his friends. "I'm bored off my arse, and nobody wants to do anything."

Peter opened his mouth to say something, but closed it immediately after Remus nudged him and cleared his throat. Mary glanced at James, and they shared a meaningful look.

"Would you like to come up to the Astronomy Tower with me?" Mary asked, keeping her tone light. "We can throw dungbombs, or snog, or smoke while you falsely identify constellations, whatever you like."

Sirius glanced at her, then shook his head. "No, I don't think so."

Mary continued, undeterred. "Want to go up to your dormitory, then?" She leaned in to murmur into his ear. "I got new lace knickers. I think you'll like them. Or if you don't, that's fine too, I'll just take them off." She rested her hand on his inner thigh, but he brushed it away.

"Give it a rest, Macdonald," he muttered, glancing at her with a disdainful expression before returning to staring dully into the fire.

Mary shrugged, realizing any further attempts to distract Sirius from his foul mood would be a complete waste of time. "All right, suit yourself," she replied, straightening and tossing back her hair before heading for the portrait hole again. "See you later," she called over her shoulder before exiting the common room.

"Where's she off to, then?" Sirius asked, slightly surprised by her sudden departure.

"She's meeting Eddie Edgecombe," Lily said from her spot on the floor in front of the fire. She had pulled a book from her bag and had it open to a marked page, but did not begin reading. "We ran into him in the library earlier, and they made plans to meet up."

"What does she want with him?" James asked, frowning. "He's the worst player on the Ravenclaw team, and that's saying something, seeing as they only have one good player to begin with."

"I don't think she's meeting up with him to discuss Quidditch plays," Lily pointed out, glancing sideways at Sirius. "They were going to meet in that unused classroom on the second floor."

"So why was she badgering me to do something, if she had plans anyway?" Sirius asked, pulling a piece of parchment from his pocket and slowly shredding it into tiny pieces. "What, was she trying to make me jealous or something? She knows I don't give a shit what she does. If she wants to be a bloody tart, what do I care?"

"Don't be stupid, of course she wasn't trying to make you jealous," Lily snapped. "She was going to ditch Edgecombe if you hadn't blown her off like a complete prat."

"Leave him alone, Evans," James warned, his eyes darting to Sirius and back, but Sirius held up a hand.  
"No, Prongs, if she wants to have a go at me, that's fine. You don't all have to bloody tiptoe around me like I'm going to lose it at any second." He tossed the shredded bits of parchment into the fire and stood, turning to face Lily. "Now, go on, Evans. If you think I'm a prat, just say so."

"All right," she said, also standing and squaring up to Sirius. He had at least six inches on her, but with her hands on her hips and her green eyes blazing, she managed to look rather intimidating. "I do think you're being a prat."

"Oh yeah?" Sirius replied, his voice rising. "Why's that?"

"Because you've been treating your friends like shit all week, when they've just been trying to help."

"I have not-" Sirius began, but Lily spoke over him.

"Yes you bloody have, don't give me that rubbish! Last night you about took Remus's head off when he asked if you wanted to get a snack from the kitchens."

"It doesn't matter. Really, it's fine," Remus said quickly, but Lily shook her head.

"No it's not fine! And then the day before that you knocked Peter's entire chess board onto the floor when he beat you-"

"He fixed the piece that broke!" Peter said in an almost pleading tone, watching Sirius's expression anxiously. "I don't care."

"Well I care," Lily insisted. "And now Mary comes around to try to take your mind off things, but you brush her aside, then get annoyed when she goes off with another bloke."

"I wasn't annoyed," Sirius protested.

"Yes you bloody were!" Lily shot back. "You called her a tart, and she's been a good friend to you and deserves better than that. Just because you're having a hard time does not give you the right to take it out on other people."

"Evans, for fuck's sake!" James interjected. "Lay off, will you?"

"It's fine, I'm leaving anyway," Sirius said, stalking across the common room and out the portrait hole. They heard a muffled thump and a cry of outrage, then caught Sirius's voice shouting, "Oh, fuck off, you old hag."

"You don't think he punched the portrait, do you?" Remus asked.

"Must have done," James sighed, running a hand through his hair in irritation. "Bloody idiot, now she's not going to let him back in, I'll bet she's furious." He rounded on Lily. "Why did you have to shout at him like that? His uncle just died! And there was a huge row at the funeral. He's a fucking mess."

"I know, and I feel badly, I really do," Lily replied. "But that doesn't excuse his behavior. Like he said, I'm not going to sit here and tiptoe around him like the rest of you. If he's being a miserable arsehole, I'm going to say so, and if he's going to react to that by storming off and punching an innocent portrait, that's his problem, not mine." She sat back down and opened her book, but after a moment she glanced up again and frowned. "Aren't you going after him?"

James met her gaze and widened his eyes slightly. "Not now," he said darkly. "I'd say he needs at least a half hour to cool down. But if you think you know better than me, by all means, go ahead." He gestured at the portrait hole, but Lily rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"No, no, you're the Sirius Black expert," she replied loftily before returning to her book.

Almost an hour later, James glanced at his watch, then set down his Exploding Snap cards and stood.

"All right, I'm off. See you lot in a bit." He started for the portrait hole, but stopped when Lily called out to him.

"Hang on! Do you think I should - that is, would it be helpful if I came with you?" She hesitated for a fraction of a second. "I suppose I could apologize."

James shook his head. "Definitely not. That would be a disaster." He grinned when he noticed the aggrieved expression on Lily's face. "No offense. I mean, it's nice of you to offer, it's just best if I go alone." He returned to their spot in front of the fire and picked up his discarded Exploding Snap cards.  
"Here," he said, handing them to Lily. "You play in my place. Take a break from reading for a bit and do something fun, yeah?"

"Reading is fun," she protested, but he made no reply, already halfway to the portrait hole.

The Marauder's Map was tucked away in James's trunk, but he did not need it to locate Sirius. There were several spots within the castle and grounds where Sirius liked to escape to, but James had a feeling that tonight his friend had fled to the Astronomy Tower. When he finally reached the top of the tower staircase, he pulled open the heavy door and stepped out into the chilly evening air. At first the tower appeared empty, and James spent a few moments running through all the other possible locations he would need to check. He spotted the burning tip of a cigarette and a curl of smoke before he noticed his friend stretched out flat on his back and staring up at the starry expanse of sky.

"Hullo, Prongs," Sirius said, keeping his eyes fixed upward.

"Hey," James replied, sprawling out on the cold stone next to Sirius.

Wordlessly, Sirius offered him the pack of cigarettes, but James waved them away. Sirius returned them to his pocket, and pulled out the flask, which James accepted. They lay there without speaking for a few minutes; the night was silent except for the rustle of leaves blowing in the wind and the occasional slosh of the liquid in the flask as the two boys drank. Finally, Sirius sighed and ground out his cigarette.

"I'm an insufferable git," he remarked, glancing over at James for the first time.

"Nah, you're not," James replied, grinning.  
"I am," Sirius insisted. "I've been that way for the past week, and it's not fair to you and Moony and Wormtail, when you've just been trying to cheer me up. It's not your fault that my uncle had to go and die, and my mother decided to start a row at the bloody funeral, and I can't manage to have a normal conversation with anyone without shouting or storming off." He sighed and lit another cigarette. "And then here comes Evans, all fired up and self-righteous and shouting at me in front of the entire common room."

"She was out of line, mate," James said.

"No, she wasn't," Sirius argued. " That's the thing. I can't even feel properly angry at her because she's right. She's right, and she's the only one who has the stones to to call me out and tell me I'm being a fucking arsehole." He took a long drag on his cigarette. "I'm just... Fuck, I'm so bloody angry all the time."

"I know," James said, glancing over at him.

"Why am I like this?" Sirius asked, taking a large gulp from the flask.

James paused, considering. "Well, you have rather a lot to be angry about," he said fairly.

"But I'm not the only one who has shit going on," Sirius persisted. "I mean, look at Moony. He has more reason to be angry than any of us, but yet he manages to go through life without punching the damn Fat Lady."

"That was rather inadvisable," James admitted. "Remember the last time you offended her, when we were drunk and she'd left her portrait and we had to wait for ages?"

"Oh, yeah, and I asked if she'd been out shagging Sir Cadogan," Sirius said, chuckling. "And then we wanted to know if portraits can actually shag."

"She never answered us, did she?" James mused. "Pity. I'd still like to know."

"Me too." Sirius grinned. "She did say the next time I was even the slightest bit disrespectful she was going to teach me a lesson and not let me into the common room. I suppose I deserve that."

"We could sneak you in under the Cloak," James suggested.

"Nah, that's all right. I'll probably stay out here a while longer. Maybe by the time I go back she'll have cooled down a bit," Sirius replied. He took another drag on his cigarette, enjoying the sense of calm created by the nicotine in his bloodstream and the brisk night air on his face.

"Want me to stay out here with you for a while?" James asked.

"That's okay," Sirius replied. "I want to be alone for a bit." He glanced over at James and grinned. "Besides, you're freezing your arse off."

"Well, you're not wrong about that," James said. He stood and stretched, his limbs stiff after laying on the cold stone. "You all right, then?"

"Yeah. Thanks, Prongs." Sirius felt there was more to say; the words caught in the back of his throat, heavy and cumbersome. He cleared his throat and tried to force out something coherent. "I, well, I feel like I should..." he began, but his voice trailed off.

"I know," James said simply, taking one last sip from the flask before setting it down next to Sirius. "I'll see you in a bit."

Sirius put out his cigarette and tucked his arms behind his head. His gaze remained fixed on the night sky above him. The solitude and silence of the night had soothed his volatile emotions, and yet he felt that once he returned to the noisy common room and his friends' well-meaning but infuriating efforts to distract him, he might fly off the handle again at the slightest provocation. He sighed and took another sip from the flask, hoping the firewhisky could somehow burn away the anger that lurked just below the surface.

When he had drained the last drops from the flask and his back had begun to ache from the uneven stone, Sirius rose and made his way back to the common room. As he approached the portrait of the Fat Lady, he wondered briefly if she would allow him to enter the portrait hole, but then his attention was diverted when he noticed Mary approaching from the opposite direction.

"Hello, Macdonald," he said, pausing in front of the Fat Lady.

"Oh, hi," Mary replied, eyeing him uncertainly.

"How was your evening with Eddie Edgecombe?" Sirius asked, raising his eyebrows and smirking at her.

Mary shrugged. "It was all right," she said evasively.

"It didn't blow your fucking mind, then?"

She rolled her eyes. "Are you ever going to stop bragging about that, you arrogant prat?"

Sirius pretended to consider for a moment. "No, probably not," he answered, before reaching over and tugging playfully at her shirt. "You've missed a button, by the way."

Mary looked down at her shirt and hastily did up the neglected button, meeting his gaze without embarrassment. "So what have you been up to?" she asked. "And should we go into the common room, rather than just standing outside like a couple of idiots?"  
"You're welcome to go in once you give the password," the Fat Lady said primly. "However, _he_ is not allowed in until he can learn to control his temper and act in a way that befits a Gryffindor."

"Merlin, Black, what did you do?" Mary asked, snorting with laughter.

"Here, sit down and I'll tell you," Sirius said, sprawling out on the floor a little ways away from the Fat Lady with his back resting against the wall.

Mary joined him, and Sirius immediately launched into a spirited account of the disagreement with Lily. By the end of the story, Mary had her hand pressed against her mouth in a fruitless attempt to suppress her laughter.

"I can't believe I missed that!" she choked out. "Merlin, I love seeing Lily get all fired up and tear someone a new arsehole." She glanced sideways at Sirius. "I mean, sorry to laugh at your misery, as I know it's not exactly fun to be on the receiving end of one of her tirades, but, well…" Her voice trailed off.

"But I deserved it," Sirius finished for her, grinning.  
"Maybe a bit," she admitted.

"Come on, let's have a cigarette before we go in," Sirius suggested, leading the way to the nearest window and wrenching it open. He pulled out his pack of cigarettes and selected two, handing one to Mary and lighting his own. He leaned against the wall as they smoked, blowing the smoke out the window and keeping an ear out for the sound of an approaching teacher or prefect.

"Thanks for, you know, trying to take my mind off everything," Sirius said, watching the smoke from his cigarette drift out the window. "And even though I acted like an arse, it really does help, so please don't give up on trying to cheer me up, even though I can't promise I won't act like an arse again next time." He glanced at her, his expression uncharacteristically open and vulnerable.

"Yeah, all right," she agreed, exhaling a stream of smoke into the night and studying his face.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm sorry for brushing you off," Sirius went on. "It's just, I dunno, how I deal with things, I suppose."

"I know," she said, reaching over and touching his shoulder gently for a moment. "It's all right."

They smoked in silence for another minute, then ground out their cigarettes and flicked them out the window.

"All right, we're going to trick the Fat Lady into letting me in," Sirius said, lowering his voice conspiratorially. "You give the password, and I'll pretend I'm going to keep walking past, but I'll just follow you before she has time to swing shut."

"Okay," Mary agreed, chuckling.

The two strolled over to the Fat Lady and paused.

"Guess I'll just take a walk, then," Sirius said. "Maybe you'll take pity on me when I come back?"

"We'll see," said the Fat Lady stiffly.

"I'll see you later then," Mary said, glancing at Sirius before turning back to the Fat Lady to give the password. "Flapdoodle."

The Fat Lady swung forward to admit Mary. She stepped in, then Sirius darted in after her. The two heard an indignant cry from the Fat Lady as they stumbled laughing into the common room.

"She's going to hate you after this," Mary observed.

"Most likely," Sirius agreed, sounding unconcerned. "Come on, let's see if they'll look past my dramatic behavior and play a game of Exploding Snap with us."

Monday, March 21, 1977

Students filtered out of the Great Hall after lunch, jostling each other and chatting as they made their way to class. Sirius let their voices wash over him, but he barely heard anything going on around him. Recently he had been having trouble staying focused, finding his mind drifting away and only returning when his friends called his name and jarred him back to the present. His hand was almost constantly clenched into a fist, and he felt an undercurrent of anger simmering just under the surface and threatening to burst forth at the slightest provocation.

Today, the slightest provocation came in the form of Avery and Mulciber lounging against the door of a classroom. Sirius scowled at them, the force of his anger almost tangible. Avery noticed Sirius's gaze and nudged Mulciber.

"What the fuck are you looking at, Black?" Avery asked, raising an eyebrow defiantly.

"Slytherin scum," Sirius replied, drawing to a stop in front of them.

"That's rich, coming from you," Mulciber said. "What the fuck's that supposed to mean?" Sirius demanded.

James, Remus, and Peter had stopped next to Sirius, and they shot each other anxious looks.

"It means you're blood traitor trash, and you surround yourself with blood traitor trash," Mulciber replied, nodding at James, Remus, and Peter.

"I'd rather be a blood traitor than delude myself into thinking that being pureblood makes me better than everyone else," Sirius retorted, his voice rising as his anger bubbled up inside of him, begging to be unleashed. "You and the rest of the fucking Death Eaters in training, walking around the school like you're hot shit - it's pathetic."

Mary, noticing the telltale signs of impending disaster, stopped and murmured to James, "What's going on?"

"I'd get out of here, Macdonald," James advised her. "I don't see this ending well, and you don't need to get caught in the middle."

The warning came too late, however, as Mulciber's beady eyes fell upon Mary and a cruel smile spread over his face.

"What's pathetic is how low you're willing to stoop for a shag," he said, eyeing Mary. "That Mudblood will fuck anything that walks. Even you could do better, Black, and that's saying something."

Sirius reacted without considering the repercussions of his actions, without any strategizing or planning, without any semblance of conscious thought whatsoever. One moment he was standing there, listening to Mulciber spew hateful words about Mary, and the next he had drawn his wand and was shouting a hex without even knowing which hex was going to come out of his mouth. Mulciber was not expecting the attack and made no attempt to block, so he was blasted off his feet and into Avery, causing a mild commotion in the corridor.

"What are you doing, Black?" Mary asked, her eyes bright with a mixture of fear and anger. "I don't need you to get into a duel to defend me. It's not bloody worth it."

"Get out of it, Macdonald," Sirius spat, pushing her out of the way as Mulciber retaliated; the spell narrowly missed them, hitting the wall behind them instead. "Let me handle this." He aimed another hex at Mulciber, who managed to block this time.

Avery stood beside Mulciber, looking ready to provide backup if needed. James sighed but stood his ground and drew his own wand, as Remus and Peter hung back. Remus wore an anxious frown, but Peter seemed exhilarated by the conflict.

Mulciber, now bleeding from a cut on his temple, shot a hex at Sirius, who only just managed to block it. Before he could respond, he felt his wand fly out of his hand. He looked at Mulciber in confusion, but realized the Slytherin was also wandless. Some distant part of his brain registered McGonagall's voice calling his name, but he paid no attention and acted purely on impulse, launching himself at Mulciber and punching him squarely in the face. He got in two more punches before Mulciber reacted, landing a punch to the side of Sirius's face that he barely felt due to the coursing through his body. Slightly off-balance, he attempted to land another punch, but found himself suddenly unable to move. A moment later, McGonagall stepped into his line of vision, her mouth set in a thin, tight line and her eyes boring into him.

"I am going to release you, gentlemen, on the condition that you do no further harm to each other. Is that understood?"

As neither boy could speak or even nod, they both simply blinked at her, and she seemed to consider this tacit assent, because she muttered the counterspell and Sirius immediately felt his body relax as he regained freedom of movement. He shoved his hands into his pockets and stood glaring at Mulciber, noting with satisfaction that the Slytherin sported the beginnings of a black eye and several cuts.

"Mr. Mulciber, please report to Professor Slughorn so he can deal with you accordingly. Mr. Black, come with me," McGonagall said, setting off for her office without waiting for a response. Sirius followed, absently wiping away the blood that trickled into his eye. Now that the adrenaline was wearing off, he felt the start of a pounding headache as well as the familiar throbbing of bruised knuckles, but this only added to his sense of grim satisfaction. He had released some of his pent up anger, and he relished the feeling of relief, despite the unintended consequences. When they reached McGonagall's office, Sirius followed her inside, feeling no trace of fear or anxiety, but merely a sense of resignation. He would accept whatever punishment she dealt out, and it would be worth it, just for the memory of how Mulciber's jaw felt colliding with his fist.

"Sit down, Mr. Black," McGonagall commanded, but Sirius remained standing, and after a moment, McGonagall merely shrugged and sat down behind her desk. "Please explain yourself."

Sirius studied his bruised and bloodied knuckles as he pondered her request. "Don't know that there's much to explain, Professor," he said finally. "I reckon someone as smart as you can figure it out."

"Save the smart comments, Black," she snapped. "I'd like to know why you would ever think it was a good idea to start a duel in the middle of the corridor, and then resort to fighting with your fists when I took your wand away?"

"To be honest, there wasn't much thought involved," Sirius admitted. "I just sort of went for it." He frowned. "Why would you assume I started it?"

She sighed. "Is my assumption incorrect?"

Sirius smiled wryly. "Okay, fair enough." His smile turned to an expression of indignation. "But he was saying horrible things about Macdonald! I'm glad I punched him. He fucking deserved it."

"Language, Black," McGonagall said, her voice calm. "You need to learn that violence is not the solution to every problem."

"Oh, I know that," Sirius replied. "Sometimes the solution is a bottle of firewhisky."

She fixed him with a disdainful stare, but did not comment on this statement. Instead she sighed again and said, "Sirius, you have a lot of talent."

Her voice had softened slightly, and Sirius noticed she had used his first name, which he couldn't remember her ever doing before. He stopped flexing his battered fingers and gave her his full attention.

"You also have a lot of anger. All things considered, I think your anger is quite understandable. However, you have to learn how to channel it, to control it rather than letting it control you, otherwise you'll get yourself into a lot of trouble - and I'm not talking about losing house points or getting detentions." She fixed him with a stern gaze, and he thought he detected a note of worry in her eyes. "Do you understand?"

Sirius tried to consider the implications of her statement, but he kept hearing Mulciber's sneering voice calling Mary a Mudblood, hearing the sound of his knuckles slamming into Mulciber's face, feeling the whoosh of Multiber's hex barely missing them, so he nodded simply to dispel that look of concern from her face.

"Very well. I'll see you for detention tonight, and Wednesday night as well, and you'll lose fifty points for Gryffindor. Now kindly head to the hospital wing, Black. You're bleeding on my carpet." She gestured at the red droplets now dotting the threadbare carpet.

"Right. Er, thanks, Professor," he said, not quite sure what he was thanking her for, but feeling it was appropriate nonetheless. He then turned and left her office, swiping carelessly at his bleeding face to try to prevent it from dripping onto his jacket. He headed not for the hospital wing but for Potions, deciding his injuries were minor enough to handle on his own. He was just descending the staircase to the dungeons when he spotted Mary lurking outside the Potions classroom.

"What are you doing down here?" he asked.

"Waiting for you," she replied, her expression hard to read. "I have a free period since I gave up Potions. Best decision I ever made, by the way."

Sirius raised his eyebrows at her. "Well, are you here to tell me off or thank me?"

She smiled ruefully. "I honestly don't know. On one hand, I'm bloody furious about what you did. When you react that way, you're just showing them that they got to you. Why give them the satisfaction, you know? And even worse, you basically picked that fight with them, then goaded Mulciber into coming back to fight you." She sighed. "But on the other hand, nobody's ever stuck up for me quite so enthusiastically, and even though I think it was a fucking stupid, reckless thing to do, I appreciate it anyway."

Sirius grinned. "Well, I'm not going to apologize, because I stand by what I did 100%, and honestly I wish I could have got in a few more good punches before McGonagall stopped me, but I guess I'll take what I can get." He studied her for a moment, noticing the way her curls fell into her face and hid the eyes that revealed her emotions no matter how much she tried to conceal them. "And I have to be honest, if I ever hear him say vile things about you again, I will fucking kill him." The last words brought an ugly, hateful look to his face, and he realized with amusement he must look like a lunatic with his face bleeding all over the place.

"Don't say that," Mary said, her tone fierce. "It's not worth it. Imagine going to Azkaban just because a tosser like Mulciber called me a tart."

"He didn't just call you a tart," Sirius protested. "And it's not just what he said. I can't stand the way he looks at you - it gives me the creeps. I don't like him being anywhere fucking near you." He met her gaze, and the shared understanding of Mulciber's cruelty towards her last year hung between them, never explicitly discussed but somehow clear to Sirius.

"I know." She toyed with a lock of hair and stared down at her feet, tracing a crack in the stone floor over and over again. Sirius felt a pang of uncharacteristic tenderness as he noticed the unshed tears that rested like dewdrops on her long, dark lashes.

"Hey," he said, reaching over and wiping away a tear before it could roll down her face. Her eyes widened in surprise, and the tiniest hint of a smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. Then, for the second time that day, he acted without thinking and wrapped his arms around her. He breathed in the familiar scent of her hair and felt her body relax against him, and his own tension and anger began to ebb away.

Finally, he released her and they stood grinning at each other for a moment, before she touched his cheek and chuckled.

"You're bleeding everywhere, you prat," she said, using the sleeve of her robe to wipe away some of the blood. "Why didn't you go to the hospital wing?"

"Cause I'm a stubborn sod," he replied, his grin widening and causing his cut to bleed more freely. "And because I'd hate to miss even a second of Slughorn's lesson, even though he spends half the class fawning over Evans." He tugged one of her curls, enjoying the way it sprang back into place the second he released it. "I'll see you later, yeah?" he said, then headed for the Potions classroom, feeling more cheerful than he had in weeks.


	15. Chapter 15

Friday, April 22, 1977

Sirius propped his textbook open and hid behind it, scrawling something on a piece of parchment.

"What are you doing, Padfoot?" James whispered, trying to peer over the textbook to see what his friend was up to.

"I'm writing you a secret message," Sirius replied, waving James away. "No peeking."

"What's the point of writing me a secret message when I'm sitting right next to you?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Because this is more fun."

"Is everything all right back there, boys?" Flitwick asked, looking up from the notes he was magically writing on the board to eye them sternly.

"Just copying down the notes, Professor," Sirius replied. "But we couldn't decide if that swirly bit is supposed to be a whirlpool or a spider web. Could you please clarify this matter for us?"

Professor Flitwick sighed. "Mr. Black, that 'swirly bit' is an illustration of the wrist movement required to perform this spell, as I suspect you well know." He used his wand to underline a heading above the illustration that read 'WRIST MOVEMENT' in large, looping letters.

"Ohhhhhh," James said, nodding. "Right. We should have realized that."

"But Professor, that illustration isn't exactly accurate," Sirius pointed out. "You haven't drawn anything to indicate the forward jab at the end. Also, the circles are a bit misleading, because it looks like they are getting narrower and narrower, when you really want to keep it consistent, right?"

Flitwick frowned thoughtfully. "Well, yes, you do have a point, Mr. Black. How would you draw it, then?"

"Glad you asked!" Sirius said, hopping out of his seat and striding to the front of the classroom. He picked up a piece of chalk and began to draw, blocking the board with his body until his illustration was complete. Once he was finished, he stood back and allowed the class to admire his artwork. "What do you think, Professor? It's more accurate, don't you think?" He leaned against the board, exuding an air of casual confidence and ease.

Flitwick scrutinized the drawing on the board, then looked at Sirius and sighed. "Mr. Black, you have drawn an obscene illustration on my board." He gestured at the drawing, two circles with dots in the middle that bore an uncanny resemblance to part of the female anatomy.

"Professor!" Sirius exclaimed, his face drawn into an expression of shock and indignation. "I would never pollute the eyes of my classmates with such a profane image! Perhaps you simply have a dirty mind." He set down the chalk, dusted off his hands, then returned to his seat amidst laughs and whistles from the class. As he passed Mary's seat, she gave him a thumbs up and he winked at her.

"I know I've said this before, but this is actually the best day of my life," Remus said through his laughter, leaning over from the seat across from Sirius and James. "And look, Wormtail started to copy it down." He held up Peter's parchment for them to see, tapping the section where Peter had drawn one half of the illustration before realizing Sirius's intentions.

"Brilliant," James said, nodding in approval and trying to catch his breath after laughing so hard he had nearly fallen out of his seat.

"But that's no good, Pete, you can't have just one," Sirius said, snatching the parchment from Remus's hand and finishing the drawing before handing it back. "There you go."

"Settle down, class," Flitwick called, resuming his lecture. Flitwick had erased the provocative drawing, yet Sirius could not help but notice that he looked more amused than angry.

Sirius returned to writing his secret message to James, bending low over the parchment so that he was entirely hidden by the propped up textbook. Once he finished writing, he folded the parchment up several times, then labeled it 'To be read by Mr. James Edward Potter only!' and slid it across the table to James. James glanced at it and chuckled, then unfolded the parchment and began to read.

_Dearest Prongs,_

_Is it just me, or is Macdonald looking extra good today? If you haven't noticed, which I'm sure you haven't because you're too busy staring at Evans, please take a minute to look so you can give me an informed answer. I am fairly certain one of the buttons on her shirt is about to call it a day. I'm hoping it flies off and hits someone in the face, causing a diversion so I can sneak her off to the second best broom cupboard Hogwarts has to offer (the best one being too far away for a middle of class rendezvous, obviously). If the button scenario doesn't create a natural diversion in the next three minutes, we may need to come up with a plan B, as I am unable to focus on anything academic and likely will remain this way until snogging commences. Also, I am hungry, but that is unrelated. Please advise, Prongs, as this is a matter of life or death._

_Love, Padfoot_

_P.S. I wasn't kidding. Take a look at Macdonald ASAP._

James looked up from the parchment and rolled his eyes. "You're an idiot," he whispered, grinning.

"Oh shut up, you'd never be able to sit through class without me to entertain you," Sirius replied. "Now are you going to follow my instructions or not?"

James sighed and directed his gaze to the desk a few rows in front of them where Mary sat dutifully copying down the notes. He watched her for a moment, then shrugged.  
"I dunno, mate, she looks the exact same as she always does," he muttered.

"No, you can't see from here, go and have a proper look," Sirius urged. "Go put my note in the rubbish bin, and take a look on your way by. Be sure to pay extra attention to the third button from the top." He gave James a meaningful look. "I'm not going up there to stare down her shirt," James protested. "She's going to think I'm a pervert."

"Are you kidding? It's Macdonald - she'll probably be flattered by the attention, honestly."

"What are you two on about?" Peter whispered, straining to catch their conversation.

"Padfoot is forcing me to throw something away just so I have an excuse to ogle Macdonald," James explained, crumpling the note and standing.

"Ooh, excellent, you can put this in the bin for me, then," Remus said, handing James a crinkled chocolate wrapper.

"Take this too," Peter said, reaching into his bag and pulling out a Drooble's wrapper and a broken quill to add to James's collection of rubbish.

"You're all gits," James muttered, heading to the front of the classroom and dropping his handful of refuse into the bin. He then turned and started back toward his seat, pausing to tie his shoe in front of Mary's desk. When he stood, he gave her a long, searching look before hurrying back to his seat.

"Well?" Sirius asked. He noticed Flitwick looking their way and hastily stared down at his parchment and pretended to take notes.

"I guess I know what you mean," James replied, then snorted with laughter when he glanced at Sirius's parchment and saw that instead of taking actual notes, his friend was writing "Wormtail loves Bertha Jorkins" over and over. "I'd like to say that I felt like an absolute creep doing that, but I will also say that you do have a point, that button is definitely not secure. I don't think this constitutes a life or death situation, however. Try thinking about something else - I run Quidditch plays in my head when I need something to, er, distract me."

"Don't tell me what is or isn't life or death, Prongs. What if I die from lack of snogging, then how would you feel?" He tore off a piece of parchment and began scribbling on it. "I'm not running bloody Quidditch plays in my head. I know that works for you, but I've tried it before and it's no good." He finished writing and folded the scrap of parchment into quarters. "Here, go and put this on Macdonald's desk for me."

"No way," James argued. "I was just up there. Flitwick's going to get suspicious if I keep getting out of my seat."

"That's true," Sirius conceded. "I suppose I'll just have to do it, then." He raised his hand. "Professor Flitwick? I have a question - I'm not sure I've copied this down correctly. No, don't trouble yourself, I'll come to you." He grabbed his notes, then thought better of it and swapped them out for Remus's. As he walked up to where Flitwick stood perched on his usual pile of books, Sirius slipped the folded piece of parchment onto Mary's desk.

"It's this bit, Professor, is this right?" Sirius said, pointing at a random section of Remus's notes. "Hang on, no, that really is wrong. He, I mean I, forgot to reverse the wrist movement for the countercharm. Thanks, Professor!" Sirius gave Flitwick a thumbs up, then returned to his seat.

"Some note-taker you are, Moony," he said, scratching out Remus's incorrect diagram and redrawing it before handing it back to him. "Here, you're welcome."

Mary turned around in her seat and gestured at the note in her hand, then raised her eyebrows at Sirius. He gave her an encouraging nod and mouthed "Go on!" She looked unsure, but nevertheless shrugged and raised her hand.

"Professor Flitwick?" He once again paused in the middle of a thought and looked at her expectantly. "May I please go to the hospital wing?" He frowned. "What's the matter, Miss Macdonald?"

She bit her lip and glanced down at her hands. "Well, er, it's…" She lowered her voice and gave him a pointed look. "It's a female-related issue."

Flitwick turned red and began studying the cover of the book directly underneath his feet. "Very well, very well, Miss Macdconald, go ahead."

"Please, Professor, could I have someone come with me? I think I may pass out."

"I'll do it, Professor Flitwick," Sirius said, striding across the room and taking Mary's arm. "I'll see you safely to the hospital wing, Macdonald, don't you worry." He hustled her out of the classroom, turning and giving the class a wave before he pulled the door shut behind them. They waited until they were a safe distance away from the classroom before bursting into laughter.

"I can't believe that worked," Sirius said. "And I can't believe you went along with it without knowing what I was up to."

"I like a bit of adventure every now and then. But how did you know he would buy that?" Mary asked.

"I figured he'd be so uncomfortable he'd just send you out without asking any questions," Sirius explained. "He just seems the type."

"Nice work," Mary said, grinning. "So why the sudden need to get out of class, anyway? Oh, by the way, did you by any chance send Potter to pretend to throw something away so he could stare down my shirt earlier?"

"I did, but he was supposed to be subtle about it, the silly sod." Sirius shook his head in exasperation. "Anyway, that's the reason we had to get out of class."

"What, so Potter could look down my shirt?"

"No, so _I_ can look down your shirt. And snog you. And possibly shag you, if we use our time wisely." He glanced sideways at her. "Unless you are opposed to the idea, in which case I can escort you back to class to copy notes and be bored out of our minds."

"Of course I'm not opposed to the idea," Mary replied. They had reached the broom cupboard, and Mary pulled open the door and stepped in, then pulled Sirius in after her. "In fact, I think it's the best idea you've had in ages."

A short time later, the two hurried back to class, Mary trying to button her shirt while simultaneously raking a hand through her tousled curls, Sirius tucking in his shirt and wearing a smug expression.

"Bloody hell, I've lost a button," Mary observed, throwing her hands up in irritation and giving up on her shirt. "Be honest, do I look like I've just done a quickie in a broom cupboard?"

"Yes," Sirius replied without hesitation. "But in a good way. What about me?"

She looked him over and sighed. "There's lipstick on your shirt, your zipper's undone, and your tie is missing."

"Brilliant." He did up his fly and pulled open the Charms classroom door. "After you, Macdonald." He waited for her to go first, then followed her into class and slid unobtrusively into his seat.

"Mr. Black," Flitwick said, frowning. "I expected you back much sooner."

"Well, I would have been, and I did hate to miss instruction, but Madam Pomfrey said if I waited a few minutes I could escort Macdonald back to class, and I didn't think it would be very chivalrous to leave her to fend for herself - what sort of Gryffindor would I be if I did that?" Sirius picked up his quill and sat with it poised above his parchment. "Anyway, I'm back now and ready to learn. Please carry on, Professor."

Flitwick's eyes traveled from Sirius's lipstick-stained shirt to his conspicuous lack of a tie, then took in Mary's wild hair and her missing button. Their disheveled appearance left little doubt as to the true reason for their absence, and Flitwick seemed to be weighing his options before finally clearing his throat.

"You will each lose five points for Gryffindor," he said.

"May I ask what for, Professor?" Sirius asked, a look of innocent curiosity on his face.

Flitwick hesitated for a fraction of a second. "Violating dress code," he replied, the tiniest smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "You aren't wearing a tie, and Miss Macdonald is missing a button. Now, let's please return to the lesson, as we've already had far too many interruptions for one day." He began writing on the blackboard once more, shaking his head in either exasperation or amusement, or possibly a combination of both.

"You look much more focused," James whispered, smirking.

"You know, I feel much more focused," Sirius replied. "Did I miss anything important?"


	16. Chapter 16

Wednesday, May 11, 1977

"I'm bored," Sirius announced, finishing the last bite of his lunch and pushing his plate away.

"Me too," James agreed. "It's been a rather boring day, hasn't it?"

"It's been a rather boring week."

"That's not true, those two Ravenclaws had that very public fight the other day," Mary pointed out. "That was fairly entertaining."

"Oh yeah!" Sirius said. "I can't believe I forgot about that. When he said he couldn't believe he'd actually thought he'd fallen in love with someone who only got an 'Acceptable' on the Charms O.W.L., and she slapped him in the face and told him he doesn't know nearly as much about the Goblin rebellions as he thinks - that was classic."

"Ravenclaws really know how to insult each other," Remus remarked.

"I wish they'd have another fight," Peter said. "It would liven things up a bit."

"I don't," Lily said. "When she chucked a book at him, I was walking by and almost got hit with it."

"Was that before or after he said he'd rather date Moaning Myrtle than be forced to spend another second with such an ignorant tart?" James asked.

"He said that _because_ she threw the book," Lily explained. "He was horrified she would treat a book with such disrespect."

"They're back together, though, aren't they?" Mary asked. "I saw them snogging at break yesterday. I suppose they enjoy the drama." Suddenly, her eyes widened and she reached over to touch Sirius's shoulder. "I've just had a brilliant idea to cure our boredom."

"Oh?" Sirius raised his eyebrows. "Do tell."

"Let's stage an argument. The argument to end all arguments. We can make the fight those Ravenclaws had look like a polite disagreement." She looked at him, her face lit with anticipation.

"I'm in," Sirius said, grinning. "Although this would definitely give people the impression that we're dating. Do we care?"

"I don't care at all, to be honest," Mary replied. "I've had much worse things said about me."

"I guess I don't really care either," Sirius mused.

"People already do think you're dating," James added. "I get asked about it all the time."

"Well, then I suppose it doesn't matter anyway," Sirius said. "All right, what should our fight be about?"

"Hmmmm." Mary twirled a lock of hair around her finger as she thought. "How about you're cheating on me?"

"That's rather rude of me. Who am I cheating on you with, then?"

"Moaning Myrtle! You ran into her in the prefect's bathroom, and she liked what she saw," James suggested with a wink.

"How could I cheat with a ghost?" Sirius asked. "That's not even physically possible. I'd just, like, go right through her." He shuddered.

"Well, it would be more of a one-way thing," James conceded. "She would probably just, I dunno, watch you."

"James Potter, what in the name of Merlin is wrong with you? This is the most disturbing conversation I've ever had the misfortune to be a part of," Lily complained, grimacing.

"I wish I could honestly say it's the most disturbing conversation we've ever had, but I know we've had worse," Remus said with a wry smile.

"What if we don't name a specific girl?" Sirius suggested. "Actually, what if there are multiple, unnamed girls, so everyone's looking around wondering who the lucky girls are that get to experience all of this." He put a hand to his chest and grinned.

"Bloody hell, you might be the most arrogant person I've ever met," Lily said, looking at him incredulously.

"That's pretty inconsiderate to say, Evans, when James is sitting right there," Sirius said. "He's held that title for ages, and now you're just going to take it away from him?"

"Fine, I stand corrected. You are the second most arrogant person I've ever met," Lily amended.

"Thank you. Now, Macdonald, I'm fine with being a dirty cheater, but I think you've got to be at fault as well, so it's a fair fight, know what I mean?" He tapped a finger against his jaw as he thought. "What if I accuse you of giving me a box of Bertie Botts that you tampered with so it only has gross flavors?"

Mary laughed. "That's an oddly specific thing to just come up with off the top of your head," she remarked.

"That's because I didn't come up with it off the top of my head," Sirius explained. "We did that to someone for April Fool's first or second year. Anyway, what if I also accuse you of filling my pockets with cat treats so Mrs. Norris will follow me around everywhere?"

She raised her eyebrows at him. "Let me guess - you've done that before as well?"

Sirius grinned mischievously but didn't answer. "All right, should we plan out anything else, or just sort of wing it?"

"Wing it, I think," Mary said. "Before we start, though, I think we should agree not to take anything said during this fake argument personally." "Agreed," Sirius said. "I think we should also agree that when we inevitably storm off, because what's an argument without a good storm off, we should meet up by the broom cupboard for a make-up snog."

"Yeah, all right," Mary said. "Although does it count as a make-up snog if we're not actually arguing?"

"Semantics, Macdonald," Sirius said, waving his hand dismissively. "Anyway, would you like to start? You are, after all, the one being cheated on."

"I'd love to." She straightened and cleared her throat. "You absolute fucking arsehole, Sirius Black!" she shouted, crossing her arms and glaring at him. "Did you really think you could cheat on me with three different girls and I wouldn't find out?"

People sitting nearby turned to stare. One first year girl sat gaping at them, her fork paused halfway to her mouth.

"What was I supposed to do, when you gave me a box of Bertie Botts with only bad flavors in it? What kind of psychopath does that?" Sirius shot back.

"I'm the psychopath?" Mary slid out of her chair and stood staring at Sirius with the full force of her pretend rage. "You're the one who wears a leather jacket no matter what the weather is. Doesn't your body adapt to temperature, for fuck's sake?"

"Oh yeah?" Sirius stood and faced Mary, his handsome features drawn into a haughty expression. "Speaking of my jacket, I know you put cat food in all the pockets so bloody Mrs. Norris would follow me around. I got three detentions because of you!"

"It serves you right, you arrogant tosser! Was it really necessary to shag girls from all four houses at once?"

Several girls at the Ravenclaw table turned to stare at them, then began whispering amongst themselves animatedly.

"How else was I supposed to decide which house is best at shagging?" Sirius argued. "Don't be jealous, Macdonald, it's not a good look for you. I have a sexual appetite that can't be satisfied by just one person."  
"So I'm not enough for you?" Mary demanded. "Who else would let you eat treacle tart off her arse while wearing a hippogriff costume?"

Upon hearing this question, a boy at the Hufflepuff table stared down at his treacle tart in horror, then pushed it away in disgust.

"Oh, well if we're airing bedroom secrets for the entire student body to hear, we may as well talk about the time you asked me to spank you with Remus's copy of _The Great Gatsby!"_

Remus sighed and looked from Sirius to Mary, completely unimpressed.

Mary's eyes widened. "Or what about the time we shagged in the prefect's bathroom and we realized Moaning Myrtle was watching us, and instead of thinking it was creepy, you liked it!" she shot back.

James gave her a surreptitious thumbs-up, thrilled she had found a way to include his suggestion.

"McGonagall is heading this way," Sirius said under his breath, jerking his head in the direction of the staff table. "We should storm off in a second." He raised his voice again. "I don't know what's wrong with that! She's been dead fifty years, the least we can do is give her a show, and if you're not on board with that, then we're through!"

"Fine with me," Mary shouted. "I don't want to date someone who likes when ghosts watch him shag, thank you very much! Good luck eating treacle tart off of Myrtle's arse, and don't come crying to me when it just falls through her ghostly fucking body. You've broken my heart, Sirius Black!" She grabbed Peter's goblet of pumpkin juice from the table and threw it into Sirius's face, then stomped out of the Great Hall.

"Why the fuck am I always getting pumpkin juice thrown in my face?" Sirius demanded, knocking the empty goblet onto the floor and kicking it for good measure, before stalking away after Mary.

When he caught up with her in front of the broom cupboard, they looked at each other for a moment before dissolving into hysterical laughter. Mary leaned against Sirius, struggling to stay upright because of how hard she was laughing. Sirius had to catch his breath before he could finally speak.

"But why didn't you tell me you were going to throw pumpkin juice in my face?" he asked, still slightly breathless. "I would have done a charm to protect my bloody jacket. Now it's all sticky."

"I wasn't planning on it, it just came to me in the heat of the moment," Mary explained, prodding the juice-spattered sleeve of his jacket. "Sorry about your jacket, but it did add dramatic flair, don't you think?"

"Yeah, I suppose it did," Sirius conceded. "And you missed it, I threw the goblet on the floor and then kicked it, so that just added to the drama."

"To be fair, I didn't think we were going to be revealing actual secrets. What we do with Remus's books should stay behind closed doors. He'll never forgive me."

Sirius started laughing again. "Bloody hell, I'd forgotten I said that. But wait, that was only because you said the thing about the treacle tart! That was one time, Macdonald, one time! And what was that rubbish you added about a hippogriff costume?"

"I dunno, it just felt right," Mary replied, grinning. "Seems like the sort of fucked up shit you'd be into, doesn't it?"  
Sirius raised his eyebrows. "You're the one who thought of it. You sure it's not your secret fantasy?" He glanced at his watch. "We still have a bit of time before class." He opened the door to the broom cupboard and ushered her inside. "Come on. I can make hippogriff sounds if you like. Actually, hang on, what sound does a hippogriff make?"

"I think they sound a bit like Moaning Myrtle," Mary replied, pulling the door shut behind them.


	17. Chapter 17

Wednesday, May 25, 1977

Mary gazed out the window at the sun-drenched grounds and cloudless sky, a blissful smile on her face. Despite the exams that were getting closer and closer, despite the looming obligation to return home for the summer, despite the troublesome events of the world outside of Hogwarts, Mary could not help feeling cheerful on a day like today.

"It's too nice out to do homework," she announced, crossing the room to lean against Sirius's armchair. "I simply cannot focus when the sun is shining like that."

"All right," Sirius said, setting down his book without hesitation. "Want to sneak into Hogsmeade, then?"

"That sounds like an excellent idea," Mary said. "Hang on, I'll just run up and change."

While Mary changed her clothes, Sirius retrieved the Invisibility Cloak from James's trunk. Rather than taking the secret passage into Hogsmeade, it would be more pleasant to walk along the road so they could enjoy the sunshine, and the Cloak would be useful to have if they happened to pass any teachers. Sirius hastily scrawled a note for James and left it on top of his trunk: _Borrowed the Cloak to go into Hogsmeade. Don't worry, won't do anything disgusting on/under it. -Padfoot_

He tucked the Cloak into his pocket and set off for the common room, taking the stairs two at a time. When he reached the bottom of the spiral staircase, he spotted Mary waiting for him, leaning against the back of an armchair and clad in a snug t-shirt and very short shorts.

"Looking good, Macdonald," Sirius said, looking her up and down and not making an effort to hide it. "But I'd just like to know, are you wearing those ridiculously short shorts to try to draw attention away from whatever's going on with your hair?" He reached over and ran a hand through her curls, which were even frizzier and wilder than usual.

"Shut up, Black," she said, swatting his hand away. "I'm out of bloody Sleekeazy's." She raked a hand through her curls, trying in vain to tame it, but if anything, she only succeeded in making it look even puffier.

"Well, good thing we've decided to go into Hogsmeade, then," Sirius said, heading for the portrait hole. "You can buy the village's entire stock of Sleekeazy's. Should be enough for at least a week's supply, right?"

"Don't have a go at me, just because you were born with the world's most naturally gorgeous hair," Mary protested as she followed him. "Some of us have to work hard to make our hair look somewhat respectable, while you literally roll out of bed looking like that." She gestured at his sleek, dark hair that fell into his eyes.

"Merlin, Macdonald, why do you continue to feed my already inflated ego?" Sirius asked, tossing his head to showcase his hair. "And thank you, by the way. It's one of the only Black family traits I actually like."

As they walked through the corridors, they caught snatches of lecture and conversation as they passed various classrooms. Sirius always enjoyed the feeling of knowing other students were stuck in class while he was free to roam the castle and grounds. When they reached the Entrance Hall and stepped out into the almost blinding sunlight, Sirius's spirits soared even higher. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his cigarettes, pulling out two and handing one to Mary before lighting his own.

"What a fucking day, Macdonald," he said, taking a deep drag on his cigarette and letting the pleasant feeling of the smoke in his lungs and the sun on his face wash over him. "I feel bad for those sorry sods who are stuck inside learning."

"Ugh, me too," Mary agreed, throwing back her hair and turning her face up to the sun. "This weather is perfect. We should have skived off all our classes and just lounged outside all day." She looked at him, squinting against the bright sunlight. "I wish I brought sunglasses."

"I think I have an extra pair," Sirius said, rummaging in his undetectably extended pocket and pulling out two pairs of sunglasses. He put one pair on, then handed the other to Mary. "Never be caught without shades, Macdonald. That's a rookie mistake."

"Cheers," she said, placing the sunglasses on her face and grinning up at him. "How do I look?"  
"Extremely cool," he assured her, nodding in approval.

Feeling no need to hurry, they strolled along the path to Hogsmeade, smoking in companionable silence. When they reached the village, Sirius put out his cigarette and looked at Mary.

"Where should we go first?"

She dropped her cigarette onto the ground and ground it out with her foot, then shrugged. "Doesn't matter to me. Should we stop into Honeydukes? I think we owe Remus at least ten chocolate bars at this point."

"Make it eleven," Sirius said, grinning. "I took one this morning." He laughed at the amused expression on her face. "What? I like to bring a snack to Muggle Studies! The Hufflepuff girl I sit next to is always high off her arse and starving, so I share."

"We should honestly just buy their entire stock of chocolate bars, that should get us through the rest of the term," Mary remarked, setting off towards Honeydukes.

"That's not a bad idea," Sirius said as he followed after her.

Upon entering the store, he selected a basket from a stack near the door and began filling it with assorted chocolate bars.

"You know you have a problem when you need a basket," Mary said, adding several boxes of Bertie Botts to their haul.

"Ooh, better add another box of Bertie Botts," Sirius said, grabbing one off the shelf and tossing it into the basket. "I wasted most of Peter's the other day trying to catch them while doing a cartwheel."

"Were you successful?" Mary asked.

"Eventually. It took most of the box before I could catch one, though. I think I still need a bit more practice to fully master it. You can help me if you like."

He added one more box of Bertie Botts to their pile for good measure, then brought the basket up to the counter. Mary reached into her pocket and pulled out a handful of coins, but Sirius pushed her hand away.

"Don't be stupid," she protested. "I ate just as much of that chocolate as you did. I'm not letting you pay for all of this."

"It's my pleasure," he replied, handing the coins to the Honeydukes employee. He accepted the bulging bag of candy from the clerk and stepped out of the shop and back into the blinding sunshine.

"Careful, Black," Mary said, following Sirius and letting the Honeydukes door swing shut behind her. "You can't go around paying for things for me. It's a very boyfriendy thing to do. That seems like a clear violation of the spirit of our arrangement, even if there isn't a specific rule prohibiting it."

"Boyfriendy is not a word," Sirius pointed out. "But if it makes you feel better, you can buy me something when you get your Sleekeazy's."

He pointed at the shop a little ways down the road that sold all manner of beauty potions, and they both set off in that direction. They had just reached the front of the shop and Mary had her hand on the door to pull it open when Sirius grabbed her wrist and pulled her into an alley beside the shop.

"What are you doing?" she asked, but then her eyes widened in realization as Dumbledore strode out of the shop clutching a large bottle of Bob’s Bodacious Beard Oil and headed towards The Three Broomsticks. "Good save. I would have walked straight into him, probably." 

"I'm a professional rule breaker, Macdonald. I can sense teachers. It's like a little alarm starts going off in my head when there's a teacher within a certain radius." He peered out of the alley and looked up and down the street, but saw no sign of Dumbledore. "It looks like the coast is clear. Come on."

The two of them stepped into the shop and were immediately greeted by the scent of various perfumes mingled together. The effect was overwhelming enough to give Sirius an instant headache.

"Hello love," said the blonde witch arranging a display of nail polish that changed color based on the wearer's mood. "I haven't seen you in here in a while." She smiled at Mary and held up a bottle of the nail polish. "I just got this in. It turns 12 different colors, depending on your mood."

"Ooh, really?" Mary took the tiny bottle and examined it. "Wait, it's scented, too? Well, I absolutely have to have this." She wandered slowly around the shop, stopping to gaze longingly at a display of glittery eyeshadow before her eyes fell on the price tag and she moved along to the next display.

"Try this!" she said, picking up a bottle of perfume and spritzing Sirius with it before he had time to reply.

"Thanks a lot, Macdonald," he complained, waving a hand in front of his face to try to dispel the scent. "Now I'm going to smell like a bloody girl."

"No you won't." She sprayed the perfume on her own wrist and dabbed it on her neck, then set the bottle back down on the shelf. "It's supposed to mimic the way Amortentia smells like what attracts you." She sniffed her wrist and frowned. "Well that doesn't smell like anything."

"I think you're supposed to smell it on me, dumb dumb," Sirius said.

"Shut up," she replied, leaning in and breathing deeply. "You're right!" Her eyes lit up with excitement, and she took another deep breath. "It smells like freshly-brewed coffee, and the way the air smells right before it rains, and chocolate, and…" She took another breath, then continued. "Well, it smells like that soap you use, and leather, with a hint of cigarette smoke, but that's just how you normally smell and not the perfume, I suppose. What do you smell?" She laughed and rolled her eyes. "Nothing but bacon, probably. Or maybe the delightful aroma of James after Quidditch practice?"

"Sod off, Macdonald," Sirius said, taking hold of Mary's wrist and bending over it to breathe in the scent of the perfume. "It smells like the sea, and the way the Great Hall smells during a feast, and like leather, too, and maybe vanilla?" He leaned in so that his lips almost brushed her neck. "Definitely vanilla, and a bit of peppermint." He drew back and grinned.

"That's what Sleekeazy's smells like," Mary said. "Except I haven't used any today, so that's interesting."

"Did you say you need Sleekeazy's love?" the blonde witch asked, pulling a large bottle from a nearby shelf and handing it to her. "We have the jumbo size now."

"Brilliant," Mary said, taking the bottle of potion. "It's a level three hair emergency, if you couldn't tell." She gestured at her frizzy mane of hair. "Maybe I'd better get two bottles, so I have enough to last through the summer." She set down her items on the counter, then went to get a second jumbo bottle of Sleekeazy's. "Muggle hair products don't work nearly as well."

"No, they really don't," the witch agreed, ringing up Mary's purchases. "Oh, here, you get a free comb with the Sleekeazy's." She pulled a bucket of little combs shaped like broomsticks from underneath the counter. "Which team would you like?"

"Oh, hang on, what's the team with the ugly orange uniforms?" Mary said, glancing sideways at Sirius and pretending to look thoughtful. "You know, the team that hasn't won the league since the 1800s?"

"It was 1892, barely even still the 1800s," Sirius muttered, selecting a Chudley Cannons comb from the bucket. "And you know perfectly well that they're called the Cannons, don't you?"

"Of course I do, you hardly ever shut up about them," Mary replied as she paid for her purchases. "I just enjoy teasing you."

"Thanks for stopping in, love," the blonde witch said, smiling at Mary and Sirius as she handed Mary a hot pink shopping bag. "And can I just say, you two make such a cute couple."

Sirius, busy admiring his new Chudley Cannons comb, did not seem to notice the witch's incorrect assumption, and Mary did not bother to correct her, but simply thanked her and left the shop. The issue seemed, as Sirius would say, like a matter of mere semantics.

"Should we stop anywhere else?" Sirius asked, glancing at his watch. "Or should we head back?"

Mary considered this. "Well, I'd like a butterbeer, but do you think it's too risky? What if Dumbledore is in there?" She directed her gaze down the road at The Three Broomsticks, frowning.

"I have a workaround," Sirius said, setting off for The Three Broomsticks and nodding his head to indicate Mary should follow. When they reached the pub he did not approach the front door, but headed instead to the alley that led to a little fenced in area behind The Three Broomsticks. Mary hesitated, unsure if they were allowed back there, but Sirius strode confidently up to a back door and pressed a doorbell shaped like a broomstick. After a minute, the door opened to reveal Rosmerta, wearing a confused expression that transformed into a friendly smile when she saw Sirius.

"Hello, Black. And you've brought your lovely friend." She raised her eyebrows at Sirius. "Are you back for another case of firewhisky already?"

"No, I'll be good for a bit," Sirius replied. "We saw Dumbledore heading this way, so we thought we'd better check and see if it's safe to come inside."

"Oh, no, you'd better not, he's sitting right at the bar," Rosmerta said. She placed her hands on her hips and gave them a disapproving look. "I don't know how you haven't been caught yet, Black, sneaking down here all the time when you're not supposed to, buying more firewhisky than any one person has any right to be buying, and I don't know what else. And now you've dragged your lady friend into your disreputable ways. "

"Don't give me that rubbish," Sirius replied, grinning. "Now that I'm of age I could buy firewhisky anywhere, so you could stop selling to me if you're really that opposed, but I know you won't, because then you wouldn't be blessed with my presence nearly as often. And I'll have you know, this is much more reputable than how we normally spend Wednesday afternoons, isn't it, Macdonald?"

"I'd say so, yeah," Mary agreed. "Although we do usually start with homework, so maybe that counteracts the disreputable behavior that usually follows?" "I think it depends how much homework we do," Sirius said. "Anyway, that's neither here nor there. Do you think you could bring us two Butterbeers, Rosie? And then we'll be on our way and won't darken your doorway with our disreputable ways?"

She laughed. "I suppose I could do that." She accepted the coins Sirius held out to her, then retreated through the door.

"Hang on, I was supposed to buy you something to pay you back for the candy!" Mary protested.

"It's all right, you got me the Chudley Cannons comb," Sirius said.

"Technically, I didn't buy that because it came with my purchase."

"Technically, you're a pain in the arse. Now shut up and let me buy you a damn Butterbeer."

Mary opened her mouth to reply, but at that moment Rosmerta opened the door, clutching two Butterbeers. "Here you are. I'd hurry back to the castle, and keep your wits about you, because I think Dumbledore is going to leave soon." She waved, then turned and hustled back through the door.

"I suppose we'd better go, then," Sirius said, after uncapping his Butterbeer and taking a sip. "We can drink these as we walk."

They strolled along at a leisurely pace, sipping their Butterbeer and basking in the warmth of the afternoon sun. Occasional whiffs of Mary's intoxicating perfume reached Sirius's nostrils when the breeze blew, and he found himself sneaking glances at her when she wasn't looking.

"Are you staring at my arse, Black?" she demanded when he failed to pull his gaze away fast enough.

"If you didn't want me staring, you shouldn't have worn such tiny shorts," Sirius said, grinning. They had almost reached the castle. "Want to go back to the common room?"

"No, let's stay out here for a bit. I thought you were going to practice your Bertie Botts cartwheel move."

"Oh, right. Let's go over here, then." He led the way to a flat, grassy area by the lake, then pulled a box of Bertie Botts from the Honeydukes bag. "All right, you're going to want to throw it so I catch it right as I come out of the cartwheel. I tried catching it when I was in the middle of the cartwheel, but it was a terrible fucking idea, I nearly choked." He removed his jacket and folded it carefully, then set it down on the grass out of the way.

"What, you can't cartwheel in a leather jacket?" Mary asked, amused.

"No, it restricts my movement too much," Sirius replied, as if this should have been obvious. "Ready?"

Mary nodded, and Sirius took a step back, then launched into a perfect cartwheel. Mary selected a bean and tossed it to Sirius, but aimed too high and ended up hitting him squarely in the middle of the forehead.

"Shit, sorry," she said, grinning. "That was impressive, though. How'd you get so good at cartwheels?"

"I am a man of many talents," Sirius said, giving a dramatic bow. "Now let's try again, but this time get the timing right, yeah?"

They tried five more times before Mary managed to land the Bertie Botts in his mouth.

"That was brilliant!" she squealed, surprised at her own excitement.

"I know," Sirius said, sprawling out on the grass next to her. "Sometimes I'm so talented, I astound myself."

She rolled her eyes and lay down next to him, enjoying the feeling of the breeze softly blowing the tendrils of her hair around and rustling the leaves in the tree above them. She felt sleepy and content, and happier than she had been in a long time.

"You didn't correct the witch in the beauty potion shop," Sirius remarked. He plucked a blade of grass and used it to gently tickle her thigh. "When she said we were dating, I mean."

Mary giggled and snatched the grass out of his hand, then glanced over at him when she realized what he had said. "I didn't think you were listening," she admitted. "I notice you didn't correct her either."

"I couldn't see the point," Sirius replied. "What does it bloody matter if the witch who owns the beauty store thinks we're dating? I'm a catch, and you're, well, you're not bad yourself." He grinned and pulled her towards him. "Now I'm going to snog you, because that fucking perfume is driving me mad, and honestly, whoever invented it is a genius."

Several minutes later, Mary pulled away, breathing heavily. "Hang on, we can't just do this here, out in the open like this." She grabbed Sirius's hand as he toyed at the waistband of her shorts. "Knock it off, Black. Hagrid or Dumbledore or someone is going to walk by and I'll never recover from the bloody embarrassment if they see me shagging you in the middle of the grounds. Let's go up to the dormitory."

"But it's so far away," Sirius complained. "Nobody will see." He leaned in to kiss her, then stopped, a smile spreading over his face. "Wait, I have an idea." He reached over and grabbed his leather jacket, fumbling around until he found the extended pocket. He reached in and pulled out the Invisibility Cloak and tossed it over them. "Now nobody can see us. Just try not to move around too much, because it only just covers our feet."

"James is going to be furious," Mary said, not managing to sound the least bit concerned.

"Probably," Sirius agreed, reaching over to unzip her shorts and tug them down, careful not to disarrange the Invisibility Cloak. "But he'll get over it."

Afterwards they lay curled against each other under the Cloak, too relaxed and lazy to even consider returning to the common room. The Cloak's finely woven material was surprisingly breathable, allowing the light breeze to drift through, keeping them cool and comfortable.

"What an excellent Wednesday," Mary murmured, breathing in the faint scent of the perfume on Sirius's skin. She ran a finger up and down his arm slowly,

"Best Wednesday I've had in a while," Sirius agreed. He felt cozy and secure hidden under the Cloak, and he let his heavy eyes close as he breathed a sigh of contentment. After a minute, his breathing became slow and rhythmic as he slipped into a doze, and Mary rested her head against his chest and let herself drift off to sleep as well.

"Sirius Orion Black, tell me you're not naked underneath my bloody Cloak!" James's voice, loud and jarring in the otherwise quiet afternoon, roused Sirius from his sleep. "Where are you? Show yourself, because I feel weird shouting at the empty air."

"Hullo, Prongs," Sirius said, pulling the Invisibility Cloak down to reveal his face. "Hello, Moony, Wormtail, Evans."

"Is Mary under there with you?" Lily asked.

"No, Evans, I'm laying naked by the lake under the Invisibility Cloak by myself," Sirius said, pulling back the Cloak to show Mary's face. "Hi," Mary said, grinning sheepishly. "Ooh, check out what I got from the beauty shop. They have this new perfume that smells like Amortentia." She pulled her arm out from under the Cloak and pointed at the pink shopping bag, then hastily adjusted the Cloak to ensure she was covered.

"Really?" Lily retrieved the perfume from the bag and spritzed herself liberally with it, then sniffed her wrist.

"No, you have to smell it on someone else," Mary explained.

Lily brought the perfume over to James and applied some to his neck before leaning in to smell him. "Wow, that's really impressive!" she said, taking another deep breath. "It smells exactly like the Amortentia Slughorn showed us in class."

"Bloody hell, this stuff shouldn't be legal," James remarked, breathing in the perfume cloud emanating from Lily.

"What does it smell like to you?" Lily asked, taking a step closer to James, then catching herself and stepping back quickly, her cheeks slightly pink.

"Broom polish, and the sort of crisp fall day that's perfect for Quidditch, and my mum's treacle tart, and that bubble bath in the prefects' bathroom you like," James replied without a trace of embarrassment. "What does it smell like to you?"

She ignored his question. "I didn't use any bubble bath today," she replied. "That must be just the perfume." She smirked.

"Well, big shocker, James is attracted to you," Sirius said, rolling his eyes. "Honestly, if anyone's surprised by that, they've been living under a rock."

"Does the phrase 'my mum's treacle tart' sound dirty to anyone else?" Remus asked.

"A bit," Peter agreed.

"Gross," James said, grinning at Remus and Peter before turning to Sirius. "So, you borrowed my Invisibility Cloak to have sex out in the open in the middle of the afternoon?"

"Well, that wasn't the original reason I borrowed it, but that's just the way the day went," Sirius replied.

James blinked several times. "I don't know whether to be angry, proud, or jealous," he admitted.

"Go with proud and jealous," Sirius advised him. "Moony, will you be a pal and hand me my pants? Somehow they ended up all the way over there. If you do it, there's a shit load of Honeydukes in it for you."


	18. Chapter 18

Saturday, June 18, 1977

"You'll have to come and visit once I get my flat in London," Sirius urged Mary as he lay sprawled on the floor on the train compartment with his legs propped up against the seat. "You can be second to ride my motorbike with me."

"I assume James will be first?" Mary asked, taking a bite of a pumpkin pasty and brushing crumbs from her lap.

"Obviously," James said. He and Peter were tossing a Quaffle back and forth; Peter threw it too wide, and James just barely managed to catch it, knocking Remus's book onto the floor in the process.

"Watch it, Prongs. Don't come between Moony and his books," Sirius said, retrieving the book and handing it to Remus. "Are you going to ride on my motorbike?"

Remus laughed. "No fucking way. Judging by the way you fly a broom and operate a sled, you'll probably drive us into a building, and I'd like to stay alive, if it's all the same to you." He flipped through his book, attempting to find his page.

"I'll give it a go," Peter said, catching a hard pass from James and grunting as the Quaffle hit him in the stomach.

"Thanks, Wormtail. See, Moony, he trusts me, I dunno why you don't. Just because I can be a bit reckless once in a while doesn't mean I'm going to get you killed." He adjusted his position so that his back rested against Mary's legs.

"Are you really getting a motorbike?" Lily asked, tipping a few Bertie Botts into her hand and examining a green one.

"Yeah, why not?" Sirius replied. "You can ride on it too if you like, but I dunno. You're going to have to hang on tight, especially once I tinker with it and get it to fly, and Prongs might get too jealous."

"Shut up," James said, grinning and aiming the Quaffle at Sirius's head. Sirius reacted just in time and snatched it out of the air, then threw it one-handed to Peter.

"You're going to tinker with it and get it to fly?" Lily repeated, frowning. "Is that legal?"

"Definitely not," Sirius said. "But since when do I care if stuff's legal?"

"Is it safe?" Lily persisted. "Do you know what you're doing, or is it going to fly for five minutes and then send you crashing to your death?"

"I understand the theory behind making something fly. It isn't hard," Sirius replied. "And I did an entire project on motorbikes for Muggle Studies, so I know how they work, at least hypothetically. So it's just a matter of applying my theoretical knowledge in a practical way. A bloke in my Muggle Studies class is supposed to come help me - he has a motorbike of his own, even though he hasn't done any modifications on it, and James is always good at fucking with something until it works, so I figure one way or another I'll get it done." He raised his eyebrows at her. "Have some faith in me, Evans, will you?"

She shrugged. "Yeah, all right. Just, you know, be careful." She smiled wryly. "I'd hate to see you get yourself killed. I've just recently stopped thinking you're an obnoxious drama queen - well, that's not exactly true, because you are in fact an obnoxious drama queen, but now I don't find you quite so intolerable."

"I'm going to consider that a compliment," Sirius said, leaning his head back so Mary could play with his hair.

When the Hogwarts Express pulled into King's Cross Station hours later, Sirius and Mary hung back as everyone else struggled out of the compartment, laden with trunks and various owl cages. Sirius bent to retrieve a copy of Witch Weekly that had fallen onto the floor by Mary's seat and placed it in her bag. They looked at each other for a moment, both unsure how to say goodbye without crossing the arbitrary line they had created for their unconventional relationship.

"Are you going to write to me?" Mary asked finally, hoping her question sounded more offhand than she had meant it.

"If you're lucky," Sirius replied. "Actually, have you got a telephone? Because I expect I can find a payphone that's not too far from my flat, and if I get bored maybe I'll give you a call and annoy you."

"You know how to use a telephone?" she asked, incredulous. "When have you ever used a telephone?"

"Well, I haven't ever used a real one," Sirius admitted. "But I know what to do. We practiced in Muggle Studies."

She snorted with laughter. "You're kidding! That's hilarious, but also adorable." She pictured Sirius sitting in class, frowning in concentration as he dialed a number on a fake telephone. "All right, yeah, I'll write down my number." She pulled a scrap of parchment and a quill from her bag and scrawled her phone number, then tucked it into his pocket. She opened her mouth to speak again, longing to let the almost tangible weight of her unspoken words tumble out, but instead she merely stood on tiptoe to kiss him. He wrapped his arms around her and entwined a hand in her hair, and it seemed like he understood somehow exactly what she wanted to say without her having to utter a word.

They broke apart eventually, and Sirius pushed her curls out of her face and grinned at her. "I'll write you when I get my flat, and you can come and stay when you have a day off from the diner. I could come pick you up in my motorbike, if you want."

She smiled and picked up her trunk. "I'd like that," she said, leading the way out of the compartment.

"Maybe I'll even come into the diner when you're working. You know, practice blending in with Muggles and using Muggle money. It's part of my summer homework."

She glanced back at him and smirked. "The other waitresses will love you. They're always falling over any even remotely decent-looking bloke who comes into the restaurant."

"I'm intrigued. Are they attractive? Would I be interested in any of them? The waitresses, I mean, not the blokes."

She laughed. "Most of them are at least twice my age."

"That doesn't answer my question," Sirius replied.

They exited the train together, and Mary noticed Sirius's jaw tighten as they passed Regulus and a dark-haired woman who must be their mother. For a moment she feared one of them would say something and cause a row, but Sirius looked straight ahead and strode past without so much as a glance in their direction.

"Look, is that Mr. and Mrs. Potter?" she asked, trying to take his mind off the tense encounter. "They're bloody adorable, aren't they?" They apparently had not been able to decide which of them would hug James first, so he was sandwiched between them in a lopsided but enthusiastic embrace.

"Yeah, they are pretty bloody adorable," Sirius agreed. After releasing James, they had spotted Sirius and were now waving at him with enormous grins spread over their faces. "I suppose I'd better go over there before they make a spectacle of themselves." He frowned slightly. "Is your mum picking you up?"

Mary nodded. "I told her it was silly, I can just take the Muggle bus home myself, but she insisted. I'm going to go and wait for her outside of the barrier, although she's always late, so I'm sure I'll be sitting there for ages." She grinned at him. "I'll see you around, Black," she said, before setting off through the crowd of students and parents. Just before she stepped through the barrier, she glanced back over her shoulder and saw Mrs. Potter wrapping Sirius in a warm hug. Even from a distance, Mary could not miss the pure, uninhibited joy on Sirius's face, and she forced herself to look away, feeling as though she should not intrude on this private moment.

After stepping through the barrier, she scanned the crowd for a sign of her mother, but failed to spot her and sat down on a bench to wait. She attracted the occasional odd look when her owl hooted or fluttered around in the cage, but otherwise nobody paid any attention to her. To keep herself busy she began French braiding her hair. As she pulled her curls taut and deftly wound the strands together, she tried to feel cheerful about the long stretch of summer months looming ahead. Maybe this summer would be different. Maybe her mother was drinking less. Maybe there would be fewer strange blokes her mother had met Merlin-knows-where, sitting at her kitchen table rummaging through her refrigerator and looking her up and down when her mother wasn't paying attention. Maybe she wouldn't have to work quite so many hours at the diner to make sure her mother had enough money to fall back on when she inevitably squandered her own paycheck on booze or "lent" money to the boyfriend of the week after he gave her some pathetic sob story about needing an operation or paying off a debt.

Mary glanced up at the station clock and realized with a start that had been sitting there brooding for over an hour. She sighed, realizing her mother was not coming. Maybe she should stop deluding herself.

She gathered her belongings and made her way over to the nearest bus stop. She reached into her pocket to make sure she had enough Muggle money, glad she always kept some on hand for situations like these. When the bus pulled up, the driver narrowed his eyes in confusion at Mary's owl cage, but he seemed to take pity on her when he noticed her downcast expression, because he didn't complain but simply took her fare and helped her heave her trunk onto the bus.

She sat with the owl cage on the floor, jammed against her shins, and watched London pass by out the window. Remembering her Witch Weekly issue in her bag, she pulled it out and flipped through the pages, trying to distract herself from her disappointment and hurt, and the nagging feeling that she should have known better than to expect much from her mother in the first place. As she stopped at an article about the wedding of a Bulgarian Quidditch player to the heiress to the Bertie Botts fortune, a scrap of paper fluttered out and landed on the floor. She bent to pick it up, immediately recognizing Sirius's handwriting. A smile spread slowly over her face as she began to read.

_Hello, Macdonald,  
_

_You are currently asleep on the train with your head on my lap, which, as previously discussed, is a bit boyfriendy, but I've decided to let it slide. Since everyone is either asleep, reading a dreadfully boring book, or daydreaming about snogging a certain feisty redhead, I've decided to write you a note to entertain myself._   
_I'm actually looking forward to this summer, which feels really weird, because when I was living with Walburga and Orion, summers were more unbearable than sitting through History of Magic, or watching Pete snog Bertha Jorkins, or listening to James go on about Evan's eyes, or, well, you get the picture. I hope you do come and stay, because I think it'll be a real laugh, plus I don't know if I could make it through the entire summer without you feeding my enormous ego. Hopefully the diner gives you a day off once in a while so you can make the trip. Don't think I won't actually go in there while you're working, too, because I wasn't joking. I want to see the respectable-looking middle aged lady who reads the dirty books, and I plan on impressing you with my ability to properly use Muggle money, even though I suppose you won't be very impressed, as you've been doing that your whole life. Also, I'm excited to see you in your uniform, as I bet it's quite sexy._

_We should also take some sort of trip on the motorbike - maybe to the sea. The Potters have a second home by the sea, and it's probably my favorite place to go in the world. I bet we could make the trip in no time if we fly. Also, unrelated, but I've decided to get a tattoo this summer, I can't remember if I told you that. You should get one, too. Maybe something like "Sirius Black is the best shag I've ever had," with a little heart or something._

_Well, I'm going to end this, because it's getting difficult to write without waking you up. I hope you enjoyed my rambling, and aren't too depressed about the prospect of summer, because as previously discussed, this summer is going to be excellent as it is going to involve much more of me than your summers normally do._

_Sincerely, your most hilarious and sexiest friend,_

_Sirius Orion Black_

_P.S. Just looked down and noticed you're drooling, so I can't wait to make fun of you for that._

Mary folded up the note and put it back in her bag, then rummaged around until she found a Honeydukes bar. She unwrapped it and broke off a piece, then ate it slowly, savoring the familiar, comforting taste that reminded her of her Wednesday afternoons with Sirius. She thought of the months ahead of her and smiled. Maybe she hadn't been fooling herself after all. Maybe this summer wouldn't actually be so bad.


End file.
